I just wrote tis poem 5 min. ago. is it good and wat can the title be(only 14)?

Question

as th world turns

we all fear life and death and

what will happen or

what may not happen.

this world of ours can set us free

or leave us in behind bars

leave us in tears

or all be in cheers.

living in the world can make us be who we are

inside or that we will all subside,

but no mater what,

as long as we have someone to care for,

the world will always be made of love.

Answer 1

ok "the" in the first stanza and you can't be in AND behind bars at the same time. I'm sure you're trying to say something and I'm sure if you could make that poem more than it is if you really think about your words...if we were neighbors...I'd help you out seriously cuz I like where you're going with it but...as far as the title...as cliche as it may be....why not "as the world turns" lol

Answer 2

Every once and a while I get to read a very real treasure , my compliments .

Title : Harmony and/or Balance

:0)

Answer 3

wow.

this poem is amazing.

im 14 too and i write stories.

as for the title...i'm not sure.

naming things is not something i'm good at.

but it is a really good poem

Answer 4

I think you should name it "What Is Fear" by the way it is beautiful poem for a 14 year old

Answer 5

AWSOME ME LIKEY........INNOCENT LOVE ?

Answer 6

not my type of poem but not so bad