I just got engaged, and my mom wants to do an Indian engagement ceremony?

Question

Here's the thing: Although I'm Indian my parents didn't raise me with ANY Hindu beliefs/traditions/information, so I feel very strange that my mother suddenly wants to introduce me to Indian customs. My Fiance is white, and although I know he wouldn't mind at all, I feel weird about suddenly practicing a Hindu custom I know very little (absolutely nothing) about. I've always dreamed of wearing a beautiful white wedding dress, and getting married in a church, but now I'm afraid my mother might have different ideas of maybe having an Indian-American fusion wedding.

Usually I'd say I have no problem with that, expect for the fact that I don't feel close to my culture at all!! It's like a slap in the face, I mean I don't know/feel any significance towards it.

What do I do?

Answer 1

I'm going to take a guess that your parents were married traditionally the Indian way . Although, they may have not raised you that way, you should not feel separated from what you are. Having an American wedding and another custom Indian wedding should work out for you and your parents. You should just do it anyways to make your parents happy, and not to show you have completely been disconnected from your culture.  

Answer 2

why dont you have two engagement ceremonies

Answer 3

It's just the engagement ceremony right? Just do it for her.  You can come to common ground about it.

I'm having the same kind of issues too. I'm white and my bf is Vietnamese. His mom wants a Vietnamese style wedding and I want the traditional white wedding. To appease his family we are having 2 ceremonies

Answer 4

I know the feeling- my parents force me to go to church every Easter and Xmas, but we never ever go any other time of year.  Don't let your family push you around, this is your wedding and you have to set a precedent that it's your way or the highway.

Answer 5

Tell your mother you'll have an Indian Engagement Ceremony and let her arrange it all, if you can have a 100% Western White Wedding and arrange that all by yourself, and she won't object in any way.  Good luck, congratulations on your engagement!

Answer 6

"That's nice of you to make the suggestion mom, but I want to do (fill in what you want to do) for MY wedding."

Answer 7

I can see your point of view.  Maybe you should talk to your mother about it and explain that it is not your faith or your beliefs and that you would prefer to not have an Indian wedding.  Then in that case i would suggest something as a compromise.  Maybe not getting married in a church but someplace non-religious.  Like the reception site.  That way it is practical for your guests and your mother does not have to feel ashamed that her daughter has gone away from her culture.  I think it is probably the idea that your mom is inviting hindu friends and family and she is probably worrying about what they would think.  Speak to your mom and see what compromises you can come up with.  Unless you are paying for EVERYTHING yourself.  Then you can do whatever you feel like.  Hope this helped a little.  Congratulations!

Answer 8

maybe ur mom thinks this is a once in a life time event,i guess she wants it to be special,or else maybe she wants to invite the relatives over and they might be asking her why not celebrate in the hindu way?just talk it out with her and find out why she wants to celebrate it the hindu way.who knows u might even enjoy it! there is no point in arguing with ur mom,since u won't be long with her,just make her understand its ur special day,and what u want is also important.anyway congrats.

Answer 9

go  ahead  with  it ,, indian  wedding  are  elaborate  and  fun ,, your  fiance  might  actually  enjoy himself  through th  ceremony ,,,

why   wear  white  when you  can  wear    red  and  gold  and pink ,,, ?

i  am  getting  married  soon  with  all th  essential  indian  customs !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 10

i knw where ur coming from but i think it's important to talk to ur parents about what they want and what u want. i'm sure what makes u happy make them happy, or why not do the fision thing, then both side are happy, lol

jus talk wit u parents thats what i'll do right now. ur parents wil probably invite a lot of Indian relatives? so ur mum  might want to impress them or something.