My parents have been divorced for ten years and seven years ago my mother remarried. She and my stepdad are sometimes verbally and physically abusive of me and my brother (who has mild autism and doesn't understand what they're doing is wrong).
On the last day of school, I wrote a story about a girl who was mistreated by her mother which was kind of autobiographical and I gave it to a teacher and I hoped the teacher or the principal would ask me if something was wrong. I felt guilty, I guess, and I didn't want to just tell, because it was hard for me, and I know it's stupid, but I wanted someone to ask. So on the last day of school, the principal asked, but my stepdad was in the office and I got scared and said nothing was wrong. I know that no one can help me if I didn't tell them I needed it, but I WAS SCARED. Later, I wrote the principal a letter so she would understand the situation, but I know I should have told when I had the chance.
When I got home to my mom's house, she freaked out about the story, because apparently the principal (whom I'd actually trusted) had told my mom about it despite me telling her specifically not to do so, and my mom told me to get out and go stay with my dad and never come back and I said I would and I did.
My dad said I could stay with him as long as I needed to, but then my mom said I could stay with my dad but she would keep my brother then. She got Social Services involved and tried to prove I was dangerous to my brother, but they told her to give my brother back to my dad part-time, but when I tried to tell them about the way my mom abused us, they didn't believe me. And now my mom's going to my teachers, especially a teacher whom I had a couple years ago who I have a really special relationship with and saying untrue and terrible things about me, like I threatened their lives and I'm afraid they believe it. My mom can put on the act really well, and if they've believed it for six years, why should they believe me over my mom now? She's gone to the school and gotten me in trouble before for things I didn't do and the school believed her!
My dad is trying to fight for legal custody of me, but my mom is fighting back, and even though I know I shouldn't, I do miss her. I haven't seen her for two months and she has the ability to sometimes be a really great person, even though she's often not. I don't want to try and patch things up with her either, because I notice a recurring pattern with her: we'll get along great for about a month and then she snaps. Sometimes it's something I did or my brother did or something at work, but then she hurts us, physically and emotionally. It scares me to get up every morning not knowing whether she'll be Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. And what's scarier: either she's a brilliant liar or she actually doesn't remember she ever hurt us!!! She says she never did, and when I give specifics she;ll pick through each one and make it out to be a lie. If she actually doesn't remember hurting us, I'm scared it's a personality disorder or something like bipolar or split personality, which actually scares me more. I can't go back because I don't feel safe, but she's my mother and I love her and I miss her! What can I do?
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