I need a little help, if you will..?

Question

A while back I find that my now ex-girlfriend aborted our child and I went clinically insane for Two years and I did indeed try to harm my ex..

Now, I find myself in a date with this lovely lady, very nice and very well-mannered, she's a sweetheart at best, very few of those.. How ever in the same night we find ourselves in her bedroom and things were getting hot, unintentionally of course I became overly aggressive which I have never done and I did hurt her on accident which I did apologize for.

Forgiveness was granted, and it was appreciated, but I can't help but think; Why exactly did I act in that manner? Why did I become so aggressive with her?

Answer 1

Well you are connecting your sexual experience with your new girlfriend to the pain you felt when your old girlfriend had an abortion.  I think that you never solved your feelings regarding your old girlfriend and the feelings that came along with her decision.  You need to work that out first before you get back in the bedroom.  I suggest seeing a counselor or a therapist to work it out since you have the ability to hurt someone, and have already done it.

Answer 2

taking out your frustrations on your beautiful new GF, is not solving your issues you have with your previous GF.  It is not fair nor is it likely that this relationship will last after you have hurt her and violated an intimate trust you had.  You need to back up and deal with your problem with the firsst GF before you go on and get involved with another.  You are going to find that you will hurt all future GFs, until you clear your anger with the first one.  Also you need to keep your p***s in your pants for awhile and develop a friendship with your GF before you get hot and heavy.  Creating a baby is not what life is about, as it is a tremendous responsibility.  If you are not ready to support and be the parent of that child use condom or keep it in your pants.  Create a relationship through trust, not s*x.

randy

Answer 3

Your opinion of yourself is just as important as an opinion of others, including your ex.  Your alias here is "psychotic joker" ...  That's pretty scary.  Clinically insane or not, are you happy with your life? Do you hate women? Are you into playing power games?  And did she really forgive you, or was she scared of you so she told you she did? Why would you hurt a sweet lovely lady?

Think back in time... Why did your ex abort? Was she scared of raising a child with you? Was she scared you didn't love her and she'd be raising the child alone?  Did you want to kill her when you tried to harm her?  This is some serious stuff we're talking about here...

Obviously, I'm asking questions rather than providing answers. I think the answer is inside of you, if you dare to find it.  A therapist could help you find it and may also be able to identify if you have an issue that needs to be addressed before you unintentionally hurt anyone else.

The fact that you are asking the question is very reassuring.  

Look to both inside and outside causes of your agression.  How was your childhood and life?  Do you watch agressive p**n?  Maybe pay attention to when you get angry or agressive and try to determine the root cause reasons...

I believe you will be fine, because you are seeking a solution.  Be strong and allow yourself to actually discover the answers you seek...

Answer 4

Are you still mad at the ex, taking it out on your new partner?

Answer 5

I think that you unconsciously was thinking about your ex. I feel that unless you talk to the new "friend" about what happened you will always think about your ex. I also think that you should not do anything with any girl for a while. What people do is they jump into things and just think if you and this girl try it again...and you hurt her bad...you could go to jail.

Laying off sexual contact with girls would really benefit you. I'm not saying you should never go out on dates. Go on dates, after about 4 dates, tell her exactly what has happened, and then if you guys are still together after about 7 dates, I think you should be over what had happened with your ex.

What happened will always hurt you. But I feel that if you talk to the person that you are having sexual intercourse with before you do...then you wont think about your ex and get angry.

Answer 6

You obviously still have hard feelings toward your ex. The same thing happened to a mate of mine whose gf just up and aborted a child he didn't know about.

In that situation (not that I believe i Have ever been through it) it would be very hard to trust a woman. Hitting them or hurting them is not the answer as both you and I know hitting or hurting a woman phsyically, emotionally or psychologically is wrong.

I think what you need to do is go and get some help with your agression. In saying that I am not saying you're a bad person unless you have pure intent to hit a woman.

Go and see a councillor or a psych and talk things through. I know when my ex cheated on me with an ex mate of mine on several occassion I forgave her and it was just a vicious cycle. I never had intent to hurt her, him yes but not a woman cause that's just wrong. She lucked out when I got custody of the 3 kids, so in the end I won. But to an extent in the end she won some because even tho I am with the best thing that ever happened to me, I still have a mistrust of women (even tho I do trust my current partner) little things will set me off and hurt me and I react completely different than I ever have (never phsyically) I just tend to over think the situation to the point where I am down and out and we argue and I try to prove a point.

Not all women are like that. Tell her exactly how you feel, what happened and talk to her about it and also try and book in the see a councillor.

Good luck, and remember never resort to phsyical, emotional or psychological violence.

Answer 7

if you carry on in this way without getting help of some sort, you will lose this lady. of that there is no doubt.

you need to find a good therapist to discover exactly why you act like this and how to resolve it.

she may forgive you once but no one would (or should) put up with that sort of behaviour.

♣

Answer 8

You intelectually realize that not all women are the same and that each is an individual, just like this lovely sweet Lady.

Emotionally U have grouped them as all the same, and as Prof Icy stated, U need help to work through this, cuz it may not happen on it's own. You want to get back to enjoying healthy relationships and the ability to celebrate and enjoy a lovely lady instead of having a monster jump out of yur closet when the most joyous thing should be happening in the bedroom instead.

Get help from yur psyhchologist to work this through with U, and wishing the best for U Dude.

Me! :- )  

Answer 9

The answer to this is simple. You are still a complete nutter. And, since you probably realise this fact all by yourself... you know you need to seek help so that you can get your life back into some resemblance of normality and really enjoy the company of the lovely ladies you seem to so passionately attracted to, for longer than a few minutes before you flip out again.