I just my divorce papers from my ex. it felt like a ton of bricks had fallen on my heart.?

Question

why do i still feel this way. i thought that my feelings for him was done. but when he told me that our divorce was finalized i felt like crying and screaming. I just felt so bad and sad. does any body else felt this way?

Answer 1

I felt relieved ..  But then I divorced him for cheating on me.

Answer 2

I felt like that when I knew it was really over (1st time) but finally I got over it.  

Answer 3

I knew it you still love him, sorry he hurt you so bad i really really mean that time will heal you sometimes it takes years.

Answer 4

you'll make it.  

Answer 5

When I served divorce papers on my ex, in spite of the years of abuse and neglect she created for me, the act of going through such a tough thing against any living being is painful.

Time will heal these wounds.

Answer 6

I think everyone feels this way. You had a marriage that you thought would last a life time. And when it didn't you felt like you failed. I'm sure he feels the same way. But it will pass. This happened to me almost 34 years ago. But I found a wonderful man we have been married for 31 years. Our son was married last Sept. See life does go on. Good Luck.

Answer 7

even though the marriage may not have been perfect,i believe there is something in us all that wanted to work it out, only when a marriage is the worst do people actually feel relief.this man was a part of your life, and that part is gone forever now.u will need to go through a grief process, maybe join a divorce recovery group. even when things got bad, and u thought this was what u wanted, its still going to hurt and your still going to be devastated.part of it is our ego;s, its hard to loose someone u loved once, to admit it failed.its very normal but gets easier in time.

Answer 8

divorce is a very emotional thing and it takes time to recovery from this..so show your emotions and move forward one day at a time

Answer 9

Because it is a part of your life that you never thought would change.  I cried my eyes out after mine too.  I did not have feelings for him any more.  

Linda

Answer 10

I thought at one time that was what I wanted too. A divorce. But then I started thinking that would be the wrong thing to do.

  I love my soon to ex husband with all my heart but he doesn't return that love anymore. I used to tell him when we first split up that I was going to file for a divorce and actually fill out all the paperwork, then I wouldn't go file it.

Now I found out from my daughter that he is filing for a divorce and it floored me. I still have heartache over it and we haven't been together for almost three yrs.

  You will be okay. It will get easier to deal with. You will always have a place in your heart for this man but you have to realize that there was a reason that you two are not together anymore now.

Like one other person on here said "Time will heal". I believe that but sometimes as times go by I don't feel healed. I used to think that heartache and broken hearts couldn't be healed.

I live a block from my brother in law and see my s.t.b.ex a lot and it DOES hurt. But if he is happy then that's all I want for him because I do love him.

  You will be okay eventually, it may not feel like it right now, but you will be. I promise you.

  Good luck and give it to the Lord. He is the ULTIMATE healer. He will help you through this if you let Him.

Answer 11

NO.  You've been kidding yourself somehow.  Net effect was that you're brain never processed the fact that your marriage was ended.  The papers made the fact unavoidable.  Now you're going to have to process the loss for real and it's going to be rough.  I suggest you find a good counselor (female) to help you through this time so you come out in one piece ready for the rest of your life.  Good Luck

Answer 12

Been there - divorce.  However, I was so happy at the end.  You just in shock because you may have been hoping for a different end.  That that document, make a copy, file the original away and frame the original, put it where you can see it always and thank God it is over.

Answer 13

divorce is like a death, you have to mourn for a short time. even though my divorce was horrible and very bitter and I was hurt very badly... I had my moments of being very sad,,, I was sad that it had not worked out like I dreamed. I was mourning what should have or could have been. I had loved him and I was mourning the fact that it never did go the way we had dreamed it would. give yourself a little time. then pick yourself up by the boot straps and shrug it off,,, for what ever reason your better off without him and you have a right to be happy in your life and no one else is responsible for your happiness but YOU.. best of luck to you  

Answer 14

Aw hun, perhaps you detached yourself from the reality of your situation, Although it was happening, you might have thought that it just wouldn't get that far. Now that it has, you've come down to earth with a thud.

You have to accept that your relationship is now over & try to move on with your life, difficult as that is, you need too. Look at it as one of life's learning curves, learn from your past mistakes & be sure that you don't make the same mistake twice.

You are free & single now, you answer to no one but yourself. Time for pastures new.

Good Luck. Chin up. X :-)  

Answer 15

You didn't get married to get a divorce but obviously something went wrong.  Saying your divorcing and actually seeing it through are two different things and just because you feel the pain doesn't mean that wasn't the right decision for you.  They say you don't realize what you have till it's gone and I'm sure not all your times w/your ex were bad so therefore you would rightfully so still have pain to go through.  I wish you all the luck and I hope you get through this quickly.

Answer 16

It's normal to feel this way....After all, a divorce is a tough thing to deal with. It means you have to realize your dream of living happily ever after is truly dead; so you will need time to adjust.

We all feel like this, I guess, even if we know it is the right thing to do.

Focus on yourself now...Exes are exes for good reasons.

Answer 17

It takes time, but you will get over it.

Answer 18

Your just shocked that its actually happening..its finally over. dont worry, you will get over it. its  abig deal when you realise, "hey, im divorced?" you will find a new who wont divorce you. im 24 and on my 2nd marriage:) go get a movie and order pizza and dream of your future love. your free to find love and romance now!!! be happy!!!

Answer 19

I have never been divorced before but I know how you feel even though you do not want to be with him you still feel like calling him and saying hey lets start over I guess it is really just a part of being human, just wait till  you see him with someone else.  I think that you may feel that way also because he sent them to you and it is usually the other way around and you are probably feeling like hey  I was that bad in the marriage but that may  not be the case usually when men do it first it is usually because they are seriously moving on and ready to be with someone else and they are just trying to clean things up.  You should just depart with him as friends do not let him know that you are hurt because that will make him feel even better when he tell other people about him sending you papers first. Just move on I am sure God has a really great guy waiting on you ahead.