I just had a death in my life, and I don't know how to handle it I need some advice please.

Question

Its hard for me to show any emotions. And I hate talking about it with people who I know cares about me and worried about me. I just usually isolate myself from the world, and when I don't I usually let my anger take over me, and throw it on the people who I mostly care about and they care about me. I need a better way to handle the pain inside my heart. I'm just afraid of loosing the other people who loves me, because of the way Im handling my pain.

Answer 1

talk to a counselor about these emotions.

when i bottle things up I go for a long run or a heavy weight lifting session.  You think i would be in great shape, my brother died of cancer, my mother suicide, my dad re-married someone i am not crazy over and now he has cancer and i am going to iraq in january

More working out on the horizon

Answer 2

im so sorry for your loss.

when i lost my grandfather, i just cried.

eventually..i realized that he's still with me..maybe not physically. but in other ways.  

Answer 3

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Please look into grief counseling. If you have never experienced this kind of loss, you may need help learning about your feelings and actions during this time. Feeling out of control is totally normal. Your funeral director should be a resource to get you to the people who are really good grief counselors in your area.

Take care!

Answer 4

Oh i'm so sorry! The best thing you can do is cry out to Jesus for help! Do talk to your friends n family, they do care! you need them now! i tend to isolate too so write lots of poetry n  do journal writing to get it out!

You will NOT loose those you love bcos if they love you they will understand you are hurting!!! sorry for ur loss! :(

Answer 5

I look at death as a good thing.Because I know where that person is now.They have no worries or no more pain.

And one thing that I can tell you and remember this,GOD don't make mistakes.He is a perfect God.Just keep telling yourself this and you will learn to appreciate death when it comes again,cause it will.

Isolating yourself is not good,I can tell you that.You have to talk about it to someone and if you don't want to talk to somebody you know,then sometimes its better to reach to someone you don't know.Here is my email [e-mail] or find me on myspace.My display name is Deacon Tony.God Bless

Answer 6

bE PEACEFUL, WITH YOURSELF AND WITH OTHERS, be patient, be one with God, do some meditation , and learn to accept this fact in your life. In fact talking about it a little will help, so that the grief goes out of your system , do normal things , and dont isolate yourself.Dont be angry at others or with yourself, no one gave you the right to be angry at others. you are not going to lose any1 , these things are normal.  

Answer 7

well idk if this will help you but it helped me so here it goes... i had a very close friend who got very sick, she was in a coma for about 2 weeks,then one day she woke up. so i ran to the hospital and there she was sitting up in bed eating peices of ice, i said you scared the daylights out of us, she then told me that she was with other people we knew who had died, her parents her sister,all killed in a planecrash anyway she said she would never be afaid of dying because of the time she had the past 2 weeks,then she told me she really didnt want to come back.so she was getting tired and i told her i will see you in the morning and she just smiled at me and closed her eyes. 4 hours later she was gone, and it was almost like she wanted to say good by, but i will never forget what she said, so i hope this helps you in your grief. take care and good luck.

Answer 8

i RECENTLY HAD A DEATH iN MY FAMiLY A MONTH AGO && iM HAViN TROUBLE DEALiN WiTH iT ALSO i DNT CRY OFTEN i CAN B A ANGRY PERSON @ TiMES THO. . .YU NEED 2 JUS LET iT OUT CRY. TLK WHATEVER YU NEED 2 && iTS HARD 2 TLK BOUT SUM1 YU JUS LOST BUT WEN YU TLK BOUT DEM && LET SUM1 KNOW HOW YU FEEL OR TLK 2 OTHA FAMiLY MEMBERS BOUT MEMORiES OF DA PERSON iT`LL MAKE YU FEEL SO MUCH BETTER TRUST ME! && i KNO HOW YU FEEL YU DNT WANNA GiT CLOSE 2 ANYONE CUZ YU KNO DERE GONNA DiE BUT YU DNT KNO WEN && iT TS HARD CUZ YU ALWAYS HAVE 2 THiNK BOUT THiNGS LiKE DAT CUZ WE NEVER KNO WEN OUR TiME iS OR THE PPL. AROUND US BUT HONESTLY YU JUS NEED 2 LET iT OUT && RELEASE YUR iNNER EMOTiONS SLOWLY BUT SURELY CUZ iT WiLL DEF. WiLL B HARDD  

Answer 9

I’ve been where you are now. Yes, the trauma has an earthquake impact on you but you just don’t want to show it. The face you present to the world appears strong, while you’re actually devastated within. People close to you want to help but they don’t know how to reach you. They may end up saying the usual platitudes that seem empty and irritating to you.

Understand that all that you mention are effects – physical, mental and especially, emotional - of the trauma. Your rage is not at them but at life/fate for having robbed you, and your own helplessness in the matter. Your anger at others is only in proxy. Remember you (and others too) are struggling with the fallout and trying to put your lives together again. Isolating yourself is only going to bottle it up within, with the occasional outbursts that you later regret. The unresolved stress may also become an illness, of body or mind.

You need to channelize the pain and negative energy. Like learning to walk again, one step at a time. Sometimes just engaging in routine tasks helps start the process. If there is something you love doing, getting back to it can be therapeutic. If it’s difficult to talk to family members, you might open up to strangers (as you’re doing now) and find that there are many in the same boat. Sometimes you can find meaning in just helping others.

Time will help you accept the loss, although you may never forget it. There’s a saying – pain hollows your heart, so you may receive love.  

Answer 10

Please accept my condolences on your loss.  

No matter how many times we hear it we refuse to accept that death is a part of life.  Its tough when we lose someone, even if we didnt know them all that well, we still knew them.

The absolute worst thing that you can do, is die yourself and isolate.  While you do need some time alone to heal and to process what has happened, you still do need the company of friends and loved ones.  Get with someone and talk about it.  

Answer 11

It takes time to overcome grief and everyone handles it differently. I know it sounds difficult, but you need to focus on the positive things this person brought into your life. We're all here for a short time, unfortunately. And we need to believe that each of us has a purpose for being in this world. When that purpose is fulfilled, we go to a much better, kinder place - a place where we will once again reunite with the ones we love. If it helps to talk to someone who has been touched as deeply as you are by this death, then do so. They might truly help you release your pent-up emotions and remember what a gift your friend or family member was in your life. It will get better. I promise.