I lost my best friend today?

Question

one of my best friends died today. she was actually my first friend ever. she had AML, a form of leukemia. i just talked to her yesterday and she said she was feeling better. i dont understand. she told us when she was diagnosed not to feel sad for her. or cry for her. she was such a strong person. she made everyday the best ever and was always smiling. well, now i cant help but cry and be sad for her. the thing is i dont know if im sad for her or being selfish and crying for myself. i dont know how im gonna move on. i dont know how im gonna make it without her. we had so many plans about our futures. we were gonna finish high school, go to college together, marry brothers and be family for the rest of our lives. our kids were gonna be best friends. now i have to live my life without her in it. i dont know how to do that. she's been in my life since we were 4. thats 10 years. i cried so much today that my eyes are stinging. i dont wanna cry anymore but i cant stop. im sorry.

Answer 1

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It is always painful to lose someone but even more so when you have a history such as you and your friend did. I know you are going through a rough time right now (My brother was killed when he was 12 years old and my father passed away 10 years ago). I would strongly recommend that you find an adult that you can confide in on a regular basis. Sometimes parents don't understand exactly what you are going through so a trained professional/counselor would best be able to help you.

I know that it seems impossible that you get through each day but you need to take them one day at a time. It's okay to cry and be mad because life just isn't fair all the time. There is no length of time that you will grieve and cry but it is okay for you to do so whenever you feel like it. Just remember that she is no longer in pain.

Keep all your dreams and her memory alive by living the best life you can. She will be very proud of you. I know it seems like it is impossible right now but you can do it.

I wish you all my best through your time of grief.

Answer 2

its ok to cry and its ok to feel bad (for urself and ur friend). i dont think ur being selfish by crying for urself. i mean, she's not in ur life anymore and that's upsetting. but if you are always crying and are always gonna be depressed about ur lose, ur not gonna be able to make new friends. they may not be the same as ur first friend, but at least u will have someone to take ur mind off of her. slowly but surely u will get over it.

recently, a friend of mine's friend died (he was hit by a drunk driver at 7:00 pm), and she was horrified. her and a bunch or her friends made t-shirts with his face and name on it. they also made wrist-bands and sold them to people and i think that they gave the money to an against-drunk-driving charity. she is still healing, but its getting better every day, so im sure u will feel better soon.

Also, when a friend of mine was hit by a car on the way to school and hospitalized, people, again, made wrist bands for him and sold them and gave the money to his mom to help pay for the hospital bill. He did not die, but it was still awful having him in the hospital.

Maybe u could make wristbands and give the profits to hospitals and stuff so that they can research more about AML.

Answer 3

I know what that feels like... it's ok to cry. just remember that you will meet a new best friend. one that won't replace her, but will help you along with your life. she will sympathize for you, and you don't have to worry, you are not being selfish. you should never feel that way  when something like this happens. you will be ok.  but you can cry. it's ok. also, think about how you can help her. she is gone now, but you can work to help people with ASL. imagine how many people like you would not have to feel this way, if it was cured! Put this tragedy to work. And it is ok to cry.

Answer 4

No words candescribe what your going through.  Its hard when you lose someone. Just remeber, you will always have someone their with you to talk things out (family and other close friends).  Sorry for your loss, their will be better days to come. All the best and take care.

Answer 5

that is so Sad....................

Answer 6

I'm so sorry for your loss......

Answer 7

i'm so sorry for your loss. i lost a friend last year too, and i know how hard it could be on you.

the best thing to do is talk. talk to anyone you could- a pet, parents, an aunt/uncle, cousin, other friends, anyone. it will make you feel so much better. if you don't have anyone, you could always e-mail me.

think about the good times. it took me such a long time to do this, but it really helped a lot. it will move you along in the grieving process a lot.

visit her family. i never got the chance to do this because i was close with the person through school, and i never got to meet their family. since you guys were best friends, though, i'm sure you know her family. it will make you feel like you're not alone.

listen to your friend. she doesn't want you to be sad. she's probably looking down on you right now and doesn't want you to cry. she wants you to remember the good times.

