Hi, we were assigned a project in which we had to write a creation myth. This is mine. I was hoping that you all could read it and foremost, give me a very detailed grammar check, and maybe tell me what you think. Also if you think I could phrase something better that please tell me.
As part of the assignment, we had to make sure that our myths fulfilledd four purposes.
1. Instill Awe about the world
2. Support Native American customs
3. Guide people (morally)
4. Explain something about the world
-Please read the story and tell me if you think it does this.
I know that this story is rather lengthy, but if you could find it in your heart to help someone like me with their paper, please read and check it. This would help me out so much. After all who better to come to than the Yahoo Answer community. Anyways thanks in advance. -Ben
Here is my story:
The Origin of the Rivers
In the beginning, before men, there were many powerful gods. The gods had lived for a countless amount of years in the spirit world, when they grew tired of their world and wanted to create a new one. The gods quarreled over what it would be like, what would inhabit it, and more importantly, who would create it.
The eldest god called together a great council of twelve of the wisest gods. The eldest god explained that the new world would be created by the most astute and athletic of the gods. The council decided upon a series of trials to determine the most able of body and sound of mind. After careful thought and consideration of the competition by the council, the great ones decided upon three tasks that would test each competitor’s abilities.
Alas, after much thought and careful planning, the eldest god called together a meeting of the tribe. “First,†said the great chieftain with much authority and sternness, “the most gallant of this mighty tribe will assemble when day breaks three moons from this hour.†The entire tribe began to talk among themselves, wondering who would participate in the trials to come.
On the day of the trials, ten of the bravest and most powerful warrior gods assemble before the great council of elders. The elders explained that in the trial the gods would have to run across the Great Desert of Endumortus, climb the mountain of Great Riddilus, and finally answer correctly the riddle of transcendence. The competitors marveled at the difficulty of the challenge. The competitors lined up at the beginning of the desert and began to run. Many grew weary after a short amount of time and could no longer compete. Only six gods were left after the desert crossing, still the most difficult challenge remained as they began to ascend the great mountain. When they reached the summit, only three were left. They were the gods Buenos, Medianus, and Malus.
As the three warriors stood atop the summit, the great spirit Riddilus appeared before them. He was adorned in a large headdress. He said, “What are two things that one can never eat for breakfast?â€Â. All three gods thought for some period of time and replied in unison, “Lunch and dinner.†Riddilus smirked at the cleverness of the warriors. He then lifted the three gods and placed them upon his back. He flew to the foothills of the mountain where the council of elders awaited the return of the victorious warrior.
The elder council was shocked that three gods had completed the task. They had only anticipated one god to complete such a rigorous course. The eldest god called for a immediate meeting with the council members to decide what to do with the victors. After a brief discussion, they decided to allow all three members to work on the new world. The elders saw potential in each of them that could be combined to form a better world than could be made by a single god.
Medianus and Buenos were fine with the new arrangements, but Malus thought that he could create a better world without the help of the others. However, Malus did not show this rage and instead pretended as though he was satisfied with cooperating with Medianus and Buenos.
Then the council then left the triumvirate to themselves. The three began to talk about what should be in the world and what should not. Medianus began to form the new world. As he did this, he also created rocks, dirt, plants, animals, as well as the rain. He also created a creature to inhabit this new place, man. Malus sees this and begins to hate this new creature. Malus thought for a short time and eventually Malus began to work. He started a drought, as he was of the crooked mind and could only take away and not create. The drought took away the many good things that Medianus had given man.
Buenos however, liked man and wanted to help him. Buenos could not take away the drought as it was started by a god of equal standing. Buenos began to ponder a solution to this problem. He went down to visit this new world. As Buenos arrived, he began to hear the cries of suffering and pain caused by Malus’ drought. He watched as whole groups of people vanished from the lack of Medianus’ rain. He also watched as he saw animals die and plants wither from the heat and lack of water. Buenos sat upon a rock and started to think of a way to help the poor creatures.
Buenos sat on the same rock for many days, contemplating the problem at hand. Buenos needed a way to bring water to these people, without them having to rely on the rain. Buenos eventually came up with the idea to create the oceans. He walked to the middle of the desert and began to fill it with a vast amount of water. This restored life to the surrounding lands. Buenos was very happy with his creation. He was so happy that in fact he stayed on the new world to wait for man to see what he had made.
When man first gazed upon the oceans, he was in awe of the endless supply of water. The many people ran to the shore of the ocean to drink from the newly found wealth. The people delighted in the taste of the refreshing water. This angered Malus. As the new world blossomed and became full of life, Malus became more discontent. Malus began to think of a way to outdo what Buenos had made. Malus decided that he would taint the water with salt.
Man went about his life happily. The ocean provided all the water they would need in times of drought. However this would not last. Malus poisoned all of the world’s water with the wretched salts. This killed the plants and it also made the water undrinkable. Man began to panic at the thought of life without the precious gift that Buenos had bestowed upon them.
Buenos was furious with what Malus had done to his creation. Buenos knew however that he could not tamper with the work of another god. Buenos quickly thought of a plan to create a source of water that could not be touched and that would spread throughout the entire land. Buenos then separated the ground and filled this void with fresh water. He then walked along the water and it flowed. Buenos then proclaimed his new creation to man. He called this new body of water “the river“. He was happy with his river and so was man. The world once again flourished and man was able to use the power of the river to travel on canoes and to fish.
Malus was once again angered by what Buenos had done. Malus tried to poison the river, but any salt that he put into it, would simply flow down the river and into the ocean. Buenos was enraged by Malus’ actions. He was determined to stop Malus’ attempts to ruin the world.
Buenos called upon Medianus to assist him with Malus. Medianus agreed to help and they both began to search for Malus. They found him lying on the beach of the great ocean that he had destroyed. Medianus and Buenos both lifted him, and they threw him into the middle of the ocean. Malus tried to stay afloat, but he gave up after a short while. He then sunk to the cold dark bottom of the ocean.
After Malus was killed the world continued to grow. Man was thankful of the good things that Buenos had given them. The people all across the land began to thank Buenos. They sang and danced like the current in the river to praise him. Buenos promised man that he would watch over the water of the world. Buenos became known as “The River Spirit†of the new world that he had helped to create.
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