I need REALLY good riddles and really funny adult rude Jokes

Question

I need REALLY good riddles and really funny adult rude Jokes

Answer 1

A man goes to his doctor and complains that his wife hasn't wanted to have s*x with him for the past six months.

The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her and hopefully determine what the problem is.

The following day, the wife goes to the doctor's office. The doctor asks her what's wrong, why doesn't she want to have s*x with her husband?

"Oh, that's easily explained. For the past six months," the wife says, "I've been taking a cab to work every morning. I don't have any money. The cab driver asks me, 'Are you going to pay today, or what?' So, I take an 'or what'."

"Then, when I get to work," she continues, "I'm late, so the boss asks me, 'Are we going to write this down in the book, or what?' So, I take an 'or what'.

"I take a cab to go home after work and, as usual, I have no money. The cab driver asks me again, 'So, are you going to pay this time, or what?' Again, I take an 'or what'.

"So you see, doc, by the time I get home I'm all tired out and don't want it anymore."

"Yes, I see," replies the doctor. "So, are we going to tell your husband, or what?"

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "C cc ca can yy you he he help mm me with m my stutter".

The doctor says of course and tells him to lie on the couch. He examines him and finds that the man has a 16-inch c**k.

The doc says, "No wonder you have a stutter with that hanging off your vocal chords, I'll have to take some off"."

So he removes 10 inches and sends him home.

A week later the man returns complaining that his wife misses the large c**k, though his stutter is cured.

"Is there any way you can help?" he asks.

The doctor replies, "Sssss ss se send hhh hhh he her in to me a a and I'll ss ss sssee what I can d d d d d do !!

Answer 2

funny.com

check google for more

Answer 3

there was a black car car and there were no lights were on the moon wasn't showing either and there was a lady in a black dress crossing the road how did the man driving the car see her ??

it was a sunny day.

Answer 4

what runs all day but never tires

has a bed but does not sleep

has a mouth but never eats.

what demands an answer but asks no questions.

four men in a boat in the middle of a lake

the boat tipped over but

not a single man got wet.

will give the answers later.

answers

a river

a telephone

they were all married, none were single.

Answer 5

mary:look john i got a nylon net t-shirt tell me hows it?

john: i dont like it mary, i can see through it

mary: u r a big fool ,when i'll wear it,you wont be able to see through it

Answer 6

A blonde was suspicious that her husband was cheating on her. She  went home during her lunch break. The wife darted inside and demanded to know where the other woman was. Her husband claimed he didn't know what she was talking about. So the blonde runs through the house to try to find the other blonde, looking in closets, under beds, behind the funiture, and inside the attic and basement. After hours of vigourous searching, the blonde has a heart attack and dies. When she goes to heaven, she met another blonde that has also recently past away. The first blonde was explianing how she died and the seconde blonde said. "If you just looked inside the walk-in freezer, we'd both be alive!!"

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Little Johnny walked into his parents room and saw his mother getting dressed. "Mommy, what's that?" he pointed to her public hair. "That's my blaick sponge." Johnny fell for the lie and went away. Later on the day, he saw his mom washing dishes and wondered why she wasn't using her black sponge. She said that she lost it. Johnny left again, but came back in about 10 minutes. "Mommy, I found your black sponge!" Having no idea what he was talking about, his mother asked where it was. "Mrs. Johnson next door has it and Daddy's washing his face in it!"

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off the cliff?

Tequila!!

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All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.

The brain said: "I should be in charge, because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the heart, "because I pump the blood and circulate oxygen all over the body, so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the r****m, "because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the r****m and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic. Eventually the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the r****m should be the boss.

The moral of the story?

The @$$h0le is always in charge.

Answer 7

here's a really good riddle , hope you can answer it......

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...