I keep having dreams about my deceased mother and they are horrible?

Question

My mother passed away almost six months ago because of heart failure. Since then, I have had horrible dreams about her dying. I have not had a pleasant dream about my mother, and it really makes me sad. Last night was the best dream of her that I have had, where she had suffered a major heart attack and I had only a certain amount of time to tell her that I loved her. Why does this keep happening to me? I want a pleasant dream about my mother.

Answer 1

I'm sorry for you =(

You may blame yourself for her death or you must really miss her.

Answer 2

I have  had dreams about my father who passed 20 yrs ago and they are so very real.My best advice to you is to think over your relationship with her. I totally believe in the fact that our loved ones can come to us and tell us things . Perhaps she is trying to tell you to take care of your health or someone you love on this side of the plane. Talk to her she can hear you. You will then know and understand what it is she is trying to tell you.

Answer 3

I'm very sorry for your loss of your mother and the pain you've endured in all this time.

The dreams you describe are not so unusual although we'd hope for sweeter dreams of closure - and it appears by this latest dream you are finally headed in that direction.

No matter what our faith or beliefs are, all of us have a need to come to realize that deceased loved ones are somehow 'OK' and in a better way than what we recall at the end of their lives.  Some of these dreams are vividly real - and some say they are 'contacts'.  That cannot be proven or disproven, and again, that depends on one's outlook on such things.  What is important though is that they can be very real to the dreamer.

In your case the worse dreams have finally given way to one of loving contact where you are given this privilege of a final loving message - something you must have felt was incomplete.  But what is finally breaking through in your mind is the love between you and your mother - that if there was no chance for these words in her life, they were certainly understood so very well.  She would not have you feel badly about that - and you've been given the gift of the feeling that what 'needed to be said' indeed was - even if only by way of a mutual love understood so well, the very reason you miss her and have hurt so much.  

Love endures - and she lives on in you that way.  Times does - and will - heal.  She would want that - and who can say she can't want it even now?  Consider that as you will - but at least know the love lives and she would want it.  

Also know that depression happens in these things.  If it was already there it can get profoundly worse.  Other times it is just a transitional thing that should clear over time.  In either case help is warranted if you feel you need it - especially in the first case of pre-existing depression.  Don't hesitate if that's the case - it gains you nothing and is not what a lost loved one wants for you in any way.

That the dreams seem to be turning a corner, so to speak, is good - you finally seem headed for the sweetness of knowing her as somehow more whole for no longer suffering - and will be left with the sweetest thing we can give or receive: that love between.  

When that happens we get closure from the loss - not that we forget never feel sadness again at times, but that we accept loss on a level that is kinder to ourselves and permits nicer recollections and puts most of the pain and sadness behind.

Take the progressive dreams as a gift - the latest one anyway.  Think of the positives consciously, of having been able to have these moments of communication - and know that they are truly there because of the love you shared.  

Try to think more of the better times you had together and let those things work their way into your mind and heart to replace the hurt from seeing her go through what she experienced.  That part is over - a more gentle thing remains - try to embrace it.

Again, I'm very sorry for your loss - I know by experience how painful that is and my sympathy goes out to you.  I hope some of this may help you and that you find more peace and comfort soon.

All the best to you for sweeter dreams to come.