I just want to cry! Can you share your story with me? (TTC)

Question

My Hubby and I have been TTC for about 6 months. It is such disappointment when AF shows up, and its always right on the dot! Then, my best friend has her baby two weeks ago, my beautiful niece was born two days ago and I think it gets to me, I'm not jelous, I feel blessed to have all these precious babies around me, (now I get to babysit). I just keep thinking; "Am I ever going to get to have this feeling?" Its hard... I'm having a brake down today! It's just one of those days, I just want to cry!

I'm 26 years old, very regular with periods, always have been. I'm on a 28-day cycle AF is always right on the dot, which is supposed to make things easier to pin point ovulation but I guess that's just not good enough! I have done every ovulation chart, calendar, tracking system, peeing on the stick to predict ovulation... I have recently stopped doing of that, I was getting obssed with it, it was stressing me out!

I guess, I'm looking for stories, suggestions, comments anything, I just need to feel a bit better today!

THANK YOU ALL!

Answer 1

Try not to stress about it.  It took us a full year to conceive.  What I started doing the last 2 months of TTC was immediately after s*x, laying on my back with my hips elevated and my legs in the air for about 10 minutes (I've read you should do it for 20, but I couldn't stand it any longer than 10 minutes).  That is supposed to help the sperm get to where they need to go - yay for gravity!!  I swear it helped as I got pregnant the second month after doing that and I am now 10.5 weeks pregnant.  If you still haven't gotten pregnant after a year of trying, you should see your doctor.  You or your husband could have a fertility issue.  Good luck and be positive - it will happen for you!!!

Answer 2

First of all, 6 months is NOT a long time to be TTC. If you've timed the baby dance correct, you only have about a 20-25% chance of getting pregnant in any given month. That means that for a healthy fertile couple, it should take an AVERAGE of 6 months to TTC. So for every couple that succeeds in less than 6 months, there's a couple that it's going to take longer than 6 month.

Even after a year of TTC (assuming the couple having been attempting to time the baby dance), only 80% of couples will have succeeded. 10% (half of the 20% that didn't) will be because of fertility issues, the other half will just be luck.

And I can tell you from experience that TTC for 6 months if very short. We tried for 4 years, many of those under the care of an RE. Nothing worked. We were finally to the point where IVF was the only option left, yet our RE only gave us a 50% chance of getting to complete the procedure, and less than 10% chance of success. Then, just before we start 1 month of birth control pills to begin the IVF regime, we get the devastating news that we can't do the IVF procedure. Blood tests have found an auto-immune condition that must be brought under control first. That was early December after 4 years of TTC... on Christmas Eve, DW noticed she was later than normal, took and HPT and discovered we had gotten pregnant on our own during a month she was supposed to be on birth control pills.

Answer 3

Your not alone! Trust me - my hubby and I were TTC since last Nov - I mean I just took myself off the pill and figured it would happen when it happened. Well in May of this year we found out I was pregnant - the best news ever right? Well everything was just fine and dandy when I went in for my 8 weeks check up - however my first ultrasound is what did it - no heart beat. I ended up having a miscarraige a week later. I was devasted and to some extent still am. Everytime I go out (whether it be the mall, resturants, park even frickin Taco Bell) there is a pregnant woman - EVERYWHERE! To make things worse most of my married girl friends are pregnant now too - so its pretty sucky. Its hard to be happy for them when your hurting inside too. It has taken me the entire summer to heal and I am just now ready to open up about it because before I was a mess. I guess God jsut works his magic differently and maybe when he believes the time is right for you (and for me) it will happen. The first time I found out I was pregnant I had never done any of the TTC measures (never paid attention to charting or ovulation or anything) and it just happened (only to be taken away). Not sure why things happen the way they do. I will never know the answer to my question (why me?) When we have teenagers who don't even want kids running around getting pregnant for fun - but I guess we just gotta roll with the punches. I do believe though that in life the more we try and REALLY want something the farther away it seems. Once we step back and just kinda put it in the back of our mind - it just happens. Hopefully you will get a baby - don't give up but don't stress either! Good luck to you!!!

