I need a good clean joke thats actually funny?

Question

only jokes that would make a middle schooler laugh

Answer 1

The Old Cowboy

A tough old cowboy from south Texas counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103 when he died.

He left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 15 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

---------

A man walks into a saloon carrying a cat. He places him on the bar

and announces, "This cat can talk.......I'll take any bet he can repeat whatever you say!" Suddenly patrons in the saloon began placing money on the bar as bets. The cat was told to repeat several words but it remained silent. After several bets, the man paid off the bets

and walked outside with cat.

"Why didn't you talk?" he asked," I Iost a lot of money in there." ... "Yeah,"says the cat, "but think what the odds will be when we go back in there tomorrow!"

---------

What do Attila the Hun and Kermit the Frog have in common?

Duff: What?

Dink: They share the same middle name.

Answer 2

"What kinda cheese don't belong to you?"

"NACHO CHEESE!"  

LOL!