I need a funny female monologue from a movie. help please!!?

Question

it needs to be at least 1 minute long and it needs to for a teenager/young adult. i would really like one from movies like miss congeniality, legally blonde, john tucker must die, mean girls, etc. :)

Answer 1

For a bit more serious do the opening monolouge in "Never Been Kissed" as Josie Geller.

"Clueless"

Go to http://www.cvrperformingarts.com/Drama/S...

Answer 2

okay well i suggest this monologue from mean girls:

Regina: Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. (makes a face) I know right, it's soooo embarrassing. I don’t even…whatever. So then in eighth grade I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle, who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana--and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like "Why didn't you call me back?!" and I'd be like, "Uh, why are you so obsessed with me?" So then for my birthday party, which was an all girls pool party, I was like, "Janyce I can't invite you because I think you're a L*****n" I mean, I couldn't have a L*****n at my party! There were going to be girls there in their bathing suits! I mean right, she was a L*****n! So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her and it was so retarded and then she dropped out of school 'cause no one would talk to her and she came back in the fall for high school and her hair was all cut off and she was totally weird and now I guess she's on crack. (gasps and turns) Oh my God! I love your skirt, where did you get it?

Lea: It was my mom's in the '80s.

Regina: Vintage, so adorable.

Lea: Thanks. (Lea walks away.)

Regina: That is the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen.

i have performed it before and got a lot of laughs

but i also have a website that contains a lot of female movie monologues and here is the link:) good luck

http://www.whysanity.net/monos/female.ht...

Answer 3

I don't know any websites for scripts, but if it's only one minute long, view the actual DVD, transcribe your monologue of choice and disseminate it from that.  I guess what you are having to do is to work out the way in which comic timing works for different performers...Sandra Bullock is a good physical, comic actress, Reese Witherspoon is simply a good actress...you need to find an actress who is just an excellent comic performer...in my opinion, look at older films too for inspiration

Answer 4

well i dont have any examples for you but if this is for an audition of any kind you shouldnt do one from a movie!! its not professional and they have seen them done too many times not only from other kids who were dumb enough to do them but from professional actors in the movies!! if you do one from legally blonde they are just going to compare you to reese witherspoon and thats a hard person to live up so get a monologue that others would not have and isnt from a movie or tv show

Answer 5

theres a really good one from "chorus line". i forgot what the name of the girl is though. you'll have to look it up. it is definitely entertaining. my friend once performed it and the audience loved it.

Answer 6

try something fiona says in shrek

sorry ill see if i can find one online

on second...

http://monologueblogger.com/2007/12/20/m...

i couldnt  find shrek but try these!

much luck,

meeeeeeeeee

Answer 7

Go to http://www.stageagent.com/Shows/Monologu...

I found some good monologues there.

Answer 8

i recommend "confessions of a teenage drama queen"

watch the movie - use the one at the beginning idk its funny cuz shes all overdramatic

Answer 9

I have done some research on places on the internet where you can find monologues and scripts of all types, including duet acting scripts, film monologues, teen monologues, monologues for girls, women, men, comical monologues, short comedic monologues, etc.

Answer 10

Hey! Check out the website below, its amazing(:

Good luck!

Answer 11

here is one from mean girls:

Why should Ceaser get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get squished under his big feet! Whats so great about Ceaser? Brutus is just as cute as Ceaser! Brutus is just as smart as Ceaser! People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Ceaser and when did it become ok for one person to be the boss of everyone?  huh? Because that's not what Rome is about! We should totally just stab Ceaser!!!

the next scene:

If only you knew how mean she really is... You'd know that I'm not allowed to wear hoop earrings. Yeah! Two years ago she told me hoops earrings were *her* thing and I wasn't allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hannakuh my parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops and I had to pretend like I didn't even like them and... it was so sad. And you know she cheats on Aaron? Yes, every Thursday he thinks she's doing SAT prep but really she's hooking up with Shane Ohman in the projection room above the auditorium! I never told anybody that because I am *such* a good friend! (starts crying)

Answer 12

In "My cousin Vinny", Marisa Tomei is telling Vinny what the f**k does a deer that gets killed, care about what kind of pants he has on.

also, same movie, her diatribe about not being married and the daughter of her sister is engaged and Marissa Tomei's stamps on the floor about her biological time-clock.

