I made the stupid mistake of lying to my ex.

Question

we have been trying to be friends for the last six months.

In the relationship we didn't work because of her expectations, my lying about things i felt insecure about (smoking cigs, money), outside stresses but still stuck together thru what was a tough time. After breaking up i slept with someone else 2 months (x and had no s*x life 4 months prior to breaking up) after i ended it and sadly the txt so confirm it (thnks for a great night) was accidently sent to her. I managed to save our friendship and throughout we have had turns in being jealous, harsh and having to accept that each other were going to date others. Three weeks ago i accepted it and made it clear however much i loved her, i was her friend and not going to be jealous anymore. My ex was going thru a rough time recently and i had been supporting her as a friend would. I went on a date one night and was quizzed by the ex as to where i was. To prevent from hurting her i lied - but then stupidly sent the "thankyou sms" to her instead of the person i went on the date with. She confronted me to which i tld her the truth (i had gone out on a date) she told me never to call her again, and sent me a pretty harsh sms even by guy standards. The level of hatred was just palpable "i hate you" "you are dead to me" liar manipulator etc. I know that lying is bad but i did do it to protect her..and was just one date...Now i have lost her i understand that, ( no one deserves that friendship mucking up with the text) is a lie and a mistake justified in reacting

like that when we are friends? Does what i have done constitute being told i am dead to her, not worth being spat on? she will never speak my name again?

Just some honest clarity please?

Answer 1

Well... if you are friends she should be happy that you are dating someone that cares about you and you should be able to tell the truth.  That was the first issue.  It sounds like she still has feelings for you, and because you lied and were not honest, she does not want to talk to you.  In the long run... you hurt her... badly... The problem is that she did not make it clear how she was feeling about you so she also set herself up for it.  Move on my friend... this is not worth it.

Answer 2

you cheated, you lied, you accidentally texted her TWICE? d**n, youre hopeless, dude. You obviously didn't learn from the last time you lied and narced on yourself. You must really be dense to have done it twice. Leave her alone, you ruined things by lying again and again. You destroyed any hopes of her trusting you. You made your bed, sleep in it. I bet you'd do it again, too. I don't think her words were that harsh, they were quite appropriate considering what you did. It's like you spat in her face twice, dimwit! How's that for honest clarity. Grow up and own your responsibilities. Learn from your mistakes, and DON"T REPEAT THEM!!!