I just made up his quote, is it good?

Question

Lately i been coming up with random quotes, but i dont know if they are good, what about this, is it good?

Your world may be black and white but mines sliver and gold and rainbowed

Answer 1

A quote is something someone else has said, you can't write one

Definition of a quote:

1.To repeat or copy the words of (another), usually with acknowledgment of the source.

2.To cite or refer to for illustration or proof.

http://www.answers.com/quote&r=67

Answer 2

Fix the last part. It just sounds weird with al of those ands.

Change it to: silver, gold, and rainbowed.

Answer 3

That's prolly the stupidest thing Ive ever heard.

Answer 4

Yes I think its brilliant better than something i could come up with !

And i bet it would be even better if you wrote:

Your world may be black and white but mines sliver gold and rainbowed

instead of putting the extra and in.

Hope this helps and good luck with thinking of new quotes :)

Answer 5

I like it a lot, but if were up to me, I would add more rhythm and rhyme. This might not be good, but maybe:

Your world mgiht be black and white but mine is colored and bright.

Answer 6

You'll have to emphasize certain points that are critical. The quote as it stands doesn't sound very important or intriguing. You might also not want to accuse the receiver of this quote of having a black and white world. Attempt at making a few minor adjustments, to make the quote sound as if some of the world may be black and white, but no matter what your's will never be, and say why, without being too annoying, repetitive and fake.

Your creation is okay, but I would not get anything out of it. It's better than anything I'd come up with though... T_T

If I had tried to get your meaning across it would have sounded like this: "My world is wayyy more colorful than YOURS! xP"

Answer 7

I am not going to sugar coat this. It is terrible, there is no rhythm and the sentence structure is poor.

Answer 8

Try to emphsize more on the metaphorical aspects of the actual descriptions. Poetery and all writing for that mater is meant to have a rythem like a good melody. Talk more about the darkness of the world, amplifying it until it becomes the quote and then throw in the part about the silver and gold etc...  explain the differecnce that it makes and how critical it is.