I know that i was adopted, but none of my adoptive family has told me that i was...?

Question

I just know that i am coz i dont look like them, i look like im half white and half filipino, and my siblings are all full. I dont know what to do, i dont really know if i should ask questions or what, they raised me really well and loved me as if i was their own...

Answer 1

looks can be deceiving when you are trying to figure out on your own weather or not you are adopted,. If I didn't all ready know that I was adopted than I may never have questioned the fact that I was adopted,. I don't necessarily look like my parents,. but I resemble there children,. I was adopted when I was 5 w/ two sisters,. It was tragic and it still affects me today,. Its difficult to get involved,. when you have so much going on in your life individually to redirect your life to search for someone and or something you don't even know wants to be found,. I think in my own experience,. I'm still not ready to build that bridge,. its to d**n confusing,. with mixed emotions swirling your head and all these answers you want might not be what you are looking for,. you start to set expectations,. of this complete stranger and yourself,. I have met both my biological parents,. and not really sure what I feel,. "numb" maybe is my best way to describe it,. because your not sure how the other halves are going to react " your biological and or the family you call your own" let alone yourself,. you could be stepping on peoples toes or stubbing your own along the way,.....I went in support for my younger sister who was ready to take a step in that direction,.. the difference is that i really wasn't,. she was to young to remember so she didn't have any recollection of any experiences,.. were as I do,... the best way to describe it into comparison is when you have a crush on someone you met or were introduced to,.. you get the butterflies,. and you cant breach your head because you cant stop thinking about this person,. and your friends tell you hes cute,. so your know more interested and know you go out on a double date so things are a little more relaxed and or comfortable,. you put on your best outfit and your hairs all done up,. your fit to be tied,. but you never stopped to think about this person and what they are looking for and or what they like or what they are attracted to,. he might like his girls to be comfortable casual jeans and a hoodie type girl and here your dressed up for the prom,. even though he might be attracted to you that may have shut the door immediately,. know your frantic those butterflies turned into bees and your not sure what you did wrong,... basically what im saying is don't set standards or expectations,. enjoy your life and those you surround yourself with,.. and ask those people for guidance because they know the real you more than you know the real you,.. be prepared with questions,. not just over exaggerated feelings,. questions "small talk" is the best way for all parties to be involved with out the looming pressure of pointing the finger at someone and looking to find someone to blame,. when you came into this world someone loved you but new they couldn't provide the world to you,. and then someone that was willing to express that love and guide you in the direction to experience the world picked you up and will never let you go,....fallow your heart because its there to guide you,. good luck

Answer 2

You just need to ask them, perhaps you are not adopted but have a different father then your siblings.  Maybe your mother cheated on her husband and you were a result and they decided to just sweep this bad time in their marriage under the rug.

I suppose you could take a dna test, get a hair from your mother and father.

Answer 3

You may be adopted and you may not, looking or not looking like them is no way to tell, I would ask them calmly and quietly and not accusatory

Answer 4

Recessive genes do crazy things. Did you see those fraternal twins on tv one looked black, one looked white they were both biracial. If you really think you are adopted ask your parents about it.

Answer 5

Just because you dont look like them is no reason to suspect adoption. Now if you were black and parents were white  i would be suspicious but you are as old as you are now and have never even heard a word about adoption or been told about it, chances are it is not true. If you are in doubt how ever just talk to them and ask them to explain why you look different.

Answer 6

just ask them, if you are wrong, there are other options,  good luck sweetie!

Answer 7

If you're not comfortable asking your parents the question.  Why don't you just save up $500 or so and get a sample of your blood and your sibling's blood/hair sample.  Then have it DNA tested.

Some families who want to confirm the origin of their babies do this today.

Not only will you avoid any embarrasment, but you'll know the truth.

Good luck!

Answer 8

I am adopted and half puerto rican and half Italian, so I was just a tad darker to.  You have the right to know, if they know, what you heritage is.  There are many health issues that go with race, so it is needed.  I am RHO- and I had to take many precautions before having children.  Lot's of things could happen!  Just ask because you wonder why, not because they are bad parents.

Answer 9

Hi Lg,

You have every right to know if you are adopted!

Here are some ways to help you determine if you may have been adopted, and also some information on birth certificates. First off, ask your parents. Go by not only what they tell you, but also their body language and your gut instincts. Do you resemble anyone on either side of your family? Do you share any talents, interests, and medical conditions with them?

