I need HELP, how can me and my mom stop a 2 year old from crying about everything?

Question

my mom is a foster parent, she keeps babies temporarily until they find placement. She got a new baby girl this week and she cries about everything single thing.

It makes of feel bad because we don't know what to do. We don't know what makes her happy, she crys about everything.

My mother took her to my aunt's house who baby sits small children to see if she would play with other kids her age and she just cried and screamed.

She is also very very dependant, if she is not being held she just cries and screams. When she is being held she is calm.

We were told by the social worker that she was abanonded by her mom, meaning that her mom would leave her in the house alone with her other small children, the oldest is 6year old. The only thing the other small kids would do is hold her because small children don't know how to take care of other babies so all they do is hold the baby..

I don't want us to scream at the little girl or try to force her to change because she is already very sensitive..

what to do? It hurts us to see her in so much mental pain at such a young and tender age...She just screams and screams and we don't know why..

Answer 1

Your doing a great thing for that child but to tell you the truth that baby has been so much emotional trauma by now i think the best thing to do is hold her tell her how much you love her. THink about it if somebody left you alone would you want to be put down? She thinks that if you are holding her than yu cannot leave her. She needs somebody to show her that it is okay that you aren't holding her and that you arent' going to leave her anywhere. LEaving her with the other kids at your aunt's house may have scared her because she spent most of her time being raised by a six year old. For all the people that say she is too young to understand the trauma of what her mother put her through your wrong, she knows. Good luck

Answer 2

Having raised a few children - here are some thoughts.  The poor little one has obviously been though somtraumatictic experiences and simply does not feel "safe" without being held - changnig that will take lots of time and lots of love.

How about introducing her to a new "comfort" object like a blanket or stuffed animal.  All my children had at least one special item at that age that really helped them feel comfortable when not held.  Find something she really likes to snuggle with and always have her hold it when you are holding her.  In time, very slowly try her on her own and if she starts crying try using the comfort item.  Again - this may take a long time but might help her become less defendant on you holding her.

Patience.....

Answer 3

Sounds to me like this little girl just needs reassurance and comforting. When she gets upset and starts crying and screaming, bring her into a quiet room where it is just the two of you and no other overwhelming things going on and soothe her. Crying is probably the only mechanism she knows how to use to deal with all her different emotions. Not to mention, it sounds like she hasn't had a very stable life up to this point. Let her know that you are there, and that she is ok. It might be hard on you at first, getting frustrated because she is seemingly crying for no reason. Try your best to stay calm. Poor thing. Good luck to you both!

Answer 4

This little girl will have to learn gradually over time that she can trust you.  Make sure that you use a consistent phrase when you are putting her down and doing a quick task, "I'll be right back"  and then do just that.  When you are able to come to her again, say "I'm back" in a calm tone of voice.  If you are just a temp placement, all you can do is hang in there.  Kids that have been through this sort of thing take a long time to soothe and gain the ability to trust.  Bless you and your Mom for working with these babies.  Shame on the parents that harm the little ones in the first place or neglect them.

Answer 5

poor little lady is crying out for love but i know its sounds harsh i would completely ignore her when she cries as its her way of letting you know she is there and give her loads of love as soon as she stops crying she soon know the right way to get attention even if it breaks your heart to do so