I must be a bad parent...?

Question

Everyday I pack my child a healthy lunch box with salad sandwiches, juice, fruit and a small treat. I treat him through out the week by taking him out for a milkshake and a icecream. Today when cleaning his room I found 5 mouldy sandwiches in the bottom of a basket that I can gather have been hidden in the past two weeks. I could smell something off in his room the past two days and asked him if he had anything in his bag that could have gone off but he said no. I checked his bag and found an unfilled lunch order as well - it was for a chicken salad sandwich and a chocolate milkshake. He has lied to me before because I do follow through with consequences. I don't hit him but I take away priveleges like afternoon TV. What am I doing wrong?? I am thinking off punishing him by not allowing any TV for one week. Can you help me shed some light as this has devasted me and I wonder if I am a horrible parent???

Answer 1

yes ask what he wants to be packed    if he has a say in it, he will eat it

Answer 2

How old is your son? I'd be willing to bet that he wants to do what all of his friends are doing...which is eating a school lunch. He might be getting a hard time from kids at school for bringing lunches his mother has packed for him. You aren't being a horrible parent, but to say you are devastated over something that he is doing to prevent himself from being embarressed may be a bit much. Stop worrying, and let him know that if something is bothering him, that he should just tell you about it rather than sneaking around. :)

Answer 3

I hate sandwiches.   The thought of two slices of bread with something in the middle is enough to make me feel icky.   I've been that way from the time I was young.

It took me a  long time before I could admit to my mom that I hated my lunches and didn't eat them.   I'd much rather take a piece of fruit with me then sandwiches.

Why punish him for not liking sandwiches?  I'm sure there are certain foods you don't like either.  Instead, why not just talk to him and find something he likes that you are willing to give him for lunches and go from there.

Answer 4

Hardly something to be devastated over...the kid doesn't like the lunches you pack for him.  Why not ask him what he would like for lunch instead of choosing for him?  It is also not something he should be punished for.

Answer 5

ask him what he likes for lunch and also ask him why he is not eating as it may lead to the reason he is lying to you ,he may be stressed over something or he may be eating someones lunch with a friend ,you wont know unless you ask ,just sit down at the table and speak quitetly to him and you will get all the answers ,let him tell you what he wants to eat .see how that goes and dont go punishing him for there may be good reasons why all this is happening! be patient!

Answer 6

No, you are not a horrible parent. I would ask him what is going on and why he isn't eating his lunch. You didn't specify how old he is. That would make a difference in how you handle the situation. Certainly, the lying and sneaking should not go unpunished, but you ought to get to the bottom of this as to why he is not eating.

Answer 7

maybe he doesnt like salad sandwiches ,have you asked him what kind  he would like?everything else sounds good,but it sounds like he dont like the salad sandwiches,try and ask him what kind he would like.it worked for me.

and you dont sound like a bad mom!

Answer 8

Do YOU like to eat the same thing for lunch everyday? I know I sure don't. Even as a kid I didn't like it. Kids need to have variety.

Taking away privileges is not the answer to this one!

First off, let your son know that you found the sandwiches in his room and ask why he didn't want to eat them. Maybe you're packing something that he really doesn't like. Maybe he does just want to eat school lunch with the other kids. Punishing him for preferences isn't going to help anything. If he still wants to bring his own lunch to school, let him pick out things that he wants to take with him. Kids like that. I'm not sure how old he is, but I would trust my 1st grader to pack her own lunch since we have taught her to choose healthy foods. You can supervise when he is getting his lunch ready to make sure that there is not a lot of junk foods and sweets going into it.

Otherwise, let him eat the school lunches.

Good luck!