I love my boyfriend to bits, but sometimes i feel like i am sharing him with his family! am i being selfish?

Question

i only see him about once every month for a bout a week, due to his job. so we spend most of it at his house then a bit of time at mine (we do live rather far apart) but it just seems like when i am with him his family are always there sticking there noses in, asking favours of us, like babysitting. i don't want to be havinga relationship with them all just yet, we have only been going out for a year. i'm 17 and hes 20. can anyone give any advice? am i being selfish?

Answer 1

yep, you're being selfish.  what you want is unrealistic.  When you are in a relationship with someone you should be a part of their entire life and that includes relationships with their relatives and friends.  

If you aren't interested in relationships with his family then drop him and look for someone who only wants the booty call from you and won't introduce you to his extended network of family and friends because you aren't important to him.

Answer 2

He's your boyfriend, but he's their son, brother, etc. They have a right to see him too. He can't spend ALL of his free time with just you and ignore everyone else.

Answer 3

You have to share him, you can't have someone all to yourself.

Answer 4

I hate to say it but his family doesn't really get to see him a lot either. If you put stress on him and make him feel as if he has to choose that could cause a strain in the relationship as well not only between you and he but also between you and his family.

For the time being you will have to share. Find other ways to be alone. Talk on the phone more throughout the week. Plan a big night out next time he comes home. Just the two of you. Then the next time plan a big BBQ or nice dinner with his family. Do things to try to defuse the situation before it turns bad.

I don't think you are being selfish. I can understand that you want to spend time with just him when he comes home. why don't you make arrangements to visit him one day on his job out of town?

:) Good luck!

Answer 5

If he only sees you one week out of the month, I imagine that's the only the time he sees his family too, so you can’t expect him to give you all his time.  Suck it up and deal with it.

Who's he babysitting?  I’m guessing either younger siblings or nieces/nephews.  He wants to spend time with them too, I'm sure.  If you don’t want to babysit with him, then don't, but don’t complain because he’s doing it.  I’m guessing he’s not babysitting them every day.

Answer 6

just say to your boyfriend when one of his family asks you to babysit "i thought we could maybe have sometime to ourselves because we never get anytime just us 2."

If its anything else say i love you but we never get a chance just us to doing what we want to do

i dno if it'll be any help but its worth a try

Answer 7

all you need to do is ask like on holidays see if u can go with him to see his family and his job well thats fine and u r not being selfish ur just in love u wanna be by his side and thats fine just" try to give him more space either with or with out u " u probably dont know what that means so think about what it means to u  

Answer 8

no, your not being selfish.

i would kind of be the same way.

i could see staying with his family

for 2 days of the week & then the rest

of the week you 2 should spend together.