I nanny a 22-mo-old whose parents don't discipline. I set limits, and they let him do anything he wants!?

Question

The worst thing lately is I am trying to teach him "no hitting." His dad lets him hit him without saying "no" or anything like that. It's so frustrating! Can I say anything to the parents about this?

Answer 1

you can bring it up with them and explain some problems you are having in taking care of the child.  unfortunately some parents prefer to let their kids run wild.  if that is the case, you have to choose whether you will do what they want you to or leave.

in the end, the parents decide how the child is raised.. even if they don't do a good job of it.

Answer 2

Absolutely, if you are the nanny, then you should get to have some kind of control. If you don't control it now, it will only get worse, I know, I have a very strong and strong willed 4 yr old. Just calmly sit them down and explain what you think. A good thing to go by is when he hits, get down to his level, sit on your knees if you have to, tell him in a calm but firm voice, no hitting, and set him in time-out. The rule of thumb is 1 minute per year of life, so for him, 2 mins for a 2 y/o. He will fight you the first few times you do it, but keep up with it, stay clam, and things will eventually get better. I also recommend watching Supernanny, she has some great tips!

Answer 3

hi

Answer 4

I would tell them that they can not expect their son to learn to behave in a decent manner if they do not reinforce the discipline and guidelines you set out for them. Ask them if they think it would be right if you hit him, and when they say no, then ask them why they think it is okay for him to hit others.  

Answer 5

They are paying you to care for their child and it sounds like you are doing great at setting limits with him.  As the child's primary care provider....you should definately speak up about this.  

You may be suprised, the child's parents will probably respect your  input and professionalism.  Maybe you could play dumb, like ask them sometime over dinner what they think good rules for their son should be.  That way it avoids the awkwardness.  As the conversation goes on explain to them some things you have been working on and ask if they agree.  You could continue by asking them what they think the best way to discipline should be, and explain what you have been doing and that so far you have been getting good results.  At some point you will need to let them know that he needs consistancy or he just wont get it.    

Some parents just dont get it...and unfortunately parents that hire nannys sometimes expect the nanny to raise their child (potty training, discipline, preschool) while they can sit back and just play with them.  

Good luck!

Answer 6

Not really unfortunately, I do know how you feel I had a similar situation myself and unfortunately everytime you think you have an understanding with the child the parent will let them get away with something again and undermine you. You could try approaching the parents but it really isn't anybody's place to tell a person how to raise their child (unless of course they are abusive). All I did was to continue to enforce my rules as best I could when the child was in my care. I found the best trick was when he hits or looks like hitting i say would you like (whoever he is hitting me or the dog for example) to do that to you? No well then you shouldn't do it to them. If he continued after that I would take a favourite toy away. This generally worked temporarily but it became a new fight everytime he got away with it again. good luck

Answer 7

Sounds like they are too busy to be good parents anyway.