I need a guy's point of view on this.....HELP!?

Question

So my boyfriend and I like each other a lot, or so he says. I really like him and we have been through a lot and have managed to pull through it together and even get back together after two messy break ups , but one thing has never changed evresince the first time we started dating.... when he calls me ha barely says a word while I hold up the conversation. I mean I am always talking and it just gets really tough because for once I would like him to hold up some of the convo , but everytime I ask him to then he just says " nah, I'm a good listener" but I don't want to talk all about me and what I have to say all the time. I mean he is always the one who is getting off the phone with me first because he says he's tired or something. And when he can't call me because of a problem when he is grounded or something he will barely talk to me on the internet. He says he likes me a lot and he even tells me he loves me. But if he does then why does he not get excited to talk to me just as

Answer 1

Wrong category unless you are playing in the fantasy boyfriend league. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Girls like to talk more then guys,and they NEED to talk more then guys...My wife talks on the phone for hours with her friends,but just minutes with me,and that's the way I like it!

So,I think he's just being a normal guy.....

~~Good Luck!~~

Answer 3

You know him better than I do but persoanly I do not like talking on the phone much.  I prefer to talk face to face and he may feel the same. You are able to see facial expressions better and "read" wha the other person is really saying. It sounds like you two have been through a lot and I would not let this become a problem.

Answer 4

You are 3 hours away from him so why not explore other options and test your relationship? Go out with "freinds" that are guys and see if you have a better connection with them. If he doesn't talk that often then you can't share laughs with him and truely see who he is. It is obvious that your heart is not satisfied, and this is love, not a job, everything should be perfect.

Answer 5

Why did you ask this question here?

Answer 6

Alright, my kind of topic.  :)

As a guy in a relationship for the past 2.5 years, I must say I have a growing affinity to your cause.  In my relationship, it is I who is the big blabbermouth.  And there has been countless times where I complain to my gf as to why she doesn't talk when her and I are in conversation over the phone, or even in person.  What I have learned is that some people just like to talk or are more expressive than others.  Some people just don't like to talk.  I know when I talk to my other girl friends (friends who just happened to be girls) I can talk to them for hours and hours and they would be the best, most constructive conversations that I can have with someone.  Does that mean I should ditch my gf so I can test the greener pastures of my friends?  No!  You know why I can talk to my girl friends, but struggle to spark a discussion out of my gf?  Reason #2: I TALK TO HER EVERYDAY.   What is left for me to say and vice-versa?  I'm surprised we can still talk on the phone for about 45 minutes (which is her commute from work).  So the lack of convo is not the only INDICATOR (how's that for a fantasy baseball word, fellas?) as to test the level of relationship.  

A more important indicator (now this is a guy with one relationship of 2.5 years saying this) to test the level of a relationship is what happens when both of you experience conflict because of each other?  Conflict can be direct, indirect, physical, or verbal.  Do you work it out, "toughen it out" if you will, sort each other's differences, learn a bit from each other, etc.... or do you go ahead and deal with "two messy break ups?"  Outside of asking him "Why don't you talk more often when we're on the phone?" are you firm with him when you ask him questions about his lack of participation in your phone convos?  Do you tell him how uncomfortable you feel when he doesn't participate in your phone convos?  Maybe he doesn't know.  If you are assertive with him and telling him that it is a problem, he will understand that this is something you don't like and if he wants to keep you around, changes need to be made.  If he doesn't understand the issue after several attempts to change the way things are, you are entitled to another break up and this time it will have to be for good.    

Now think about this: If I tell my gf that "I'm a good listener" or "Yeah, I'm listening, go on" there's a 50-50 chance that I'm either telling the truth, or I am being preoccupied with something else and she is nothing more than a nuisance, but it is really nice to have her on the other line even though she can't be with me in person.  A long distance relationship?  Yeah, I've seen those before and it's mostly just one person on one end of the line having their phone on their ear, while the other person just talks.  It's a very good feeling to know that the use of technology can give you the illusion that someone who is really far away can seem to be right there with you.

I would advise against the gentelman who said you should go out with your "guy friends."  That's not fair for anybody and if you want to be part of an open relationship, my understanding is that both parties have to agree to some ground rules before you or him are even allowed to date other people.  Dating people behind his back makes you a s**t.  When he does it, he's the MAN, but as a man sympathetic to feminist causes, that guy would be a total man-ho, 100%, no doubt about it.  

I'm not liking the way your relationship is being structured, but I'm not going to tell you to dump the guy.  As someone who is trying to get her education, he might be more of an obstacle to overcome than support.  Give him a few chances more.  I don't know how many more weeks or months, but definitely he's on a short leash.  If things don't improve to your liking, then you need to take drastic action.

Felipe

and for those who want some fantasy baseball advice, here's my calling card:

http://www.ultimatefantasysite.com

One more thing: by the way, LOVE is not PERFECT.  Perfect love is what Hollywood tries to sell you every time they release a film and need to make their money back.  Or PERFECT LOVE is the first two months of your relationship  ;)

Answer 7

Wrong section you idiot.

Judging by how big of a moron you are to post this in the fantasy sports section, i'd say he doesn't like you, never will, and i'm pretty sure he wants to break up with you.