I may never get to see him again, because his moms pretty ticked, and rightfully so, but I need help-its long?

Question

So here's the deal, my boyfriend, we are 17 and 18 and are having sexual relations, but never too often. Yesterday we were home alone, and since we didn't have condoms, we didn't have s*x plain and simple. Well my friend was at my boyfriend's sister's softball game and was texting me asking me if I was having s*x with him, and of course I said "No hanker pan-key here" and she asked what hankie pan-key meant and I texted back and said "It means s*x" well apparently before she read that text she got up to do something, and my boyfriends sister picked up her phone and read that part and texted back, "Wait is that what you're doing right now?" and I texted "Jessica, we went over this we aren't having s*x!" so Jessica came back and read her phone and got confused. So I didn't know what was going on until his sister came home and started yelling at us about it, so my boyfriend just attacked her and started choking her, and the other softball girls that came with got him off. I wasn't trying to get into the problem so I was trying to leave before I got in the fight too, but I'm not sure what sparked my temper but I threw my phone in thier direction and was about to leave when his sister came up behind and was punching me, so I did what anyone would do, I fought back until I could get her off me and get out the door. I finally got her off me when my boyfriend attacks her again because she hit me, so I was about to pick up my phone and leave when their mom came running in the house and pushed me out the door telling me to get out of her house, but my phone was still inside so I had to get my phone. I walked across the street to this one lady's house, and she knows me pretty well and asked me what happened and I told her I wasn't sure but my phone was still in the house, so she goes and tries to get it but their mom wanted to bring it out to me herself. So i'm sitting there waiting and she comes stomping over there saying I'm never allowed in their house again, and not allowed with her son etc. etc.

So I had her sit down and CALMLY talk to me, promising I would tell the truth to the best of my abilities, I told her I can't remember from the point where i threw my phone to the point where I finally got out of the house, I don't remember who all I hit (Which I found out later was 3/4 of the softball girls there) and that I will try to be as unbiased as possible. And, after she threatened me a little, she calmed down a little. I'm not sure how much of my truthfullness she believed but I got to the point where she agreed I could go on her property again when she decides I can, but when I'm there I'm not allowed to be home alone with him, and never allowed in his room again. And when we sit on the couch we cant kiss each other, hold each other, nothing. Then she took his phone away and told him he can't call me or talk to me unless it's in school, and not on the outside of the school, just on the inside of the school because she has no authority there. I don't know what to do, I'm never really going to see him again, and she's threatened me and him. I'm really scared, I'm really depressed, and I feel all the blame for everything was piled on me, what can I do In school to protect myself? Please sombody help me?

Answer 1

The entire family sounds crazy. Move on. I know it's easier said then done when you are at this age because everything is seems so critical. You probably even think this is the boy you are going to marry. He is not the one. You are going to meet tons of people in the future, especially in your 20's. Get over it. I remember when I was your age, and a situation like this would probably make me feel like the world is over. The family is crazy. This situation would have never happened if the sister wasn't sticking her nose in other people's business.

Answer 2

There is no problem with your temper, it's a normal human reaction.

As for everything else, the answer can be summed up as "**** that". If you were being asked not to have s*x that would be one thing, but not allowing you guys to talk goes several hundred miles over the line. Organize meetings between yourselves.

Try to keep a low profile because from what I can tell that family is prepared to move away to stop you guys seeing each other.

Seriously. **** them, they can't do that.

Answer 3

I wasn't going to answer this because at first I thought she really made lots of mistakes.

First of all I would not have text anybody on a phone that I had been having s*x with anybody. Didn't matter that you weren't, just matters that you text someone and told them you weren't. Why would you broadcast all over that you were having s*x, and I would bet if your boyfriend broadcast that, you would hate  hime for it.

The next mistake you made was engaging in a brawl. Fighting only does one thing. Get someone hurt. Whether emotionally or physically thats all it does is get someone hurt.

The next mistake you made was throwing your cell phone. That was a but childish don't you think? I mean this was a prized posession and I am sure your mom and dad pay for that phone and it's bill and you threw there money at someone. Doesn't matter that you did retrieve it. You threw it at someone and that is a little disrespectful to your parents but most of all to yourself.

There were more mistakes that you made. I am sorry to say this but you have made your bed now you have to lie in it and I am afraid it is going to be lonely for quite some time.

You are being told by his mom to move on and I think you should as well.      

Answer 4

First of all, you need to see the school counselor to learn to control your temper. That is th most important thing you need to do now. Then worry about when you can see your boyfriend.

It seems you and he will have to earn his moms trust back if you two want to stay together. If you do continue with the relationship, this "bump" will be very good for your relationship with your boyfriend. So you and he need to spend as much time as his mom will let you in the manner that she describes. If that means that you sit on one chair and he sits in another, then that is what you must do. Have conversations with his family. Show you are interested, if indeed you are truly interested and want to continue this relationship with him. As time goes on, she will begin to trust you and see that you are good together and she will let down her guard and you two  can have time together alone.

Good luck.

Answer 5

  well her it goes,it sounds a bit messy but as you said you are or nearly are adults.So mom can't say a whole lot for too long.I had a very similiar situation when i was 19 and the girls parents dictated how we could see one another after a less than discreet occurance and she was 19 also.I was young and dumb and should have told them to keep their yaps shut,and we would see each other whether they liked it or not. We did get married eventually but the point is,at your age they can only say so much-which pretty much amounts to our house our rules-so your other option is to move out on your own.

Answer 6

Wow, it is sad how a day with your bf turned into a confused mess. The sister is at fault because she should not have been reading someone elses text. The mom sounds like she is trying to be fair but is upset right now. Give her some time to cool off and try to do as she wishes. Because if she finds out, she will never trust you again. Let things cool off a little.

Answer 7

I've been through a situation like that. You should talk to his mother and your boyfriend. Tell them how you feel.