I lived a g*y men for10 years.i do not want to have s*x with men anymore.how do i get out? ?

Question

three months ago i made a decision to break up with that man because i am not at peace with myself. i feel that this is wrong and i should have been done everything possible to get out way sooner.i have lived with social anxiety since i had realized that i might have feeling for same s*x. i can not even talk to a man without showing signs of attraction(even if the person is 100 years old). i deeply regret everything i did; now i want out of this life. i have not dated a woman for over 8 years. i want to date women but the feelings are not there like they were before. i need to get back to my roots and i don't know what to do. i feel like the only way out is death.

please help me.........

Answer 1

Based on what you've told us, your reality is that you are attracted to MEN but not to WOMEN. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with that, its just what's true about you.  The problem is, you've accepted other peoples' negative judgments about homosexuallity as being wrong and bad -- simply because "they" say so -- rather than listening to the voice of your own experience of what's true for YOU. That's what's causing your suffering. Anytime you resist or refuse to accept what IS in the Here and Now, you create suffering and pain for yourself and for the people around you.

You may want to date women but if the feelings aren't there, you'll only be lying to and hurting any poor woman unfortunate enough to get mixed up in a dating relationship with you.

You don't need to "get back to your roots". You're already there!  The only way to find peace with yourself is to surrender to the truth of who you are and make peace with your homosexuality.  You can give up s*x with men and live celibate for the rest of your life if you don't want to act on your attractions to men anymore, but those feelings won't go away so you MUST learn to stop punishing yourself for them.

Answer 2

d**n I didn't know feelings like this exsist. I'm not trying to be funny or insensative, but if you had anxiety issues about your sexuality before you indulged, then why let your urges get the best of you? Now your living through shame and regret.

Please don't feel ashamed about who you are and what turns you on. There are so many far worst issues that exsist- this should not be as dramatic as your making it out to be.

I suggest you should leave men and women alone, for awhile. Get your self together; do something totally frivalous and vain, just to put a smile on your face.

xoxo, Be good and be safe!

Answer 3

Death is the coward's way out. Nothing, absolutely nothing is worth taking your own life. Your despair is to the facts you need to find inner peace. If you are not being a "g*y" man, and feel it wrong, then do what you feel will make you happiest. Date whomever you feel the most comfortable with be it man or woman, but first take care of the demons you are fighting with. Get help with a therapist. Talk it out and put it to rest, but don't think about taking your life.  

Answer 4

I am not going to try to tell you what I think you know:  Orientation is not a choice.

But what I am going to say is:

Seek medical attention immediately.

Even if you're being dramatic, voicing a desire to die is a sign of serious depression, which can be treated.

Answer 5

I think its more of having an issue of accepting yourself. I don't think death is the answer, all it is will be acceptance on your part. Also I don't think dating women would make it any better as the feelings of being attracted to men will always be there.

Answer 6

Get out of what? No one is holding you hostage anywhere. You are your own worse enemy. It sounds like you hate yourself and you need to learn acceptance and forgiveness for yourself.