Answer 13

I have done some research on places on the internet where you can find monologues and scripts of all types, including duet acting scripts, film monologues, teen monologues, monologues for girls, women, men, comical monologues, short comedic monologues, etc. I also answer a lot of questions about how to effectively memorize a monologue or your lines in general as well as about common mistakes that actors often make while performing a monologue for an audition. On this page on my site for new and aspiring actors, you will find all that information including links to the types of monologues you are looking for. http://www.actingcareerstartup.com/comic...

Good luck in your audition.

Tony

Answer 14

go to this site....

http://www.ispgroupinc.com/monologues/mo...

hope this helps...  (:

Answer 15

okay well i suggest this monologue from mean girls:

Regina: Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. (makes a face) I know right, it's soooo embarrassing. I don’t even…whatever. So then in eighth grade I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle, who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana--and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like "Why didn't you call me back?!" and I'd be like, "Uh, why are you so obsessed with me?" So then for my birthday party, which was an all girls pool party, I was like, "Janyce I can't invite you because I think you're a L*****n" I mean, I couldn't have a L*****n at my party! There were going to be girls there in their bathing suits! I mean right, she was a L*****n! So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her and it was so retarded and then she dropped out of school 'cause no one would talk to her and she came back in the fall for high school and her hair was all cut off and she was totally weird and now I guess she's on crack. (gasps and turns) Oh my God! I love your skirt, where did you get it?

Lea: It was my mom's in the '80s.

Regina: Vintage, so adorable.

Lea: Thanks. (Lea walks away.)

Regina: That is the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen.

i have performed it before and got a lot of laughs

but i also have a website that contains a lot of female movie monologues and here is the link:) good luck

http://www.whysanity.net/monos/female.ht...

Answer 16

how about the one from the princess diaries:

Mia: Hi, um... hello. I'm Mia. Um, it's stopped raining! I'm really no good at speech-making. Normally I get so nervous that I faint or run away, or sometimes I even get sick. But you really didn't need to know that... But I'm not so afraid anymore. See, my father helped me. Earlier this evening had every intention of giving up my claim to the throne. And my mother helped me, by telling me it was ok, and by supporting me like she has for my entire life. But then I wondered how I'd feel after abdicating my role as Princess of Genovia. Would I feel relieved, or would I feel sad? And then I realized how many stupid times a day I use the word 'I.' And probably all I ever do is think about myself. And how lame is that when there's like seven billion other people out there on the planet, and... sorry, I'm going too fast. But then I thought, if I cared about the other seven billion out there, instead of just me, that's probably a much better use of my time.

See, if i were Princess of Genovia, then my thoughts and the thoughts of people smarter than me would be much better heard, and just maybe those thoughts could be turned into actions. So this morning when I woke up, I was Mia Thermopolis. But now I choose to be forevermore, Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi, Princess of Genovia.

Answer 17

I bet you can find a great one in When Harry Met Sally. o****m scene anyone!? haha jk! but really! it might be a good choice.  Depending on what this is for you might be better off going edgier than those movies but from meangirls... when they are in the gym and the girl that says "thats so fetch!" (i forget her name) reads her apology note to everyone would be perfect. I've seen it done and it goes over very well! ^.^

Answer 18

I recommend something from the comedy film "Drop Dead Gorgeous."

Answer 19

Legally blonde is on this site. I hope you find it useful.   http://www.movie-page.com/movie_scripts....

Answer 20

There's this hilarious monologue that Molly Shannon does in the movie Gray Matters. Here it is:

I quit weight watchers. Can you believe it? I quit! Fergie schmergie! I hate fiber. I like mallomars and if Derek isn't going to love me for the tiny amount of cellulite I have on the back of my thighs then **** him. s***w that guy. This is the package ok? It's exactly the same under the wrapping. This is the packages, no exchanges, no returns. Right? Why does our society push us to be perpetually uncomfortable with who we are. It's so messed up! Wanna know why?

[reading from a magazine]

"Boost your buttocks and thighs. Luscious Liposuction. Flawless face lifts." That's why. Enough is enough. We need to stop letting society and media and our religious leaders delegate who we are. You're amazing and I'm even more amazing and anybody who doesn't get it can s***w themselves...

[sigh]

That felt fantastic.

Answer 21

i know its cheesy but try britney spears' movie, crossroads.. if ur ever looking for sumthing serious id definitely say girl/interrupted.. any part of it is great..!