I just got invited to a pot luck wedding. Tacky or not?

Question

I just got invited to a pot luck wedding. Tacky or not?

Answer 1

A little tacky, but what the heck.  People are really feeling it bad now with gas prices and job losses.  It is probably all they could afford.  I would think you would not have to dress to the hilt and since you are putting effort into bringing a dish you can subtract the cost of that from spending on the wedding gift.

I wouldn't dwell on it.  Be glad they thought enough of you to invite you.  Bring your gift, your dish, a smile and have a good time!

Answer 2

It depends on the family, really.  In my extended family, almost every holiday occasion is a potluck.  If I were invited to a family wedding for a family member who was of modest means, I wouldn't think anything of it and would happily bring a dish.  

Honestly, I would much rather go to a potluck wedding (and eat home cooking) than attend a "real" wedding reception at at not-so-nice hotel or banquet hall where the meal is tasteless chicken and soggy salad.

Answer 3

Really tacky in my opinion. I wouldn't ever have one, but if people are really short on money I can understand why they might. Provided it's a very low-key and casual wedding it's not as bad. But if they rented a hall for grandma to bring her famous potroast or aunt susie to bake brownies that's pretty tacky.

Answer 4

Why that is very tacky. OMG,when you invite people to a function it is customary to provide the refreshment or meal. The better choice is to stay with simple menu to save money.

Answer 5

People are always coming up with different ideas and ways of doing things that have been long recognized as traditional. Some folks just want to break out of the mold. Recently, I saw a wedding on television where the bride and groom and the bridal party came riding in on John Deere Tractors with pigs, horses and all kinds of cattle standing around during the ceremony.  I laughed until I cried - it was different - but what they wanted.  In essence, I guess today's wedding's are open for all kinds of new and strange ideas.  Potlucks included.  lol

Answer 6

tacky... but it saves on money

Answer 7

Tres tacky

If money is tight, then have a smaller wedding and only invite immediate family and very close friends.

You do NOT invite people to something like a wedding and ask them to bring food and/or refreshments.

Answer 8

It would depend on the circumstances.  If that's how it's done in your community, cool.  Sounds like a good idea to me.  My cousin's wedding was partly that way.  All the ladies in the parish brought a covered dish, and they were all wedding guests.  We don't live there, and didn't know they do it that way, but that was fine.  One of the best receptions I've ever been to was not only pot luck, but in a backyard on picnic tables.  When it got dark, there was a fire and most of the groom's family played some sort of guitar or banjo, and we had a sing-along.  Way more fund than a lot of formal receptions I've attended.  And I didn't have to wear hose.

If the families are wealthy and that's not common in your area, yeah, tacky.  But so much of what happens at weddings is tacky.  Money dances, gift registries, asking for money instead of gifts.  That's all very rude.  Even including a response card is actually rude, because it assumes your guests don't know enough to tell you if they're coming or not.  Yeah, they probably wouldn't, but those people don't return the cards anyway.

Answer 9

Yes, it was tacky. For economic reasons or not you should not expect guests to bring their own food. That's called a picnic not a wedding.

Answer 10

Not.  Our culture is too focused on spending big $$$ on weddings when a pot luck is charming, adds flare, and people are sharing a form of love and support--food.

Answer 11

It depends on how laid back the couple is and how much money they have.  Personally, I would go, and bring a box of pop-tarts.

Answer 12

not tacky, its fun!  my husband and i actually did this...we had a pot luck engagement party, and surprised everything there and got married!  it was awesome, no stress, everyone had a great time.  we provided the cake and alcohol and asked everyone else to bring their favorite dish, and we had a perfect medley of everything :)

Answer 13

They're becoming more common now I think.  If it's just for good friends and family, why not?  Maybe the couple can't afford a catered reception but wants to have a party.  Or just plain doesn't believe in spending hundreds to thousands of dollars on food.  Or maybe the family has lots of allergies or a few people with really nasty ones and this is their way of making sure no one needs to take a cousin to the hospital because the caterer put sesame seeds in the vegetables or something.  If it's a reception for, say, family plus 200 people who barely know each other - that's getting to tacky territory.  But as long as it's written clearly on the invitation and not a surprise a week before the wedding, you can always send regrets and not go if it bothers you.

Answer 14

It might be tacky but if it makes them happy so what!

Answer 15

Tacky and hey, you might get food poisioning too.

Answer 16

It depends.If its a real formal wedding then yes,tacky.If its a very casual type event perfectly ok.Times are changing the old rules no longer apply all the time,But it does depend on the type of event it is.

Answer 17

If this was a small family wedding that was thrown together for a 'reason' and the family is doing this so the couple will have a reception instead of just a town hall wedding . . . than it's OK, since it's family.

If this is someone you know who is doing this to get a present and defer the cost of an expensive wedding/honeymoon than its is just tacky.

Answer 18

As long as its a casual wedding, I don't think its tacky.

Answer 19

I hate them.. I had to go through this pot luck stuff when I trained to become a health care worker.. someone had to bring in a meal every Friday... yes of course it saves money because everyone else does all the cooking.. I don't like that.. you get invited to a wedding where the bride and her family are too lazy or to tight with money to do the cooking... or to invite their friends out to a meal.. well in that case I would say.. they should save for the wedding more..if they are financially in such dire straits.. I would not do that.. and we had no money for our wedding. i had no church wedding and we were 14 people altogether and I remember a handful of gifts. most of them were flowers.... just some other gifts from the immediate family and best friend.. we certainly had no bridesmaid and no church wedding and not even fresh flowers just a bunch of silk and feather and pearl flowers I got for myself...  and it's ok also..  and now it's 20 years later that was back in 1988...  and we took those who were there out to a restaurant... or my mom would have cooked. even if  I lived with my partner and nowhere near my parents .... but I would not held a pot luck wedding....  x*x

Answer 20

The only pot luck weddings I've ever been to have ever only had close friends and family invited, so it was never a big deal to contribute.  In fact, I don't think it's tacky at all.  I wouldn't see a problem with a person not bringing a dish if they lived out of state, or it was too much of a commute, and likely they wouldn't be asked to contribute if they had to travel such long distances.

My advise to you, contribute a dish or don't attend the wedding.