I just had a baby and my son is being extremely temperamental? ?

Question

I had a baby girl about 3 weeks ago, she had some problems and had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks, but it’s all fine now and she’s been home with us for a week now. I have three children from a previous marriage; Jason, 15, Debbie, 8 and Kevin, 6. My husband also has two children from a previous marriage, Christopher, 7, and Alison, 4.

Christopher came to sleepover at our house the other night as him and Kevin is good friends. Jason and Kevin share a room and our daughter Samantha sleeps in our room in her bassinet. So the other night I was in the bathroom talking a bath and my husband was downstairs with the baby, this was around midnight. When I walked into my room my son, Kevin, was sleeping in our bed. When I woke him up he started crying and throwing temper tantrums, I only got him to bed at 4 am.

Now Kevin is not like this at all, he is the ‘quiet’ type. Usually when Christopher is around Kevin acts even more mature since he wants to be a big boy. But since about a day or two ago, he’s been acting very spoilt, throwing tantrums and being clingy. Could this be b/c of the new baby? I am worried b/c Jason was around the same age when Debbie was born and he didn’t do this at all. Kevin was very excited to be a big brother during my pregnancy even buying her a teddy bear.

Is this just a phase or is something else going on with my son? I need advice.

Answer 1

Definitely sounds like a jelousy issue; maybe he's acting 'like a baby' so that you'll treat him 'like a baby' because he thinks the baby is getting all of your attention.

Maybe (for some reason?) he's jealous that Kevin might be giving the baby a lot of attention? Maybe he feels like he's losing his 'friend.'

I'm not sure .. but you need to nip it in the bud, now! Before he gets older and it's even harder ...

Answer 2

We are having the same problem, except she is 11!!  It is ridiculous.  She is complaining that she's not the baby anymore!  Hello!  You are in 6th grade!!  I am being as sympathetic as possible, but it is getting old!  

She is the youngest of my fiance's two children.  We had a baby 2 weeks ago and she was sick and had to stay in the hospital for 9 days.  The 11 year old loves the baby and constantly wants to hold her and change her and everything, but has big crying tantrums to my fiance about how he holds the baby and loves on the baby more than her.  Well, you are 11.  We aren't going to hold you and say "goo goo ga ga."  You got all that from your Daddy when you were a baby too.  You just don't remember.

We are just giving her time to figure out the new family dynamic.  I told her that the important thing to remember is that, ultimately, we are just adding one more person to love and one more person that will love us to our family.  No matter what else may come of it, that is the bottom line.

Answer 3

He's probably just jealous that the new baby is getting a lot of attention. After all, besides Alison, he was the baby. Now, the new child "is taking all the attention". Believe me, I've been there and done that. Every child acts differently to the situation of a new sibling- Jason and Kevin are two different children with two different personalities and outlooks.

Try spending individual time with each of your children, and show them that you love them all equally. He's acting out because he is not getting the attention he wants and is use to...

Answer 4

he is just not used to the new baby and since there was problems u are probably giving the baby a little more attention then what you would have if she didnt and he is feeling left out!!! just include him in on things my little sister does the same thing and she is three when i had my son... i just included her in on things like letting her pick out his clothes going to get diapers letting her feed him ect and it seems to be working she not as clingy and finall sleeping in her own bed and alot better with the tantrums  

Answer 5

its perfectly natural and may be just a one off, however, see if there are any more signs such as trying to get your attention. This may be it. SO try and spend time with each of your kids let them know you lvoe them equally.

Answer 6

Jealousy, just make him feel included and he won't be so resentful. Let him help out a bit with the baby under your careful supervision.  

Answer 7

There will be no peace until you give Kevin a feeling of responsibility by helping out.

Kids truly want to help.  Kids THAT age also need to have time alone with you....even just 15 minutes will help....it has to be EXCLUSIVE time with him.

Even one chore that involves doing something for the baby will help him realize that he and the baby are siblings and he will bond better with the baby if he knows he can help.

Even my 2 year old is in charge of rounding up dirty baby bottles around the house when it's time to wash dishes.  She also gets into the dishwasher and takes out all 5 parts to the babybottles when I need to make a bottle of formula for the baby.  

It can be as simple as Kevin accompanying you every time you go to change the baby's diaper.  I promise between you and Kevin, you will find something that he loves to do to help.

It'll take a few more weeks.  My newborn is 4 months old now, and my daughter started helping (NO...I started LETTING my daughter help) when the baby was about 8 weeks old.  

We were all nervous wrecks until I realized that she was getting into the dishwasher because she had watched me putting the baby's bottles together (they are dr. brown bottles, so they have lots of parts), and had taught herself to do it.

I yelled at her constantly, trying to get her to stop getting into the dishwasher, but when I figured out what she was doing, I let her do it, and we were all HAPPY after that.

Answer 8

Totally understand what you are going through. I had a baby 10 months ago and my husband has a son from his previous relationship too,he is 6 years old now. When my baby was born he started acting bad,he cried for everything,throw himself to the floor every time he wanted something and didn't get it his way,he wanted to sleep with my husband all the time,and this is not my kid,so I can imagine what Kevin is going through and I think is normal but we can't let this co far if not it will become worst. Just talk to him,tell him that his sister is so little that she can't do anything on her own,tell him to help you with her, that way he won't feel "left out" now he realizes that there is a new baby taking all your attention,so just try to talk to him and he has to understand that you love them all the same but you have to give your new girl more attention until she is bigger. Hope this helps and good luck!