I just pre registered hospital for when my daughter is born, they asked me for a visitors list?

Question

They asked me for a list of visitors to be allowed in (whole maternity ward is locked down) which should be a very very easy question, right? Problem is my brother in law's whacko live in girlfriend. She is a total basket case, she actually came to our wedding reception party, and told my mother in law I was pregnant with my boss's baby, she has called my son retarded, then at the party she was talking to my stepmother (nicest lady on EARTH!!!) asking her very stupid and racist questions (stepmother is Thai) and various other offenses. At one point just before I was married, I thought of getting a restraining order!! My problem is, this is my husbands first baby, he is going to want to share his pride with his only brother, who will have the Psycho on his arm, in all honesty after giving birth I do not believe I would be able to ignore her craziness. I want to "forget" to put her name on list, my husband say's that would be bad, we should give her a chance. I say she has had her chance

Answer 1

The marital arrangement is designed in such a way that the man is head of the house and have the final say. This doesn't mean that the woman should suffer silently. What you can do is talk it over with him again in a calm manner list all the reasons why you aren't comfortable with her being there. Do so when both of you are in good spirits. Let him know how you feel and try to understand why he thinks it would be bad to "forget" to put her name on the list.

I do hope you get this solved soon and in way that leaves everyone happy at the end of the day! Who knows, she may be on her best behavior once she sees that beautiful bundle of joy enter into this world! CONGRATS!

Answer 2

you are. this should be completely up to you who you want visiting. you're the one that just had the baby, not your husband...yes he will want to share this event with his only brother, but that can be done when you guys get home and settled, not while you're still at the hospital recovering from all the work you just had to do. you want to be able to enjoy this time, not spend it trying to get defend yourself from a "crazy woman"

Answer 3

You are definitely right in your assumptions.  Instead of ignoring it and hoping for the best, I would talk to the girlfriend.  Say, "Hey, I know that your boyfriend is going to want to come to the birth of our child.  But the way you've been acting toward certain members of our family recently makes me uncomfortable letting you into the room.  This day is very important to me, and I feel that you have been inexcusably rude to my son and stepmother, which leads me to say that I don't want you to be at the birth."  Leave her off the list, and if your husband or his brother complain, tell them how you feel about the situation and how you feel about her rude remarks to your family.

Answer 4

i wouldn't "forget" i just wouldn't do it

Answer 5

You are well within your right to determine who does and doesnt visit you in the hospital. This is a really important time fo you and your husband and you will never be able to get those first few days back. Why leave the door open for you to get annoyed as this is supposed to be a happy and private time for two people who loved each other enough to bring a child into the world. You husband really needs to respect your wants and needs during this time. there will be plenty of time for your brother in law and his psycho g/f to visit after you get home and are not in such a vulnerable postion.

Answer 6

Your husband needs to chat with his brother and make your feelings known. This is YOUR TIME and the last thing you need to be worrying about is your BIL's loose-trigger girlfriend. Talk with your hubby first and decide what's best (is it that the BIL can come but girlfriend isn't invited? or another alternative solution). If your husband's brother respects him (and you) at all then he needs to follow your wishes. This is your baby and your time, you don't need stress or drama.

Best of luck to you on this situation and congrats on the new baby!

Answer 7

If you don't feel comfortable with her visiting you, then you have every right to "forget" to put her on the list. This is your time with your baby and family, you shouldn't have to sacrifice your own comfort. And if she or your brother in law ask about it, give it to them straight.

Answer 8

Let her come, but explain to the nurses and have one of them sit in during the visit.  They can then ship her off to her own little h**l when she starts up because she's 'upsetting' you. :D  Gotta love nurses!  Before you go into the hospital tell your husband that if she does come and start up that you're not talking to her ever again.  You can do the above or either tell him no for her to visit, PERIOD.  I personally wouldn't want her around, she sounds like a freak.  You could make the visitor list as well and 'forget' her name (aren't I evil?).

Answer 9

Your husband is so wrong.  Tell him he has a choice - either his brother can visit without the whacko, or he doesn't come at all. I wouldn't let a whacko like that near me either.  

Sorry, but this is about YOUR family and YOU are the one who just gave birth.  You shouldn't have to visit with people you don't like.

Answer 10

You are right without a doubt. That is supposed to be the most special day of your life and you can't let a wack job ruin it. Her being there will/can put bad/angry thoughts on the day your child was born. So instead of thinking of how wonderful it was, you will think of her dumba$$.    Tell her, she was "invited" to the wedding, she isn't to this.