I left him, now he hates me?

Question

Was I crazy/wrong to leave him? I really don't think so?

I left my husband because he was cheating with his ex. He now doesn't want to speak to me or his kids (he says this on the phone and I can hear his kids in the background - the kids he has with his ex). I think he is definitely back with his ex, but, I don't care about that. What I care about is that fact that I went through h**l with both him and his ex for years, trying to make him keep contact with her kids, pay support, get visitation, etc. and now he cuts my kids off? WTF? I'm pissed and think about killing him and her on a regular basis. That's why I left, the creeping around was just becoming blatant and he felt I should just deal with it. Help, advice...something please. Now, he's telling me I'm the one who's crazy.

51 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer.

Additional Details

36 minutes ago

Yes, these are his children, I am also pregnant with his child and he says he doesn't want to see the new baby either because I left him.

I just got so fed up one day that I took my kids and nothing else and went to stay with my best friend. I decided to stay gone, found a place and have been gone since.

He was very verbally abusive, physically to my child once and talked badly about me to his ex's when convenient. He even cursed me in front of his kids. I just got tired and realized he wasn't going to change (3 years later albeit). I was just so tired of his c**p. My kid never wanted to be alone with him anymore, he stopped helping around the house, wasn't working, but, wouldn't watch our baby for 6 hours so I could continue working. He would also lie, tell me he was going one place and when I'd call, he'd be at his ex's house (at 10pm at night, claiming to be visiting his kids).

Did I do something so wrong that he can cut my kids off?

21 hours ago

Answer 1

You did absolutely nothing wrong.  Go directly and get separation papers signed, then go straight to your local child support enforcement office and fix his ***!  Don't stress about him leaving and not wanting to see the kids.  There will be someone wonderful in your future that will love you and your kids unconditionally and the kids won't even miss their real father...By state laws, your husband HAS to pay child support for his kids.  Take what you can get, and get a lawyer to draw up custody papers for you.  My custody papers say that my kid is MINE and she only goes to see her dad when I say it's okay.  Good luck, honey!

Answer 2

I am going to simply state this:

  NO!  You did the right thing.  You took your children out of a abusive, controlling, unloyal relationship.  If he cared two cents about his kids before you left him, he would not have chose to cheat.

  By him not talking to you or the kids now, he feels he will control the situation.  Let him be, and move on.  He was not healthy for the children anyways.   If he changes his mind and wants visitation with the kids, tell him you will meet him in court to let a judge decide whats healthy.

Answer 3

Hi i left my partner as he couldnt commit to me and our 18 month daughter always wanting to go out! But we got back together 6 days later and then on sunday i found him in my bed with some woman and now he wants to see his daughter! sating he hates me and im a loon wel thats a cheek! He was also violent to me when she was around and sent me threating messages, If i did let him see our daughter id be freeting all day as he has strange woman in his house takes drugs! i now have my own place but he is refusing to give me any of our things as when i left i only got clothes! Men take the p**s and dont deserve to be fathers at all when they act like this!  

Answer 4

He's a jerk.  You did the right thing.  Now it's time for you to call a lawyer and make sure he pays child support for his children with you.  

Answer 5

WOW talk about a BOATLOAD of c**p.You did what you had to do as painful as it was and still is,go on with your life,rebuild it for you and your children,LEAVE HIM ALONE is best for you and you kids,he is GARBAGE.No offense but you might consider counseling for you and your kids and get DIVORCED FAST...Find ways to get rid of this stress so you can focus on healing you and your kids..GOOD Luck

Answer 6

You did nothing wrong.  Consider yourself fortunate to be rid of him.  Yes, it's unfair to you and your kids that he won't step up and be a man for them, but if that's the way it is they're better off without him too.

Answer 7

You just made a very fine decision, do not blame yourself for any reason.You just get rid of a jerk you should be proud of yourself,he wasn't helping you anyway so why not trash him, just have him pay you child support that's it.