I love my boyfriend, but I have trouble being affectionate with him, and going out to dinner. What can I do..?

Question

I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over two years (I'm only 16, mind you...and we've known each other for 13 years)

He's the best person ever, he's funny, kind, cute, and he genuinely cares about everybody around him. We can have the most amazing conversations ever, being random as heck or actually discussing something. There's never a dull moment when we talk, and we seriously care for each other, very deeply.

But I have a lot of trouble even just holding his hand or kissing him, when we're in public or just sitting in his room.

Dinner is worse, I feel like all eyes are on me, and I get nervous. He's the type that is extremely romantic and touchy-feely, so naturally he gets hurt when I kinda shrug him off. Lately I've been sucking it up and kissing him/holding his hand/hugging him, but now I feel like the relationship is forced, and I think he can see that I feel pressured, because he asks me if I'm okay 24/7.

I've had bad experiences in my life, but I didn't think they would affect me to the point of being afraid to show my boyfriend I love him, and being afraid to have him show me. Has anybody had this problem and if you fixed it...how?

Answer 1

Honey, if you love him and are physically attracted to him you are suppose to get aroused while he gets intimate with you. But if something is holding you back then you certainly have psychological issues. Probably bcoz of the bad experiences you talked of before. May be you should talk to your parents or him and meet a therapist. If you are not comfortable telling your parents why, then you need not and you need to tell them to respect your privacy. But as parents its their duty to help you be healthy and happy.

One thing you need to understand is, that he is a guy. telling him about your problems will not make him think ill of you or hurt your relations. But he will only be happy to help you so that when everything goes fine and settle down, you will be happy and so will be him.

Instead if you keep it to yourself, he will keep wondering why you are behaving so strangely even after him being so nice to you. If we guys love our women and really care for her it wont take us much to figure out if you people are merely doing it for us or whether you ppl are really into it.

A good open communication is the basis of a healthy male female relationship honey. You both will have to open up to each other to such an extend that there is nothing about you that the other person doesn't know and have to wonder why. It's true that you both love each other. But the fact remains that you both are two different individuals and its impossible for the other person to understand let along feel what you are going through most of the time. The only way of him or her knowing it is by you letting him or her know. Lack of that one thing is what messes up most of the relationships.

Hope this helped! Good luck honey!

Answer 2

I used to be that way but I found that I really can't change myself to be like the affectionate type. I suggest you talking to your boyfriend about it. Like how you have trouble being affectionate, but that doesn't mean you don't care for him. I'm sure he'll understand.

Answer 3

you should probably just tell him how you feel...

just tell him that you dislike PDA and that you would much rather make up for it privately.

answer mine? u seem like u could probably help

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