If you think you may have been adopted, look at the birth certificate you do have. Is it missing vital pieces of information on it? Adoptee's amended birth certificates are usually missing everything except child's name, date of birth, & adopted parent's names and their dates of births. Your weight/height will not be on it, the hospital and doctor are often omitted. Signatures are frequently typed in where they should be signed. You will notice on there that there is a date that it was filed. Usually that date will be only a few days after your actual date of birth if you are not adopted. If you are adopted, that date can be months or even years later than when you were actually born.

That is not a foolproof way to know, but it is a very good indication since it takes time to finalize the adoption. The only way to know for sure would be DNA testing. There are some other simple genetic indicators that can exclude parentage but not determine it, for example, 2 blue-eyed parents can never have a brown-eyed child. Different blood types can only produce certain other blood types.

Other clues: It's likely there will be other, older family members in the adoptive family who know of the adoption, or longtime family friends. Even if they do not give you the facts, you might be able to gage something is up by any unusual reactions to your request for information. Are there any pictures that exist of you during birth or right after birth? Have you ever asked your mother to tell you the story of the day you were born? Most mothers would be delighted to talk about what they were doing before they went into labor, how long labor lasted, regular birth or c-section, what your weight and height were at birth, how long the 2 of you stayed in the hospital, who your doctor was, which hospital, etc. Do you have a baby book that details your mother's pregnancy and your childhood? Does it contain your hospital bracelet or baby footprint? Do you know if your mother had a baby shower? Were you a breastfed baby? Ask her if she craved any specific foods when she was pregnant with you. Ask her if she gained a lot of weight with you. Are there any pictures of her pregnant with you? Do your siblings remember you being born or is there proof of that? Did they have you baptized? Do you know when and where? Any of these questions individually might not mean much; together it could paint a different picture.

It's possible you could request information pertaining to an adoption decree from your state office of vital statistics. Even though they will likely not give you identifying information, they may indicate that the records exist if you approach it as assuming that they do have it.

Another thing you could do is register with International Soundex Reunion Registry. (link below) It's a free, well known & worldwide registry. You enter in the details of your birth, and if it a match comes up with any natural relatives separated through adoption, you will both be notified. I've used that and I know it works, if the other person is also registered.

I hope that some of these ideas will help you get to the bottom of this. Deceiving people about adoption is wrong. Learning that one is a late-discovery adoptee is quite a shock! If that turns out to be the case, there is support out there for you or anyone else who thinks they may have been a victim of a secret adoption. Good luck to you.

julie j

reunited adoptee

Answer 10

This story has been on here a few times but i will post it again. i am Irish, English and Scotch. My 2 boys are half Italian. I have turkey white skin, they have olive skin. I have blue eyes, one has brown the other has hazle. I have blond hair (out of a box but still with in the shade it used to be) and my boys have dark brown hair. My husband now, is Hispanic and Native American. Everyone thinks these boys are his and I am the step parent, especially in the summer when they are all so dark that I glow standing next to them. These are my kids. I carried them, and they look nothing like me.

Answer 11

plz do forget that they are not ur parents just look at me i also d'nt have my own child and i am aslo planning to adopt a child , dear when we adopt a child we adopt him by our mind & soul but aftersome time the child ask that he is not our baby than dear its really very heartbreaking for parents also  so accept ur parents who have given you a new life  and also thanks to god who gave you a opportunity  to have a life along with happiness

Answer 12

Check the 'filing date' on your birth certificate.  Much of a delay between the date of birth and the date of filing should be  a red flag to adoption.

I hope you find the truth.  Secrets in families suck

Answer 13

if u were adopted i think ur parents shoudve told you by now, thats kinda mean

Answer 14

Just ask them straight out. If they won't say anything, demand to look at your birth certificate. Good luck, hun :)

Answer 15

I have a class mate who looks like he may be oriental because of the way his eyes are made.  But he is not.   Sometimes, children have a mixture of features from both parents and that mixture makes them look different from both parents.  I am not saying that you are or are not adopted but just trying to give you an explaination for not looking like the family.  Everyone else may just look like mother or father.   Instead of asking if you are adopted, why not just say that something has really been worrying you and you want to know why you don't look like your other siblings.  Maybe you can look at some baby pictures and see a resemblance between you and your siblings.  Sometimes babies change dramatically every few years and may end up looking so much different by the time they are grown.  Ask !!!! Stop speculating.

Answer 16

Apply for your birth certificate. If you look at it closely, you'll be able to tell if its an amended birth certificate ( one that adoptees get ) or if its a real birth certificate.

You can also apply for non id through your state. click here to find out your state laws: http://www.adopteerights.net and click on searching :)