Answer 4

I am sorry it is not happening for you, but I think sometimes when we are trying so hard, it remains difficult for a reason.

The good Lord will give you this gift when the time is right. I was 37 when I had my youngest daughter - It isn't the age you are, it is when it will be the right time.

Answer 5

Everyone around me has always said don't try to get pregnant and you will. If you don't stress and worry about it, then it is bound to happen eventually. I know you want that feeling, but it takes time. Just wait and good luck :)

Answer 6

My suggestion is that you stop all the scientific methods and just start enjoying your husband.  Barring any fertility problems (which you should screen for with doctors if you feel there may be a real problem) children will come in God's own time.  If you relax and focus on your relationship and enjoy the pleasure of being with your husband, you are more likely to conceive.  Stress and tension are factors in not conceiving too.

Just be sure to lay still afterward.  Spend the time cuddling.  Once you remove yourself from the equation, you'll probably get the results you want.  Also, it doesn't hurt to ask God for this special blessing either.

Good luck.

Answer 7

I had my first to by surprise BUT with the baby we actually TTC it took us almost a year..

Then I got pregnant by accident again the ONE time we didnt use protection..

Maybe stressing about it makes it harder?

My BEST friend has been trying for 2 years and nothing not even a scare! But she went to be tested and was fine then found out her husbands sperm count is low so they are having that fixed in Nove I hope it does the trick!

You are still young and I am sure it will happen soon GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 8

I understand what you are saying but I can't say that I know how you feel since I do already have 1 child, but my heart longs for more.  I have been trying and charting for the last 6 months and I still have not got pregnant. I can't do it anymore, I just give up.  I can't take it. I am so tired of being disappointed month after month. It's has got to the point that I cry myself to sleep sometimes.  I am crying right know.  It just hurts so bad.  I am sorry I know that this is not helping you.  I will pray that God blesses you.

Answer 9

This is going around the TTC section today!... We are all with you sweetie! We've just gotta remember, our time will come! I will keep you in my prayers and pray next month is your month!  

Answer 10

Ah hun my heart goes out to you my friend is in a similar position and it seems every one around her is having babies and she has been trying to conceive for a year,

My friend has tried every trick in the book ovulation calenders test kits and charting and none of it has worked last month she said ,right thats it i give up.

This month she finds out she is pregnant ,the only change she made was having s*x for fun and when they wanted it rather than relying on kits and it worked.

Just relax stop trying and charting and see what happens,lots of future baby dust to you

Answer 11

we tried for 11 months...every month we timed everything perfectly, did everything the "right way" tested, charted, etc and we still didn't conceive.  that last month, we threw everything out the window and decided to forget about it becuase we were so close to the year mark, we were going to make a fertility appointment after the holidays and start down that path...needless to say, that's the month we conceived.  i really think it finally happened becuase we started to make love again instead of trying to make a baby...it sounds corny, but it's what i believe.  trust me, i know how hard it is to forget everything and forget the stress of it...this is so important, it's impossible not to have it weigh on your mind, but when you can let go the body is a wonderful thing, it knows what to do.  best of luck, keep you chin up, and baby dust!!!

Answer 12

I'm sorry you're feeling so low.

Have you talked to your doctor?

It sounds like you're doing everything correctly.

My husband and I have been trying since April.  I know how you feel when you get AF.

Keep trying- hang in there!

You're not alone!

Baby dust coming your way!

Answer 13

usually things happen when you are least thinking about it.  

Answer 14

I am not in your boat exactly, we have been not using protection for three months.  It is driving me crazy!!  I wasn't even that worried about when we wouldl conceive since we just got married, but since it could happen any month (or not!!) it freaks me out.  A big part of me just prays to get pregnant so I am not reading into every little symptom!!!  I swear I am so bad that everytime I pick up the laptop my husband says "looking up pregnancy stuff?"  I can't even imagine us seriously TTC because I think I will go insane.  So as cliche as all of the "relax" answers might be, it is the only advice I can give you - and obviously not take myself :)

Answer 15

ask me it is very hard to get it out of my mind. TTC for 5 months. I hv taken clomid & am waiting for some success. what kills me the most is that all of girls married at the sametime as me are pregnant & this is something which even the microorganisms can do! i come back frm the doctor & start searching the net for all the information. My friends who got pregnant do not even know abt time of ovulation etc. But lets fight it out friend. It surely gives solace that i am not alone. Though i pray nobody faces it. Yes its true everywhere i go i see pregnant women & women with lovely kids. If we got everything in life without asking, we wld not value it.