go to the funeral. this is still something that haunts me everyday. the day of my friend's funeral, there was a huge snowstorm, and the roads were so bad, i just couldn't go. i still regret that everyday of my life.

pray. praying got me through so much during those hard times. i would talk to my friend and say how i angry i was at him for killing himself and how much i missed him. it got me through a lot of hard times.

listen to music. music was my #1 support system after my friend passed away. my favorite song was "one sweet day" by mariah carey and boyz II men. some others were:

"home" by daughtry

"look after you" by the fray

"your guardian angel" by red jumpsuit apparatus

"far away" by nickelback

i'm sure i could think of more if you want, just e-mail me.

have a memorial for her. i was obsessed with my friend who passed away for awhile, and i had the hugest crush on him. one day, he told me his favorite animal was a kangaroo. so, from then on, he was my kangaroo. as of now, i have a roo necklace and a shelf that i have two kangaroos on with his picture next to them.

don't worry about moving on. it will come naturally. you will feel a little better each and everyday. it is going to take lots of time, i know this for a fact, but it will come.

don't worry about forgetting her. this was everyone's #1 fear that i talked to after my friend passed away. you're not going to forget her- i promise. 1 1/2 years later i still think about my friend each and everyday.

like i have said before, if you need to talk, please e-mail me. feel better soon.

Answer 8

I am very sorry for your loss knowing you can lose someone you love early doesn't make it any easier at all and since she has only passed away yesterday I'm sure it will take you a while to deal with just be greatful that you had your life in lightened by such a wonderful person and don't forget to talk to her as well as she will come and see you i wish you all the best.

Answer 9

I'm so sorry, I just lost a nephew 2 weeks ago. It doesn't make sense, and there aren't really any words that can make you feel better.

Just realize that she doesn't have to suffer anymore, and live your life as full as you can as a great memorial to her and her short life.

Answer 10

i know how u feel. well not really, but pretty close to it.

my brother's best freind died in a car crash a few years ago, and i really liked him, like i was gunna marrie him.

Answer 11

I am so sorry for your loss and don't feel bad about posting this on Y!A. If writing this helped you feel better in any way, then that's wonderful. I can't imagine losing my best friend, and I can't say that I fully understand what you're going through. Sometimes, you just have to cry and that's okay. I'm sure that you have been told that your friend is in a better place and that she is not suffering any more, and I know that's true. You just have to find some comfort in knowing that. She is always going to be with you. My grandfather passed away (which I know isn't quite the same as losing your best friend) and it helped me to listen to the song Homesick by Mercyme . Just remember that she's in Heaven watching over you, and that God is closest to the broken hearted. I wish you the best during this time.

Answer 12

I went through the same thing : [

It was extremely hard for me, especially since she was my BFF! I had to keep thinking that she was in a better place and now she is my guardian angel...

Answer 13

well my freshman a lost my grandmother to be honest with u it was one of the haredst things happened to me.....It was hard..i cryed.he first day......but i cried more @ the furnal............ Just remeber this your friend was in pain due to her Diease now shes not feeling pain.. Shes in heaven watching over u

Answer 14

Im so sorry. When we lose someone special its always hard. I don't think you are being selfish for crying. You need to mourn your the loss of a dear friend. Thats normal. You never have to forget about her, but know that she's okay now. Remember the good times you two shared together, thats what she wants you to do. Maybe make a scrapbook. It's okay to cry, and its normal. You will get to a point where you wont cry as much and thats okay too. It does not mean you miss her any less. Maybe do something to honour her memory, like plant a tree or sumthing. Do something that means a lot to you and signifies your relationship with her.

Losing someone very special is never easy, and you don't have to feel bad for getting upset. You will come to a point where you can look back and be happy for the memories you shared with her. Best wishes <3

Answer 15

i'm very sorry for you having to deal with this. just remember all the good times you guys had and that she's in a better place.

