I moved to another country to be with my Fiancee. He cheated on me. Do I give the ring back?

Question

My former boyfriend of 6 years proposed to me in May 2007. I moved to another country in Sept. 2007 to be with him. I was jobless for 7 months b/c I was waiting on my immigration status. He started to have doubts around February and called the wedding off. He asked me to stay there because he loved me and wanted to work this out (meanwhile, my immigration papers were still processing).

My immigration status was approved in July and I had to fed-ex my passport so they could issue me my visa. The very next eveining after I fed-exed my passport he deceided to sleep out b/c he had too much to drink! He came in the next morning and casually kissed me... snowed me, etc. I sensed that something was off... I asked him, he said nothing happened. Asked again 3 hours later.... nothing happened. Asked again in the late afternoon.... voila!!!! I ****** up again he says.

In case your wondering what "I ****** up again" means. He cheated on me years before and I left him for that. He never learned

Answer 1

you most certainly DO NOT give that ring back!  you sell it and do something for YOU with that money!  move back to your family if that's what you want!  under no circumstances do you ever give that ring back to the lying cheating b*****d!  it was a promise to you that HE broke.  he has to pay for that.  and you enjoying the money you get from the ring...that's payback!

Answer 2

Head back home, with that ring, he gave you that ring as a present, but apparently to him it doesn't symbolize anything, so take it with you,it's yours get some money for it, and find someone who can be loyal and respectful of you! Good luck!

Answer 3

yeah, keep the ring and sell it so you can get back home.

Answer 4

getting back to my native country would be my first priority, he gave you the ring i would sell it and buy a ticket home

Answer 5

def do NOT give the ring back!! hes a b*****d and he would prob just sell it. my friends aunt chucked hers down the toilet when they got divorced(haha you dont have to be that dramatic!!lol) you should prob sell it, or return it IF that was possible somehow. the only reason I would give it back is if it waw his mothers or grandmothers ring, in which it was precous to them and they would want it back. (i know I would!!) srry I dont have any more ideas!! :( Good luck! you will def be in my prayers!!!! let me know how it goes.....l♥ve, Sarah Kate

Answer 6

Keep the ring and sell it!! By something for yourself and don't go back to him!

Answer 7

h**l no you dont give it back. You keep it & sell it for as much as you can get, it's the least you can walk away from him with. Once a cheater always a cheater I say but that sjust me. You dont get a 2nd chance to s***w me over. After you know your safely gone & he cant find you, I'd mess up his place, car, etc...anything for revenge, but again...thats just me. Some people will say it's juvenile, dont stoop to that level, etc. F that. You hurt me, now I hurt you worse. Take the ring & run.

Answer 8

Hock the ring and use the money to move back home.  :)

Answer 9

h**l no!!! I joke with my Fiance that the ring is my insurance policy! and even though it is a joke I wouldn't give it back if my life depended on it (well maby then but you get the point) it's yours and if you don't want it based on it's symbolism sell it or give it to someone else. he did wrong here not you consider it a deposit since he broke the contract the deposit is yours just like any of your wedding venues would. but don't give it back what ever you do...he gave it to you because you are a great woman. you still are a great woman and you should reap the benefits of it!

Answer 10

the general rule is.... if you broke it off, give the ring back. if he breaks it off, consider it a parting gift. then trade it on for money, or have it melted down into jewelery for you.

Answer 11

I think technically you are supposed to give the ring back.  It is a conditional gift depending on whether or not the marriage occurs.  If it does not, you are supposed to give it back, I don't think it matters whose fault it is.

BUT...under these circumstances I think you should absolutely keep it!  Pawn it and use the money to help finance moving back home.

Good luck and be strong!

Answer 12

I've heard that if the guy breaks it off then you keep the ring.  Since it sounds like he already broke off the wedding then it would be yours.  Sell it, keep it, throw it in the river, whatever.

But I've believe that if the woman breaks it off, then she is expected to give it back.  That's what I've heard in the past, but not really 100 percent sure on this.  Good luck.

Answer 13

Give the b*****d the ring back and dont ever see him again.

Answer 14

Give him his ring back and say "see ya"! Thats ridiculous. You mean to tell me he messed up AGAIN.. and didnt learn??  Get rid of him and find someone who will be faithful and cherish you and treat you like you need to be treated.

I am sorry this happend. It sucks to be the one cheated on

Answer 15

I'm sorry this happened to you. I was cheated on once & that's all it took. He didn't get a second chance to betray me. If he cheated on you in the past, then I guess you didn't learn either. First time, shame on him....second time, shame on you, as the old saying goes, for taking him back. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Once the trust has been broken, the foundation cracks, & no amount of patching  can make the foundation solid again. As for the ring, do what you feel in your heart is right & is a decision you can live with. I would give the ring back as it lost its true meaning when he cheated. Go back home, try to put this whole thing behind you in time, & go on with your life. Best of luck to you!

Answer 16

I wouldn't.  He broke it off (or committed the act that broke it off ).  The only exception would be if it's a ring from his family, like it was his mother's or something, then I would give it back.  It's not her fault he's a jerk.

BTW- He never learned from the first incident because you took him back.  Hopefully you have learned your lesson on that.

Answer 17

He never learned? Or you never learned?

Keep the ring. Sell it and use the money to get your own place or fly back to your home country and start over.

Answer 18

the ring is a gift to you and it is a symbol of love and trust. he did not live up to his side of the commitment, so he does not deserve it back. if it was you who cheated on him, he should get it back, but since that is not the case, KEEP IT! good luck to you in your future!

Answer 19

Absolutly do not gave that ring back!  Sell it and buy something you want!  Or to pay you back for the moves and time out of work!

Answer 20

Sorry for your situation.

Whether you give up the ring is different from country to country and state to state.

In the U.S. the majority rule is that the engagement ring is a gift--once it's been delivered and accepted, you can't get it back.  The minority rule is that the ring is a CONDITIONAL gift which is formally "delivered" upon entering the marriage contract.  If the contract doesn't go through (i.e. don't get married) then the condition is broken and you have to return the ring.

From a practical matter, it seems like you could use the ring, sell it, and get $$ to get your life in order.  If he dragged you to another country, that's the least he should do for you.

Answer 21

You have 2 options here as I see it...

1. Stay and forgive him and live "happily ever after" wondering what hes doing while hes out with the "boys." In my opinion this choice will only cause you to become miserable and feel bad about yourself. Once a cheater always a cheater.. Old saying yes BUT hes proved the theory according to the information.

2. Pack your things get on a plane or boat or w/e u need to and get back to your country!!! You can always start over. As for keeping the ring or not.. Its up to you.. I look @ it this way.. Why would you want the ring from a jerk who cant keep it in his pants? If you keep and pawn it.. he could sue you for it. Your choice tho.

P.S. If he did love you he wouldnt keep cheating..

Answer 22

Do you really need to ask someone else? You earned that ring, plus some extra jewelry. Make him take you shopping, and start keeping the goods in a safety deposit box in your name only!