I live in FEAR!!!?

Question

I have a two year old and one on the way. I guess you can say I'm a self proclaimed worry wart, but I'm terrified someone is going to kidnap my daughter or she's going to get mistreated at school. I'm always scared something bad is going to happen to her. Any advice?

Answer 1

i have this fear that some one is goin to break in my home do something to me and take my son ......i have no idea why i know this doesnt help you and i always fear that when hes older noones goin to like him and he will always be by himself <3

Answer 2

Relax. You are a mother, so of course you are going to worry but don't let it rule your life. You can't always 100 percent protect your children but you can teach them to stand up for themselves, as for the kidnapping part I think tht is every mom' biggest fear.

Answer 3

You're a parent, that's what we are meant to do!

It sounds like you don't trust the daycare. Try spending a day at the daycare just watching over. That might make you feel a little better. The kidnapping part, all you really can do is just keep your eye on her ALL the time!

Good luck and you are just doing your job!

Answer 4

I have the same fears, its just our motherly instincts. We simply want to protect our children. Just concentrate on the positive in time your thought process will change. How else can you enjoy life having these fears, right? :)

Answer 5

Don't act paranoid.  You can be paranoid, but don't let her think you're acting paranoid.  Otherwise, she won't trust people when she needs help the most.

Do you have close friends or relatives near your home?  If so, try asking your friend if you can take your daughter to his/her home.  Be sure to offer to reciprocate as needed.  It probably wouldn't hurt to ask your local sheriff to check his/her background.  (It sounds like paranoia, but the stats disagree.)

The way you're going now, you won't let her do anything later in life.  This could cause her to feel like you're a tyrant, which will almost certainly lead to such behavioral problems as sexual overactivity, aggression, violent thoughts/acts, etc.  You need to remind her often that you love her, but you also need to give her the tools she needs to defend herself as needed.  (Obviously, you shouldn't give her a gun tomorrow, but you get the idea.)

Another idea that seems absurd is to talk to a veterinarian in your daughter's absence about getting her microchipped with GPS tracking.  If she gets kidnapped (or worse), that may help police.  If you do that, don't use the tracking device unless you'd also be willing to call 911.  That goes back to tyranny/loss of freedom, which is not her fault.

Answer 6

Ask the administors at your daughter's school about their emergency plan.  Ask them what protocols they have in place for visitors in the school, what doors are locked, who watches them at recess, etc.  As far as being mistreated, talk to your daughter and the teacher.  Make it understood that you want to be in close communication with the teacher.

Answer 7

It just goes along with being a mother.  Mothers who are protective of their children do so because they worry something is going to happen.  Mine is really wierd.  Whenever we're in a store, I'm afraid someone is going to try to grab my oldest daughter (she's 10) and while I'm trying to help her an accomplice will take my little one (she's 3).  It's so unlikely something like this will ever happen, but it doesn't stop the fear.  Oh, and I won't pump gas if my kids are in the car because of static electricity.

Answer 8

From one worry wart to another... this fear will pass as they age, but you will likely pick up another one in it's place..

("what if she has no friends at school...what if she finds bad friends and smokes drugs....etc.)

If is real anxiety, see a doctor, there is no shame in getting help.

It is a natural fear, however, as this time in your life your whole world revolves around caring for them and keeping them safe.

It is ok to have a bit of fear.  It makes us use car seats, check toys for small parts, and keep the kids away from Old Weird Drunk Uncle Bob.

If the fear is consuming, however, you will be a better Mom, wife, employee, etc. if you get some help.

Good luck.

Answer 9

You sound like most mothers. Just keep an eye on them and if something happens when they are at school, don't be embarrassed or anything about going to check on them. Maybe you could volunteer as one of the class parents, you know like taking them on field trips and helping plan the holiday parties and stuff. It'll be okay.

Answer 10

We all have fears for our children after all its our job to protect them. The only advice I can give you is that you need to learn to relax, to stop thinking of the bad things and to talk to your children about things in a way not to scare them. These talks will be beneficial to your children as they get older. Just enjoy this time with them for it goes so fast.

Answer 11

you're a mother...perfectly normal

Answer 12

THERAPY

Answer 13

Advice? Relax. Don't let fear control you or your children. If we let ourselves be consumed by fear, then we either live cowering each day or restrict ourselves to the point that life isn't worth living. Be watchful over her, but not to the point that you're invading her space or being overprotective. GPS cell phones, tracking sneakers, and implanting microchips in or on children is NOT the way to go. Things like those simply underscores a lack of trust (critical in any relationship), is a huge invasion of privacy, or is otherwise a gross unethical misuse of technology.

Your daughter will look up to you, and you should always be there for her and know what to do. It wouldn't help if you're the one worrying, would it? Have faith in her. Be sure she knows her safety rules. Teach her about stranger safety, and safety if she walks to and from school. She should always follow the same route everyday, and never go with any other adult. If you're that worried, talk with other parents in the neighborhood (particularly the parents of kids in your daughter's class) to arrange that your daughter walks to and home from school in a group or a carpool arrangement.

Teach about stranger safety, but don't frighten her to the extent she would avoid people altogether. Most people wouldn't kidnap or harm your daughter. Most people might actually be of help if she's in trouble. If she gets lost, she should always go to a woman for help first(sounds kind of sexist, but I didn't invent that rule to live by), or someone of authority such as a store clerk or police officer. But even if a stranger offers help, be sure she knows not to follow him/her anywhere until help comes.

If she gets mistreated at school, then she should know that she can always come to you with her problems. It's your responsibility to either teach her how to avoid people who bully her, try to resolve differences, or that you see to it personally that it's stopped by talking to her teacher or principal. As for making friends, have confidence. If not, provide her with the encouragement and confidence she needs.

With these in mind, you can breathe easier knowing your daughter has the smarts.