I love him....i no its wrong! advice!?

Question

ok when i was a baby i was adopted...(in some respects im really happy i was cos, if i wasnt i wouldnt have met him, but cos i was i never have a chance with him!!).

anyway...hes my cousin now, and hes so nice to me and somtimes the way he looks at me and treets me the same as my ex did! and i've had feelings for him in a way thats not normal for cousins to have for 2 yrs......i was just wondering is this really wrong....should i talk to him about this?

no where not actually blood related and yep i live in the uk!

also im 16 and hes 19

Answer 1

It's not wrong, it's natural.

Bottling it in is not going to help you. Could you talk to your adopted mom about your feelings and ask her advice?

Answer 2

love is love, i say go for it. You're not blood related and that is why people are against "cousins" dating because of the stigma surrounding genetic defects on children born from blood related relatives.

Answer 3

I do not think it is wrong the heart wants what the heart wants but i do agree with everyone who says the family might not be so enthused.  Talk to a counselor or your mother or a trusted family member if you feel comfortable with that.

I hope everything works out.

And its not illegal your not blood related.

Answer 4

hey thats not wrong still legal if blood cousins. you go girl. just remember other members of the family might not be so pleased oh yeah and think of the problems if you fall out/get divorced etc/

Answer 5

Even if you were blood related, you can still marry your cousin. Thats legal! And because you are not blood related, that is very legal!

It would be the family fall out that surrounds your relationship that would be your biggest issue

:o)

Answer 6

No it's not wrong. I was in the same suitation once, people do think it a little strange but it is fine, you are able and allowed by law to date/marry a cousin.

As with regard to speaking to him about it, just try and make sure he feels the same way if you can first, otherwise you may ruin everything.

I hope it works out for you.

Answer 7

It's legal, but it's just kind of creepy. If you are wondering if it is wrong, then you know that it isn't right.

Answer 8

well seeing as a family would hopefully treat an adopted child as if they were theyr biological child then it could be seen as wrong...maybe by law im not sure. but i dont seen why you two dating should be a problem. as you said your not blood related in any way! so i would find out if he likes you back and take it from there :)

Answer 9

When you say he's your cousin, it really depends on how close a cousin.  So for example, it would be wrong if say he were your Auntie's son, which would make him a first cousin.  However, if he's your Auntie's son/daughter's child, that would make him a second cousin.  Am not too sure if second cousins are classed as too close - i.e. incest - but if he's a third cousin, or further removed, then you really wouldn't be doing anything wrong.  Hope this helps.

Answer 10

At your age, it's probably just a crush, and don't go and blow a family relationship because you have one.  You'll have several relationships before you get older.  

A lot of times, cousins are around each other a lot during the growing up stage.  That's where the term kissing cousin came in.  It's a natural feeling whether you're blood related or not.  

I'm not sure about UK law, however, since you aren't blood related, it shouldn't make a difference if you do persue the relationship, it just is opening up a door of trouble if it doesn't work out.  Good luck.

Answer 11

Since there's no blood relation there shouldn't be a problem. However, if others are not aware that you're adopted you'd best be prepared for some raised eyebrows!

Answer 12

The following is only my honest opinion:

Adoptees should have the same legal rights and limitations as if they were related by birth.

And in my culture and beliefs, dating your cousin, a close one, is seriously creepy.

Answer 13

If you were adopted and this "cousin" isnt blood related.. then in law there is nothing wrong with it at all... perfectly legal to have a full intimate relationship with him.

However i would be careful about how your family will react as although you are not blood related, it could cause frictions amongst your parents, etc.

Answer 14

Enjoy the friendship you have with your cousin.  You said that you know it is wrong - that is because blood or not, you were raised as relatives and you don't date relatives.

Answer 15

You're from Norfolk.

Answer 16

Yes its wrong doesn’t matter if you are biological related to your cousin. You all are legal family and I  assume grown up as family.  Of course you can check with the laws of your country some places do allow legal (bio or adopted) cousins to marry. However generally it’s not a close cousin most places don’t allow things between legal first cousins, i.e the son or daughter of one of your parent’s siblings. Or even first cousins once removed, the children for your first cousins.  Look at FDR he and his wife were biological 5th cousins once removed.  Queen Elizabeth and Philip are biological 3rd cousins  as they share a common Great Great Grandmother, Queen Victoria.

Seeing that you’re so young do you really want to bring possible turmoil to your family even more that it’s a rarity  that people your age hook up and remain together for very very very long time. Do you want to hook up with your cousin and then you all break up and now your  relationship will never be the same again.  There are many fish in the sea that you don’t have to hook up with a family member. Control your urges and find someone that is not family or at least not close family.

Answer 17

he's not related to you:)  so i don't think it's a bad thing!