I know I am too soft as a teacher - can i change????

Question

At 28 am I too late to change my nature and behaviour??(working as Teaching Assistant at moment).

I have been cursed in my career and wanna know if its better not to waste any more time going down this path.

Am i simply not built for the world of work - shall i give up and be a priest or something?? Just wanna help people and be myself. Aaaaaaaagggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Answer 1

I dont think your the problem, I think those who take advantage of your kindness are.  From my point of view, I have an 8 year old son who has been raised soley by myself since the day he was born as I left his father when I was around 1 mo. pregnant.  We live in the Northeast Kingdom of Vermont and he is not looked at as a "typical boy."  He is a very sensitive, mommy's boy who loves animals and would never think of killing a fly yet alone go hunting.  He is bullied a lot in school because he is soo sensitive and every year I demand that he have a teacher who will understand his emotional well being vs. tell him to "toughen up."  I am so very thankful that I have a smart, well mannered, sensitive little boy who has one of the biggest hearts I've ever been witness to. However, some people arent so understanding and it is those people who make life harder for him and ultimately for themselves because I'm right there to tear them a new one as needed.  I thank god for the teachers he's had the past 3 years in K, 1 and 2nd grade as they were very, very understanding of his needs and they were "kind" as well vs. some of the other teachers I've seen who have no compassion.  I say dont let people get you down as we are all different but just realize to some kids, like my son, a kind and compassionate teacher makes them able to sit through school and feel safe.  :)

Answer 2

I'm sure everyone has a different opinion, but I think a good teacher is not determined by if they are soft or strict, but can they reach the student.

My son's kindergarten teacher was incredible, and seldom had discipline problems even though she never took a strict, hard line to keep order in the class.  Parents all wanted their children in her class.  She won a teacher of the year award for her performance.

However, she didn't fit in with the style of teaching the school wanted...strict, firm discipline, etc.  She soon left and the school was worse off without her, in my opinion.

Find out how to reach the kids.  Certainly you must instill structure, but standing over them with a stick and scaring them into sheer obedience is not the way.

Good luck.  I hope you can find a way to succeed.

Answer 3

maybe it's just the age your working with.  some people are preschool teachers, some elementary and some middle or high school.  examine the group you're working with and try to figure out if you are in the appropriate age group.  maybe you need to go younger?  don't give up if teaching is really what you want to do.  you just have to find your niche.

Answer 4

In any profession working with children you have to be strict. I am a teacher and I am SO mean on the first day or two. You have to balance out meanness with strictness though, so that it will lead to respect and not fear for the whole year.

Answer 5

Remember that being too soft as a teacher can be just as damaging to students as being too hard.  Just because the students might seem to "like" you more than a teacher who is too strict, they actually respect you just as little as they do the other extreme.  Students need structure and they need discipline to learn.  It's GOOD for them.  It's just like parenting - which is worse: the parent who is too strict and never lets his child socialize or the parent who is so lenient that he allows his child to go to parties that are unsupervised with drugs and alcohol?  Both are equally bad for the child in opposite ways.  

I don't think it's too late for a change for you.  You just need to learn new methods.  No matter what you choose to do in your life- be a teacher, priest, or parent - you need to learn this skill.  All are "teaching professions" in a way and you need to be able to find the middle ground.  You can do it, just keep working on it.  :)

Answer 6

The question you should ask yourself is- am I happy being a teacher?  If your answer is yes, then you definately shouldn't give up.  Just because your soft doesn't mean that you can't be a good teacher.  I think you should be less hard on yourself and have more confidence.  When you start to have more confidence, you'll notice a change in the way your students behave towards you.  You just started your career- of course you're going to feel unsure about a lot of things. Give it time.  What we need more of today are caring teachers, and to me it sounds as if you are one of those people.

Answer 7

I'm not sure if I understand what you mean by "soft as a teacher" but I'm assuming you mean you aren't strict enough (or something to that affect). My answer depends on what grades you plan on teaching, if it's middle or high school than maybe you should look into being an elementary school teacher instead. However, if you just genuinely feel that teaching isn't right for you, then yes you should move on.

But I don't know, priesthood sounds extreme. Unless you are an extremely devout catholic and enjoy celibacy.

You want to help people and be yourself.... Do you think counseling or social work may be right for you? Many who consider teaching also considering counseling and/or social work. I actually have about 3 friends currently trying to decide between teaching, counseling, or social work. Another great option, in an ever-growing field, is nursing.