Think positive; when you are patient the fruit is sweeter.

Good luck to all of us.

Answer 16

I'm so sorry this has been so difficult for you, but the odds of you having a baby soon are in your favor.  I know that you probably don't want to have somebody tell you that right now when you are so upset about it, but you are young, have regular periods, and you really haven't been trying for that long.  Also, I think you might just be overly stressed about it, and that never really helps matters.  If you can just relax and let it happen, it probably will.  Just forget the charts and have s*x when you feel like it.  

It actually took me a few months to conceive, and I honestly think that it was because the first few months I was terrified.  I mean, I wanted a baby, but having it grow inside of me was kind of frightening.  At a certain point I just thought, "I don't care if I get pregnant or not," and it happened.  Now I have a beautiful son!  Good luck to you...I know it's frustraiting, but hang in there!  

Answer 17

instead of trying to focus in on the ovulation window, have you ever just had lots of s*x?...i'm talking every other day from the moment you finish your period for 4 weeks..it worked for us...first month trying.  lots of baby dust to you, but if it doesn't work, speak with your doctor.

Answer 18

I assume you have at least gone in to determine fertility.

Aside from that, I can offer nothing helpful, as my wife was so fecund, just looking at her made her pregnant

Answer 19

It took my friend a year to concieve their baby and my cousin 2 years, (she has a lot of gyn. problems).  It will happen, it seemed when both of them quit stressing about it, they got pregnant.  I understand that it's hard, especially when you want a baby so bad, and everyone around you is having babies....but you have to stay POSITIVE, and sooner or later that's the result you'll see on the pregnancy test!!!!  It will happen, just give it some time, and then it will be your time to shine!  Good Luck and much Blessings to you and your husband.

Answer 20

Hi There

I know exactly how you are feeling and it does feel like you'll never be a mum and can really get you down.  We were ttc'ing for 17 months which did include one miscarriage, but am now 12 weeks pregnant and still can't believe it, I thought we'd never get here and still worry each day ( although now after the scan it's a little more reassuring all is well etc)

Ok, so let's see what you can try first to get things moving - Best thing to do is have a check up with your GP, they will arrange for blood tests on day 21 of your cycle to determine if you are ovulating ( afterall without it you will not get pregnant!!) and check your hormone levels etc, if you are ovulating, then thats a great start ( if not, other tests can then be carried out and help provided to boost you along, so don't worry if this is the case).

Your partner can also make an appointment via your GP to have his s***n tested, really straight forward and just a case of taking a sample to the hospital.  Remember you both need to be in working order to make a baby and it's not always a problem with the female, plus this is a much easier to test to get out of the way, so try this first.

I would also recommend a book called 'Taking Charge of your Fertility', I'd seen it suggested on this forum many times and eventually bought it myself in the end of www.play.com, it  has some great information in to help with ttcing and was a godsend to us as for the first month of charting jjust as they say we actually conceived so it was well worth the buy!!

I wish you the very best of luck, do stay positive, you will be a mum one day for sure, keep trying and more importantly keep enjoying trying!!

Jools

x

Answer 21

6 months isn't quite as long as you think it is. Most couples try for 18 months or longer before being successful. My husband and I were truly blessed in that we conceived our first child on our honeymoon, he was completely unexpected. We had no intentions of starting a family for a while. I just found out I am pregnant with our 2nd child, we have been trying for 2.5 yrs and I have been on clomid for about 3 months now. I had actually just decided this would be our last month of trying because it was mentally too much for me to deal with. Go buy a new car, start car shopping, get your mind off of the baby and it will happen, you need to focus on something else and it will happen when you least expect it. Also, you need to pray about it and pray for the Lord to help you let go and focus on other things in life. Good luck!