Ok, So my aim is to get out there and meet people; I'm trying to break out my Chloe soft shell. Yesterday, I went with my cousins and sisters into my town and I looked like ****; Absolutely ****. I don't remember the last time I got my hair did, got a pedicure, got a manicure, or bought a new outfit. I never do anything for myself; I'm so busy taking out my time to help people because that's what I like to do. I saw the things and clothes that my cousins and sister were wearing and I wished I could have nice clothing and things to wear especially around guys and people like they did. Yesterday, my hair was brushed down; Like always and it had no style in it, I had on a tee-shirt, and some jeans; With clogs. I didn't know that I'd meet guys with them at the store; They always meet guys somewhere. People don't know that I exist because I never get out there and meet people; I'm very shy when it comes to people. I have very, very, very low self-esteem about myself. So, I cried last night because I want to feel good about myself; I just made 20 years old a few weeks ago. I shouldn't be looking and dressing the way I did around people yesterday. I don't have the money to do all these things and I wished I did. I made a promise last night, that I wouldn't step-foot out this house to go anywhere with friends; Unless my hair is did and I had on a nice outfit. Friday's the Jamboriee at my old high school;Me and my friends usually go to have fun,meet old friends, and make new ones. Of course, guys will be there and I don't want them to see me like I was yesterday. I'm not even going because I hate the way I look and dress around people. :( :( :( I'm trying to build up my confidence and self-esteem around people; How can I do that when I can't even do nice things for myself?
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