I lost my friends through divorce, should I try and get them back???

Question

Basically I had a bad relationship with my husband, he used to blame me for everything - we had a break in and he said it was my fault, then I went off him sexually and he still would do things to me. I got pregnant, he told me what a bad mother I would be, I should get an abortion, made me feel really low. I have been in abusive relationships before so it made it extra bad this time.

We are divorced now! but my problem is he has been saying things about me to my friends. Like I cheated on him, I betrayed him and they stopped talking to me a year or so ago. Today I was feeling sad about this and I was thinking about calling them and explaining to them (they already know partly what he is like) but then should I do that considering they took his side in the first place???

They still get on with me, but they think I should go back to him. Should I try and be friends with them??

Answer 1

From a bloke to a lady, any friends who walk away during a divorce are not friends and do not deserve your attention.

They will come out that they did not want to choose between either of you because it felt bad for them if they saw your ex-partner.

My suggestion and this is what I done, I went and took up a hobby, met new friends, did not talk too much about my divorce and got on with my life which was worth a lot more to me, especially after meeting someone after 7 years and I can tell you, I am happy at least.

Answer 2

no, they dont sound like real friends so their not worth the hassle, find new decent friends

Answer 3

No don't.  People like this aren't worth wasting your time and energy on.

Answer 4

If they turned there back on you and they did then they are not your friends. If you pick up with someone else then they will do the same again.

Answer 5

If they were your friends and they valued your friendship they would have approached you to hear your side of the story! They had a choice whether to side with him or try to save their friendship with you by asking for your side of the story. They've chosen him.

If they really cared for you they would not push you to go back with him after everything he put you through. It seems they only have his best interests at heart and not yours at all. It also seems that he is using them to try to gain some control over you and it is working.

Please forget about these so called friends and find yourself some new ones. Friends who have no ties to your ex whatsoever.

Answer 6

Real friends would have wanted to hear your side of the story as well. If they didn't make an attempt to call you then they probably chose to side with him in the first place. People only here what they WANT to hear. I have been there as well, once the relationship falls apart it is amazing how fast these people will turn on you. My ex cheated on me for no reason and then played me as the bad guy, she lied about so many things I can't list them all here. All these so called friends, people that I considered family, people that I helped in so many ways above and beyond the normal things friends do for each other, were all too eager to jump on the bandwagon. Now I know how Julius Caesar must have felt.

I would just move on and forget all about those so called friends. In other words, p**s on them.

Of course I must say that the ones who really, really new us well (her brother and her best friend) knew she was full of **** but they still felt they had to chose a side to stay loyal to and unfortunately It wasn't mine.