I need a 3rd persons viewpoint on a phrase. Please help?

Question

What does this phase mean to you "I don't want the house to start off cluttered"?

Right now our apartment has 7 fishtanks we recently bought a house and were discussing where to put the fish tanks and my husband said he wanted a 500 gallon fish tank and I said "I don't want the house to start off cluttered".

In your opinion, did my phrase basically say no, you can't have a fish tank? The reason I ask is he got pretty upset when I said that, and I found out he thought I was just saying a flat out no, he can't have the tank.

Answer 1

Hi In essence you did something called "installing". In my experience his reaction is probably because he has experienced a respose similar in the past.

It might also have depended on how you used you voice one as well. A better way might be to say. It would be great to have a fishtank. Thinking of the size of the room which size do you think might be best? ( then give some smaller dimensions!!)

We are all such sensitive souls. We just want to be validated.

Hope thsi helps

Best Wishes

Managers Coach

Answer 2

to me it means, no you can't have a freaking 500 gallon fish tank, because I want to have room to move around the house the first month that we move in, but eventually we can have a 500 fish tank when we finish renovating the house for more room.

Answer 3

I think you were more specific than saying no.  There are potential solutions to the problem that would allow for the new tank, for instance, getting rid of two other tanks, or consolidating some smaller tanks into fewer larger tanks.

That said, 7 fish tanks is a lot.  Does he maintain them all appropriately?  If not, perhaps moving is a good time to downsize to a more managable number of tanks

Answer 4

I think it means you already have too many fish tanks and this huge one will just junk up the place and I want the house to look nice.

Seriously, he has enough fish tanks. You could have said, "Honey, maybe you save up and buy a tropical fish store."

Answer 5

It sounds to me like you're asking him not to fill it up with c**p so quickly. That statement is a general one that pertains to everything in a general sense. Also if you are going to show him these answers and go "SEE?? LOOK!" don't make that a habit as this will most likely start to p**s him off