I made a bad decision... ?

Question

i went to this all-ages club with my friends and one of my friends' older sister and her boyfriend (my friends and i are 14). i made a bad choice and danced with a wasted guy who was at least 5 years older than me and one of the drunk guys' friends who tried to feel me up...

i've learnt my lesson and will never do it again. so don't try to tell me that i shouldn't have done that cause i know that already.

i cant stop thinking about it... it keeps on bugging me. how do i make it stop?

Answer 1

Okay well firstly I should make you feel better by explaining that I was once totally violated by someone who was 7 years older than me, in a jacuzzi, while being under the influence and still a teenager, baddd decision. But I did the right thing by snapping back and not letting it go as far as s*x, you need to realize that you are better than this past situation and have learned a VERY good lesson early on in life. My best advice, move on and learn from your mistake, it will eventually become just a bad memory, but everyone has those. Please don't put yourself down for this, this was absolutely someone else's fault, someone who should know better and what is morally wrong. I guarantee you will feel better if you occupy your time with something much more important!

Answer 2

Maybe it is guilt and you may want to tell your parent(s).  If not, just try to redirect your focus.  It was a bad experience, but in time, it will fade away.

Answer 3

well it was a new experience for you,so its just gonna bug you.I would listen to some music or get involved with something that my friends are doing.Try to maybe read a book ,doing anything will get it off your mind.I know if i have a bad day music is the only thing that helps me get through.

Answer 4

It's very very good your learned your lesson. Guilt is a funny thing - it lets us know we've done something we shouldn't, but it can also eat at us when there's nothing left to do about it but accept that we made a mistake. You can take this lesson now and apply to your life for any kind of situation you are faced with that you may not have a peace about. Just about everybody has something happen in their lives at one point or another that makes them stop and say "I don't want to be this person". Unfortunately it happens too late and in some cases not at all. A friend of mine once said "I don't regret anything from my past because it made me who I am today." And he was absolutely right - our past it not to be regretted but learned from. Just pick yourself again girl, and be glad that you're one of the very few girls your age that actually learned from a mistake. :)

Answer 5

its too bad you think this is your fault, because its not.  women in our society have to be careful and it sucks, but you should be able to go out and dance and have a good time without being subjected to this.  first its not at all your fault, no matter what you did so long as you didnt want it and you said no. secondly think how lucky you are you were smart enough not to go anywhere with him.  i realize he really invaded you, and its terrible, but things could have been worse.  just be careful in the future because men are jerks. this was not your fault.  

Answer 6

You cant make it stop honey. All you can do is live your life and maybe in ten years it will be a distant memory. And take control of your life so it doesn’t happen again. And don’t drink to forget, that is only temporary.  

Answer 7

that kind of stuff will happen, its not a safe enviroment for young girls to be hanging out.

Answer 8

*sigh*  Hop on aboard my time machine.

*goes back into time*

Answer 9

just remember that your only 14, and one day you'll grow up and have s*x and you'll be like wow, feeling me up was nothing and silly and i just wasnt ready to have contact like that. seriously dont worry about it, guys at clubs are usually drunk and horny, he didnt know it would effect you like that. just tell your best friend and laugh about it. talking about it at all will make you feel better if it's bothering you :)

Answer 10

A guy tried to feel you up.  Are you that traumatized?  It's not a big deal at all.

Answer 11

Maybe draw some truth from this experience--(1) For the most part bars don't bring out the best in people (2) Alcohol is not the answer and generally where you see a lot of drinking you see a lot of  trouble (3) A girl has to be a lot smarter than you were by not putting herself in stupid situations that could be dangerous. (4) Realize you got off lightly as the guy was a drunken idiot and too boozed up and stupid to harm you but also realize that this break may not always happen so from here on be very protective of yourself by knowing your enviroment and what is around you.

Is it so awful to go to a movie and have a few laughs with your girlfriends? Why rush growing up and getting mixed up with idiots? Be 14 and enjoy the simplicty of a movie or concert or bike ride because you are only 14 once.

Answer 12

You just need to move on and if you can't do that, talk to a counselor.  You were technically molested - however, this happens to me practically every time I go to a club and I got used to it.  I just move the guy's hands away from my parts and the third time he does this (assuming I don't want him to) I just stop dancing and walk away.  Of course, I'm 22 so I've had more experience with pushy guys.  But talk to a counselor - the counselor can help you see that this isn't your fault (even if you made the bad choice of dancing with him, he made the worse choice of trying to force you to do something you don't want to do).  Good luck!

Answer 13

well, i would just do some stuff that is fun with your friends. I am 13 and I understand that there is some really creepy stuff out there. You learned your lesson and you know what to do next time, that's all you can do. It's not like it was your fault for dancing with that person. I would just go to the movies and dance with people that aren't wasted.

Your fine and he won't remember you or anything, no sweat. chill out and have some ice cream (ice cream always works... that and even more junk food)

Hope i helped

Answer 14

Time is all that cures that!   Just remember this feeling before you make the choice to have s*x.  Thats what life is about......lessons and learning from them.  That one night does not define who you are......relax.

Answer 15

there nothing much u can do now..neither bothering nor thinking about it will help..just take it as a learning for future n move on...im glad u no what u did...not many people own responsilbity of their actions..keep urself busy go watch a movie...bad memories only fade with time....gud luc

Answer 16

There really isn't anything you can do to turn back time and stop it from happening. (Which is really too bad.)

The best you can do is look ahead and think about how you've grown from the situation. You know now that hanging around people who are intoxicated can lead to bad experiences, and it's good for you for knowing that you've learned your lesson from this.

The most I can say is that it's over and done with. You can't worry about it anymore.

Answer 17

you got felt up at 14 thats good? why would people say it was a bad choice? i dont understand why you say its a bad choice unless your like a really really good girl.  

Answer 18

you have to stop thinking about it. last yr when i was 14, i made out with a guy who was 5 yrs older than me, and it bugged me out soo much, i felt soo bad. and then in like November i was like, nik( thats me), you need to stop thinking about it! so i stopped, and now this year, i have a thing with a guy who is 5 yrs older than me again, and I've been thinking about it again, so its really hard for me to stop, but i f u have the will power to stop yourself from thinking about it, you can!