I keep having thoughts about everyone around me aging and life coming to an end. Its really disturbing. Help!?

Question

I'm a sophomore in high school now and I'm starting to realize that everyone is getting older and some good things are coming to an end. Its hard to describe but everytime I look at my parents I remember how they looked 10 years ago and how they look now. It makes me sad. In just another 10 years they'll be 60...I can already see they're hair graying, and I can see them getting weaker. It makes me so sad. I try to spend as much time with them as possible knowing that they wont be there forever. By the time they're 60 I'll be an adult and have to get a job and possibly move away. And it disturbs me so much that my mom wont wake me up for school anymore, I won't help my dad clean the backyard anymore and etc... Its hard to look my family members in the eyes anymore because I know they wont always be beside me. I keep thinking of this all the time and it really disturbs me and depresses me like h**l. How can I find peace? How can I stop these changes from happening? :(

Answer 1

g9o to the doctor and talk to him

Answer 2

I think you need to change your perspective.  Sit down and talk about this with your parents.  Obviously, you love them very much and you want them to be happy and healthy.  Many older people can look back and wish they were 50 again....or 60.....or 70.

Life does not end so quickly.  Your folks, while appreciating your concerns, may even have other plans for when you go off to college or whereever.

However, I think you come from a loving family.

  You will always have a place to return forever where you will be welcomed with open arms.  At the same time, your parents are trying to teach you to be independent, happy and loving.  While you are only dwelling on sad things that you cannot change, you should be thinking about your place in the circle of life, and life's continuum.

Your folks can see that you are a great son, and they want to see you become a contented and happy man.  If they are like most parents, they are also thinking of future grandchildren.

Now, how does that fit in with your ideas of staying at home and becoming their "caretaker"?  I will bet that they want you to grow up healthy and happy, with fixed goals and wonderful dreams of the future.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

Speak to them about it.  They'll understand, they had parents too, remember.  It's an awful thought, realising that the people you have spent the most time with in life wont always be there.  But think about it this way, you still have many guaranteed years left with your parents, no one is going to take that away or say you can't have it.  Don't think of every moment with them as your last, just enjoy your life with them as it is and everything will be fine.  You'll find that in a few years time you'll still have this love for them but may even have your own life set ahead of you.  You'll have a family in the future and you'll still be able to share these moments with your parents.

Answer 4

Well, you must realize that you can't stop these changes from happening.   Life moves forward, and part of that process is the whole "circle of life," i.e. birth and death.

I recently lost my father (he was almost 84), and just because he was old, and had lived a long and full life, it didn't make it any easier for me to lose him.  However, time DOES heal all wounds, as I notice that the pain gets a little bit less each passing day, and I am having a tendency now to remember the fun, happy times I had with him, and not remembering the last few months of his hospitalization and hospice.

As you age, you will develop other relationships with other people who will become important (notice I didn't say MORE important) to you.  These "new" people will be important in different ways -- i.e. a serious girlfriend or spouse, you may have children of your own, co-workers who become very good friends, and this expanded relationship horizon will help you cope with the eventual loss of your older relatives and friends.

Try to have peace by treating all those with whom you come in contact with the same respect and courtesy with which you treat your family, and enjoy every day spent with those who mean a lot to you.  Even the simplest things, such as sitting around your TV watching a movie and eating popcorn with your family, for example, are meaningful if you want them to be.

Answer 5

Well you can't stop these changes from happening and you shouldn't want to. You sound depressed. You should talk to a therapist. It might help you. Everybody gets older. You should try and think of the positive things in life. Life is too short to spend it unhappy. I hope you feel better.

Answer 6

first of all, it's really great that you love your parents and care about them

but frankly, you've addressed one of the main reasons people turn to religion/and or philosophy, because there are many things we care about that we cant control and need help accepting

i'm not going to tell you to turn to religion, if you've decided it's not for you, but if it IS part of your background, it's something to look at for your concerns - i guarantee you you're not the first one

Answer 7

Changes always bring about some form of uncertainty - good or bad.  Concentrate on today.  Make today a good day, and put your best efforts into whatever you do.  Maintain your integrity, and treat others well.  Even though changes can't be stopped, know that you are a very intelligent person (your comments tell us that) and make sure you use it in a wise manner.  Things go just the way they are supposed to, and we aren't meant to change them. Remember that while some good times will end, there will be new ones that are wonderful to come along and will jump right into the old ones' places!!!  You know what else....you can STILL help your dad clean the yard, and you can STILL appreciate your mom's voice even if she isn't waking you up for school.  You sound like a wonderful person, and I just know your parents feel very blessed to have a kid like you!!!!  I have a little one of my own, and I can tell you that when your child feels the way you do about their parents, that is a life well-lived.  In other words, you have been blessed, so have your parents, and you will each be well taken care of.

Answer 8

Firstly, you're a very caring person and that's a good thing! However, these distressing thoughts you're having are really interfering with your life and that's not good. The only constant thing in life is change! You need to try and let go of the things you can't control. Most people, myself included, feel intense fear when we think of our parents getting older. But look at the positives, you obviously have fabulous parents that you get on with. The only way that you can find peace is to accept that you're afraid of what the future brings and even cry a bit about if you want- let it all out! But don't let the fear prevent you from living your life. Remember, most of us (the lucky ones) are all going through the same thing- fear of losing someone we love. You're not alone there! Finally, you can't stop the 'changes from happening' but you can do lots to ensure you make the best of the time you have!

Answer 9

It's a cycle. Take it with a grain of sand. Just Love and let live. Don't worry. If you are that observant it's time to take a look at everyone else as well. It happens to everyone. It's the world man. And time. Einstein's relativity. Love something and a hour seems like a minute. Set your hand on a hot stove and an minute seems like an hour. Read some Einstein bio's man. He was a great lover. Of family friends and his work.  

Answer 10

you cant sorry ive been thinking the same thing latly and the best thing you can do is do something construtive and try and forget it and also remeber once dead they probley will be at peace something they cant do on this earth

hope i helped

Answer 11

This usally doesnt happen intill you are alot older but yeah everyone gets old and dies! Now the world coming to an end well yeah I guess that could and will happen but I douby oin your life time. The sun will burn everything up in the end it is gettin closer. You must be felling alot more older then your peers and thats ok but still try to have some high school fun!!!!!!!!!

Answer 12

Only worry about things you have some control over. The passage of time and our own mortality are not those things.

Answer 13

Just realize that life is about change... And you don't see your parents worrying about it, so why should you? Just live day by day and be thankful for what you've got today because no one knows what tomorrow is going to bring.

I used to do that too, when you start to think things like that, just think about something else, anything else, even if it's ridiculous... Like what kind of things you would like in a girlfriend, or what you're gonna do on vacation next summer, or how many shirts you own, lol. After a while you do it automatically.