I made a big mistake about a guy and would like to know what you guys honestly think!?

Question

I met this guy from on am.singles,and we been talking online since last november,and he sent me a lot of emails,and ecards,and instant messages on there also,and then finally he gave me his phone number to call him,but at first i didn't call him,and he told me that " he waited all day for my call",but finally i called him,and we had a long talk for many hours,and got to know each other,and this went on for a weeks,and he seemed like a very nice person according to his profile,and he told me that i was very cute and liked my profile,and everything,but the problem is that i am an insecure person who has low self esteem,because i was in a bad relationship before and the guy was a jerk and treated me very badly,and to make a long story short this guy that i met on american singles wanted to meet me a lot,and he kept asking for other pictures of me,and i did send him other pictures,but he's wanted to meet me face to face,and i got scared,and so now he's decided to "redirect" things,because he know's that me and him "will never meet" ,and say's that he "only wants to be friends",and to be very honest i'm having an extremely hard time accepting this decision of his,because he told me " your like chasing a dream i can't have",and i asked him what he mean't by that and he said " i want you but can't have you,because your not ready".What does it sound like to you guys what he was trying to say?,because i am very hurt,because he decided to quit "pursuing me as a romantic interest" which is what he told me.

Answer 1

I study Psychology and I can safely tell you that you are not going to be helping your self esteem making judgements and meeting people over the internet. 90% of all communication between two people is non-verbal. Please go out and meet people in public. It's also safer.

Answer 2

meet people in real life not in the internet, its for your safety

Answer 3

He is a jerk. You just found the wrong guy. I am in the same position. I met someone online and he thinks I am SO hot. I told him I want to wait a while before meeting, and he has no problem with it at all. Just keep looking.

Answer 4

I don't understand why you feel hurt. Read your own question ... If I were on the other end, I would have given up on you as a romantic interest, as well.

It is understandable that you are cautious after having been hurt in the past, but you need to work through those issues and not project them onto everyone else you meet.

This guy obviously opened up to you and had been patient for some time while you found excuses to delay each step. It is quite possible he changed tracks, as it were, because that's what you were unwittingly telling him to do. It is also quite possible that he still wants to move forward with you but wants the next move to be yours.

If you really want to pursue a relationship, get off your butt, stop the excuses, and tell him you are ready to commit to the next level. You're not the one who should be feeling hurt. Every move thus far has been his and you shut him down. Cancel the pity party and act now.

Edit:  I didn't say you pursued him. My exact words were "every move thus far has been his," which implies he pursued you. I also said what you were doing was being done unwittingly because you had been hurt in the past. I did not say you were "looking" for a pity party. If you don't want honest answers, don't ask questions. The best part about Y!A is we don't all think alike. If you don't like what I had to say, just skip it. Don't attack me for taking the time to offer an opinion.

Edit: Everything's cool. I understand and got a little heated myself. You have my apology, as well. I do wish you good luck, whatever you decide.

Answer 5

i dont think he wanted to give up up...and I dont think you want him to go away

If you want to keep him, you NEED to meet him. He wants a more serious relationship with you and you want him too...but only if he couldnt see you or something. If you ever want to get a trust in people back...go see him. If it doesn't work out...that sucks but at least you tried! :)

Goodluck

Answer 6

sounds like you're playing 2 hard 2 get !