I need a good advise about my marriage!! please help me!!! ?

Question

Well me and my husband didn't have the perfect marriage but it was because I was always holding it down, I was always the one that had to say yes to everything, well one weekend I need it to breath and to leave, i was just so tired of the same BS, but I left him then I saw that he didn't call me so I follow some advise that I had to make him miss me and he will call at least for his son that I took. He never called, a week after I left him, I was debasteded, my sister had to drag me out of the hotel to go places, on saturday I saw him with a girl holding her waist, I went up to him and pushed him, the girl was surprised and left him standing there, his friends were waiting for him outside so I bet he was going to take her somewhere else, on saturday I saw him with another girl, he has holding her hand, then on Sunday we kinda talked, and made up, then I saw on his phone that he was talking to a 3rd girl and he was calling her babe and cutie, asking her to the movies and that he wanted her to fix him mexican food, he said he never planned to go over and take her out, he choose to sleep better tham to go out with her, but I think he just felt asleep, I felt so bad, that instead of h im calling me he went out and had fun and got over me so fast, calling other girls by the same nicknames that he uses for me!! now everytime I see him I wonder whats if the argument was more than just a week, what would of him done? whats if he liked those girls better than me? he is probably looking for a mexican girl to cook for him I don't know how to cook mexican food! why didn't he called me? everytime I try talking to him he walks away, starts yelling and leaves or mocks me and makes fun of me seen me cry, or just goes to sleep, he never takes me serious, he says that he doesn't want me out of the house because it's embarassing going out with me because am pretty and he doesn't want people seen me, but with other girls he didn't mind been seen with, he never takes me out but to the other girl he was asking her to teh movies! he also says that am stupid and a B***, that am dumb and then he says that am ugly, then he says that am not worth it, it's always negative comments about me, I can't take it anymore, I can't believe he changed so much over the weekend, I can't be ok with him, I can't forgive him, but at the same time I don't want to loose my husband, I feel like it's my fault that i caused him to change and I could change him back, but I can't take it any more by his side I get scared as lately he has gotten really violent and I feel ugly and not worth his time, like right now he was begging me to come and sleep on the couch because he didn't wanna be with me and than he looks into my eyes and says that he is tired and bored of me, I ask him to leave than he says he loves me and wants to work it out, when I try to tell him how I feel he goes off and makes me feel like I am causing this to happen, I don't know what to do, my mom wants me to be with him and my friends to leave him but am so confused.

Answer 1

first.......its not your fault that he's changed to the way he is now. you can't control things like that.

this sounds to me like if the two of you want to work this out, then a minister/pastor/priest should be consulted and/or professional marriage counseling.

I hope things work out the way you want.

Answer 2

There is no time my dear where you will live a smooth marriage life you have to exprerience some ups and downs but all the same you have to acknowledge the presence of the lord always then you must play your role as a wife and ensure that you are satisfying your husband sexually remember this is what makes our husband to start moving out(s*x) another thing is you must be always presentable keep yourself and your house should be clean.  by doing this am sure your husband will not have any reason to move out with girls.as for the time being sit down with him and try to see where the problem is coming from then solve. i wish you good.

Answer 3

you know your answer, and you are right.  you need to face the end of this chapter of your life, and move on to the next.  it is obvious that this man is not going to maintain a commitment to you or anyone else.  it is time to end this roller-coaster ride.  stop letting him talk you into believing that you still have a chance of working this out,  it's over.  i know this is going to be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life, but this is your opportunity to prove your strength.  prove to the world that you are a woman of commitment,  commit to accepting this new life and love the adventure of creating it in your own way.  blessings and light to you.

Answer 4

My advice to you is something you don't want to hear - divorce this loser and get on with your life without him. I don't treat people I love like this, not even on my worst day. We all have free will and I don't believe for one minute that it's your fault he has changed, he did that all by himself. We can react to how people are treating us but we don't change our whole personality, that's a cop out and excuse for being abusive. Get some help and support from your family, friends, etc. to leave him. Good Luck.  

Answer 5

     u   =        your veryvery qute some body this myanswer

Answer 6

What's to be confused about? You know he's seeing other girls, treats you worse than a dog and thinks you should be acceptive of it. Divorce his no good *** and tell your mom she's about as crazy as he is.

Answer 7

Your so young and pretty!  That's about normal with new young relationships-especially newly weds. Marriage life or b/f g/f relationships is extremely hard and complicated. Try not to make things worse or any harder than what it is!  Its like you are pouring more gasoline into the fire. Don't make matters worse.  Life is a hard choices-a learning experience.  You learn from your mistakes and take in the consequences and just make the best of it!  Thats all you can do!  Try hanging out with other married couples within the family relatives and see how they manage to make it work beautifully.

Answer 8

If he loved you in the past...he has obviously stepped on his heart. Whatever you guys got into to make you leave is still there. Maybe he had these girls in the background waiting to surface at the first opportunity...Now it appears that he's in control of the relationship and you are in the cold. He's doing these girls or has in the past (very likely). If that is the case, do you still want him back? I feel bad for you...nobody gets married with this as the plan...Maybe you should ask him what he wants to do with the relationship. He can't keep you in limbo...what of his parents? Did they treat each other like that? Take Care

Answer 9

My darling one, dont be confused any longer! This guy has big time insecuritites issues and that is why he acts as if he's better than you. Let him go act that way somewhere else and you will see how fast any girl will get rid of him. Love is not suppsed to hurt and staying in this torture will brake your spirit, if it already has not happen. Please let this boy go so he can learn how to respect. Otherwise he will never stop acting so insensitive.If he realizes his mistakes and shows a change then work it out with him cause you do love him.Good Luck! Do not ever let anyone put you down ,no matter how much you care,because it will et worst and no lesson will be learned.Only pain and suffering you will endure.

Answer 10

To have left, you must have obviously had a good reason. Don't blame this on yourself. For him to have moved on so quickly, it sounds like he may have started this before you left. Sounds like he is manipulating you big time. If he loves you, he wouldn't try to make you feel bad. He's just keeping you on a string by coming back and telling you that he loves you. Sounds like you were right to leave him when you did. You deserve better than that. Just leave him alone.

Answer 11

He didn't "change"..he was always this way. You just didn't know it. The only way you will ever have a good husband is if you get rid of this one and find a better one. It may take a while but you will be happier in the end. Your husband will never give you the respect you deserve....dump him for good.