Answer 16

try to get some rest. I'll bet you have a headache from crying so much take some medicine. if your not tired take a walk. or or or a bubble bath idk i just want to help. but just know that dying is just the start of a new beginning she is much happier now. free from pain. but when your crying it makes her sad, she wants you to know she is happy. i lost my grandma a month ago and she was like a very close best friend. kind of funny she had cancer too. just know she is your guardian angel now.

Answer 17

Honey I get it. My little sister is 5 and has ALL, also a form of leukimia. I'm not going to say you'll be fine.

You won't be for a long time.

Think about it this way, she was ALIVE and happy, and HERSELF for 14 years! You KNEW her for 10 YEARS!!! she died on one day. Don't let that one day overshadow those ten years!

And if you forgot to tell her something, don't worry. the second she died she knew everything she needed to!

Enjoy the memories, try to dwell on the good of her, not that bad of what happened.

If you need to talk, email me

[e-mail] or IM me

Answer 18

shes bettter off now, she doesnt have to suffer through the pain, dont worry she will be alright. :)

Answer 19

I'm so sorry. You expressed your feelings very well here and I'm so sorry for your loss! I know time heals wounds, but what you need to do now is learn to cope. You said you don't want to talk to your parents...you can email me if you want to talk, anytime, and I'll try to help the best I can.

   For now try to cope, cry if you need to, try reading a favorite book or listening to music. It helps a lot to be outside, take a walk and don't isolate yourself, honey! You'll get through this, just give yourself some time. And remember, just because she passed away doesn't mean she can't be in your thoughts and there is a better life after this, your friend will never forget you =)

Answer 20

i understand how you feel

about a 2monthes ago my best friend moved all the way across the country to texas. we had sooo many plans for starting high school together and college and living next store and keeping all of those promises. about 1 month later she called me to say that she had a brain tumor and only had 3 weeks left to live.  my oth. best friend (katie) and i flew down there so we could spend the rest of the time with her.  it was really hard to say goodbye. i have cried myself to sleep everyday since.  it has been almost a week and i am still in texas visiting her every day at her....grave.  it was the hardest thing in my whole life to be there to watch her go. i have known her since i was almost 1, and i cant beleive that i barely had 14 years of my life with her in it.  i feel selfish to but i cant help it.  i think we just have to take time to recover, but never forget them.

Answer 21

dont worry if this isn't a question..

i know how u feel.

hunni, email me: [e-mail]

we are te same age and i have gone through exacly what u r going through..

email me to talk more.

u'll feel better..

Good Luck, Stay Strong, and dont forget to Smile♥

Answer 22

I'm sooo sorry. Just remeber all the fun times you had with her. Don't cry for her because she's not in pain or tired she's  happy now. it's ok to cry because u miss her and i know it seems unfair. my baby sister died 2 years ago. she only lived for 4 days but i only knew her for 2. our losses r completely different so i can not say i know how u feel but i do know how it feels to lose someone u wanted to do soo many things with. i'm 14 too. if u want to talk u can e-mail me at [e-mail]

i'm very truly sorry for ur loss.

Answer 23

It's okay to be sad. It sounds like you girls were very close. So sorry for your loss.

Answer 24

we just buried my lil cousin today i know ur pain. im soo sorry

Answer 25

Aww, I'm so sorry for your loss. If you want to talk, you can email me at: [e-mail].

Im almost 14 too...so we can talk.

Answer 26

im so sorry you have to go thru that...

Answer 27

i'm sorry for your loss

Answer 28

I am so sorry !

You can talk to me if you want! IM or E-mail me it doesn't matter.

I hope your day gets better

Answer 29

Don't feel sorry about posting this on Yahoo Answers...you are going through something very terrible and sad...you do what you need to do in order to feel some comfort...if others have a problem with it, then they can just stuff it up their...well...I think you get what I mean.

There is absolutely nothing else that I can say except to stay strong and cry when you feel that you need to...don't ever try to stop yourself from crying because it will only hurt more later on....just stay strong and talk with people.

Answer 30

scream, cry, yell really loud ..throw things..... get it all out..

then do all the things you and her were gonna do together, but now you do them for her...