I mean really... If you had a Carpathian, would you name it Patrick?

Question

I mean really... If you had a Carpathian, would you name it Patrick?

Answer 1

I think Patrick is a great name, even for a Carpathian.

Answer 2

Anyone that has had a Carpathian could tell you that we don't really have them as much as they have us.

Answer 3

you should never try to name a carpathian...it makes them really angry, and you don't want to be around a pissed off carpathian!

Answer 4

I guess I would call him Vigo the Carpathian... but Patrick the Cruel, Patrick the Torturer, Patrick the Despised, and Patrick the Unholy and Patrick the Butch has a nice ring to it too. Perhaps that could be a middle name.

don't cross the streams!

Answer 5

Certainly!

Much more fitting than calling him George, and Vlad is so passe...

Answer 6

*Have* a Carpathian?

Carpathians cannot be captured at all.  They have to be killed (with a very large gun, I hear) and then stuffed.  It is the only real way to posses one.

But then again, even that is probably only urban legend.  

Owning even a stuffed Carpathian is sure to be life threatening.

Heck, I've heard of Carpathian 360's alone destroying entire civilizations out of fear.

Trust me, I made the mistake of calling a Carpathian "Buttercup" once, and I immediately crapped my pants.

If you know what's good for you, and you have any common sense at all, just stick with "Patrick" and leave it at that.

Answer 7

Adding to Darth's answer, which added on 8 Track's answer, the only known way to capture a Carpathian is to wave a copy of "2 Girls, 1 Cup" in their direction.  They will stampede you to get the copy, so have a REALLY big net ready.

Answer 8

In my state (Illinois) You need a special license to keep those critters...It seems they are an in dangered species...

I did go ahead and get that license..and the one I got really seems to like the cold weather for some reason....he only has one problem as I see it....he likes to pull his green feathers out, and drinks way to much BEER....But I love him just the same...!!

Answer 9

Just adding to 8 Track's answer, I hear Carpathians usually have Bison as pets.  Makes it tougher to capture Carpathians as they'll sic those Bison on you.

Answer 10

you can never actually capture a carpathian, you know. they run wild in wisconsin, devouring cheese and building little igloos here and there, doing crazy little dances before smashing miller beer cans on their foreheads

Answer 11

That's funny, I have a Carpathian called Patrick...

YOU SPY ON ME!!! >.>

Answer 12

nope, i probably wouldn't because they are an extremely special product of the pre-Red Dawn era...this Carpathian Patrick is a product of two careless, unwed, marijuana smoking, lusting, not-so-original teenagers who lived during the 1970's. shotgun wedding--end of story...

Answer 13

You mean, other than The Scourge of Moldavia?  Yeah, Patrick seems like a good substitute.  :)

JACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!