I lost my mom 6 months ago, everyone says that it gets easier, well it does not get easier,

Question

I think it gets harder as time goes on. Any advice. Please do not state see a counselor, been there, done everything I could, but did not work.

Answer 1

All I can say is I'm sorry for your lost. My mother passed  away last October.  It definitely is not an easy situation to be in.  I know it hurts and will hurt for some time.  However, time heals all wounds.  You may not feel like it does right now, but it will get better.  Some people grieve longer  than others.  I think about my mother all the time, however I / you can not just dwell on the loss all the time.  You have to continue to push forward, and continue to have a full life.  I am not saying forget about your mother by no means.  I am saying that your mother would want you to be happy and have a wonderful, productive life.  Try to surround your self with good friends or family. Maybe this will help you to not dwell on the loss so much.  If you need to cry then cry.  It will help you get it out of your system.  I still cry sometimes and then I dry my tears and keep going.  I'm sure your mother knew you loved her and she loved you.  You have to come to peace with yourself and not get into a depressed mode.  I hope things get better for you.

Answer 2

Loosing someone not so close, you can recover from, but loosing a close one, its much harder to recover from. I have not lost my mom, but I suppose I dont really understand how hard it is, you mom will always be your mom, and nothing in the universe will change it. I bet ur mom is hoping that you are going to move on, I bet it is hard, and everyone understands that you are finding it hard, aslong as you understand that your mom is with your every second, then thats fine, everyone will go through it, and fell how you feel, but the quicker you forget a few things, like the bad times, then the easier it is to recover, although it will take a long time.

Answer 3

I lost a daughter 16 years ago.No it never gets easier.I can promise you this though,as time moves on,the hurt is a little duller and you just have to try to replace the lost things with good memories or positive things.If you long 4 someone to talk with,as a mother would be,then try to find someone who can fill that void 4 you.Not replace your mother,that could never happen,but bein able to confide in others is a natural need.The loss of our daughter actually brought my wife and I so much closer just because we had to share a terrible hurt like no other.It almost destroyed us but in the long run brought us so so much closer together.Your mother is gone,that won't change,but how you accept it will definitely help dull the pain a bit.It's always gonna have some pain in the thought,but you have to look at the good things and not dwell on the loss and pain.Every person deals with loss differently,just take 1 day at a time and try to live your life to it's fullest.Your only hurting yourself more to dwell on it and refuse to live on.

Answer 4

im so sorry to hear about your mom. =( It's probably not going to get any easier, but as time goes on, you learn how to deal with it better, and u get used to it.Also, talk to someone who will listen about the good memories u guys had, that mite help a little. And don't be afraid to cry, thats totally normal, and it's actually good for u to let out ur feeling instead of keeping them bottled up inside. well anyway i hope i helped and mii heart is with u <33

xoxo  

Answer 5

I lost my mom in a car accident 7 years ago.  It doesn't ever get easy.  There are still times I want to talk to her or show her something.   As time goes on, you remember more of the good and forgot the bad. Unfortunately we can't change things.  Good luck to you.

Answer 6

Grief is a very personal experience. When people say it gets easier what they mean is it gets lets significant over time.  When my husband died I counted the hours, days, weeks waiting for it to "get easier"

What eventually happens is you can go longer periods without being completely a wreck and then you may actually feel guilty that you were slightly less grief stricken.

My grandmother has been dead for 33 years and there is not a day that goes by that I don't miss her and wish I could talk to her.

When my husband died I went to group sessions and they were very helpful because you can learn how other people in the same situation deal with their grief.

Answer 7

she was or is your mother, it is never going to get any easier, i think death never does get any easier at all, you just get used to it and eventually, it is further down on your list of things to worry about. but don't think it will get any easier, because it just isn't on the foreground, just go through the grieving process not expecting anything. it sounds harsh, but.....

Answer 8

People who say it gets easier are correct to a point.  But six months is not very long to grieve.  I have not lost my mother but my grandmother who I spent lots of time with and lived with for a while.  She was my world.  I can tell you that six months later it was not easier.  It has been almost 16 years and yes it is easier now but there are still times when all I can do is think about her and ask why isn't she still here.  

There are many steps to grief.  I don't know where you are.  I know I spent a lot of time being angry.  At her, at her doctor, at family and at myself.  The one thing that did help to some extent was information from our local hospice.  They never set a time limit on my grief and I was told everyone grieves differently, everyone grieves for different periods of time.  

I guess truly the only advice I can give you is to grieve on your own terms not what other people tell you is acceptable.  I don't know if you have any contact with hospice but I know they offer a lot of help in our area.  I hope that I have helped a little.  

Answer 9

I have not lost a parent yet and really hope i dont i cant imagine what you are going through my best friend lost his mom when he was little and he thinks about her everyday he wears a necklace to reprasent her and no matter what he knows that his mom loves him and still does and he will never stop loveing her weather she is dead or alive.

Answer 10

I do not think there is any cosmic score board for grief, or, the time that we need to stop griving. Time has an interesting way of decreasing the pain, however, we never forget the people that we love that have passed on. Sending you good thoughts.

Answer 11

a close friend of mine, her mom died when she was 11. she is almost 17 now, and its harder for her i have noticed. she use to talk to me about it, but doesn't any longer. she is doing things now such as drinking a lot, smoking and hanging out with the wrong crowd. she said she doesn't like talking about her problems because she doesn't like "bringing me down". it makes me sad seeing her act like this. she no longer hangs out with me, and hangs out with some other girl who does cocaine and drinks a lot. someone she can party with i guess.

i don't think things get neccesarily "easier", but talking about it with other people, surrounding yourself with others who care about you and who have a positive attitude should help you cope.

i'm really sorry for your loss. it'll always hurt but just know there are other people who care about you and people you can talk to!

<33

Answer 12

Keep doing what you are doing now, share your experience and connect with others. Try to remember the good times and the lessons she got you to learn about living well. If you see someone else in your shoes, try to comfort them.  That is the best way to cope with it. The worst part is not sharing and that will make it harder.