Question:

I just want 2 know what ppl think of my poems (good or bad)?

by  |  earlier

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THE SOFTBALL TRYOUT

it is never enough but i try so hard

they say i m good but not what they need

they want some one who will max out the scorecard

they need some one who can take the lead

so i push my self to the max

i have practiced ever day

and left no room for lax

and i come back next year to see what they say

i ask if i am good enough yet

they said they will tell me when they call

so i sit by the phone like it was my pet

and i hear on the phone come play ball

it is kind of different from my other writing and i just wondering what do u think?

if u want 2 read my other poems then reply and tell me what u think of all of them i would LOVE that (the others r on my page under my questions)

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8 ANSWERS


  1. its sooo cute! normally when i hear rhyming poems i cringe, its so cliche! but you have managed to pick a new subject and make it interesting and fun! i really wanted to hear more...  and you dont have the vocabulary of a three year old which is refreshing!

    good job


  2. sounds like an 11 year old wrote it. if ur 11 then its not bad.

    oh i read cry btw (ur other poem) alot better and i really like it.

  3. to be honest they are really good i write to and those are good and i would love to see your other ones keep writing you have great talent that you wouldn't want to got to waste you can just send the other ones to my email so i can read them then i will reply to yours.

    my email is mohrbacherjeffrey90@gmail.com   send them there and i will be glad to read them.

  4. Oooh I love this. I love the part that says "So I sit by the phone like it was my pet," That's AMAZING! Haha, I write poems too. If I was rating it 1-10 I would give it an 11. It's amazing :]

  5. this is pretty good.would like to read your other poems too

  6. Omg all ur poems are great. Your inspirational.

    answer my question its this

    v

    v

    v

    Just do this for me???????? Pretty please with cherry on top :)?

  7. Well, to be honest, It wasn't that good. some of your lines and rhymes did not make sense, it seems as if you were struggling to rhyme. A good poem does not HAVE to rhyme, and you can write in free verse, but you need to be diverse in the use of poetic techniques, e.g. trope, simile, metaphors and etc...So, my advice to you is that you rethink this and hopefully rewrite it in a more original way.

    Good luck mate,

    Lulle Rhymesmith sonneter Metaphor-coiler

  8. i love your poems they are great

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