I m in Iraq working since Nov 07, my wife is hosting Karaoke at a bar 2 nights a week.?

Question

we have a 16 yr old daughter a 13 and 11 yr old boys. wife still hosts Karaoke on Thurs and Sat nights and has the kids stay with friends at night. Should I just let it go since the wife loves the second job of Karaoke? I have 4 months to go here in Iraq. I hate her being in a bar atmosphere. Do I just let it be?

Answer 1

Since you have teen age children, I assume youve been married for some time.  

If you have a good relationship-- tell her its hard for you being so far away.

You cant stop worrying about her safety, and being around people who are drinking.  ( whatever the reason)  See if she can calm some of your fears.   Maybe she doesnt know the degree of how much this is bothering you.

Answer 2

She probably wants to get away from being a housewife, mum, cleaner, cook etc just for a few hours a week. It is all the better she is doing something she enjoys.  Also she has been up front and told you about it. Thousands of women work in bars, club atmospheres. Believe me if she wanted propositioned it would still be the same in an office, shop, factory or whatever.  The thing  is she loves you and has your love in return so it is unlikely she would even consider straying.  If one of your children is 16 yrs then you have been together for a long time so that must mean something. If you go on and on about her job and show jealousy then it is more likely out of built up anger (not saying she would) that a women would look at someone else.  Try being more enthusiastic about what she doing, ask herquestions when you phone like Was it a busy night? Tell me about your night? Who made a fool of themself at the Karaoke? Avoid questions like Did you enjoy yourself? Were you dressed to kill? That will only get her heckles up.  Also being away from home although most guys won't admit it their emotions can be pretty mixed up but unless you have any reason to think your relationship was shakey before you left I think your doubts are groundless.  Best of luck.

Answer 3

if you have been in Iraq for that long obviously you trust her and lover her.

its only another 4 months just go with your gut!!

Answer 4

To be honest, I think you need to let it be.  What you are trying to avoid (being in that atmosphere) will be intensified if she CAN'T get out and do something.  I know it bothers you, but trust her!  I mean, you have an established relationship (kids, etc). and she TELLS you about the Karaoke thing.  Let it be.  She trusts you - you trust her.  It has to be hard on her as well not to have you with her and to be with the kids all the time.  She isn't doing anything that she is hiding and if all else in the relationship is good, be glad.

Lol - Sorry too - I have a little troll: ♥ who has several accounts and like to thumbs-down me.  It is good to see she cares so much :O).

Answer 5

You have obviously been together for quite a few years! Don't you realize she must be missing you too and that this job that she enjoys means alot to her? If she was going to cheat on you, she would have done so already and the next four months isn't going to matter. Have a little more faith in her and your relationship. And stay safe and come home in one piece for your family! God bless you and all the troops!

Answer 6

dont you trust her?

Answer 7

Let it be.  How are the kids with it?  Don't be oppressive; she'll love you even more.  Talk with her about the karaoke nights...like ask her who was the worst singer that night and what other funny or weird things happened...you know like, "How was your day."  Trust her.  

You have 4 options:

1.  Trust her and she's faithful and still loves you

2. Don't trust her and she's faithful and may love you less for being a jerk about something she enjoys doing and keeps her mind off your safety for a little while.

3.  Don't trust her and she's unfaithful--you increased your time of being upset.

4.  Trust he and she's unfaithful--her lost and you weren't miserable as long.

Answer 8

If I were you I would try to just let it be.  My bestie is married to  a Marine in Iraq and he freaks everytime we go out and it just causes more tension then there needs to be.  If you trust her, then there should be nothing to worry about.