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Question

My bf of 5 yrs has a really bad temper. He throws things, drives like crazy, beats the dog. Somehow i see it happening to me one day (him being violent to me)....

Did anyone of you dated/married a violent person? what happened?

Or just say anything you like regarding this matter =)

Thanks.

Answer 1

This guy has some serious anger issues, its the dog at the moment who is at the wrong end of his temper , but he will eventually get round to you, he will always say sorry and that it wont happen again,but it will, then one day if you have a family together, he will more than likely start on the children.You should get out now before it is to late, if he tells you he will change don't believe him.

Answer 2

sometimes when we have been with someone for a long time, we grow to accept them and think the things they do are just normal.

this is not the case.

violence towards animals and domestic violence are indisputably linked. there is a direct correlation.

get out, and protect your animal. they have no way of defending themselves.

Answer 3

Is it worth it to have a boyfriend who obviously scares you? Who hurts animals? I think you should move out, but if you don't want to do that, think about this:

When he's in a good mood, ask him if he agrees that he has anger management problems. If he agrees, then maybe there's hope. He has to go to an anger management program right away (even if it's inconvenient). If you can afford it or have insurance, find a therapist. Otherwise try calling a domestic violence hotline and asking them how you can find a free anger management program for your boyfriend.

If however he does not admit to a problem or refuses to address the problem, then it's time to end the relationship, unless you want to live in fear and probably danger.

Answer 4

Drop this loser.

Who the hale beats their dog? Imagine him if he had children...

Answer 5

Raven,

You deserve better than this.  Everyone does.  

Please take your dog and get out of this situation and do not go back.  

I know it's hard but life was not meant to be this scary and sad.  

Good luck to you and I will be pulling for you.

Answer 6

get out now please,he will never change,except one day it will be a baby and you that he is beating up instead of the dog

Answer 7

No, I didn't date anyone like this, but my dad was always that way when I was growing up.  It was really bad for quite some time, and I lived in constant fear--even now I have a lot of fear to deal with when it comes to certain situations.  Like, I don't actually believe that there are a lot of guys who just have it out for me, but sometimes I get scared of being in the same room alone with a man if he's bigger than me at all...And I do have a temper myself, which I try really hard to control unless I am completely alone.  So, the effects of living with a violent person are not good.  If I were you, I'd get away from this guy and tell him that if he loves you at all, he needs to find a way to control his temper because he scares you.  Tell him how it makes you feel when he is behaving that way--it's more likely to get him to see how his behavior affects you and if he knows you are scared, maybe (if he isn't completely crazy) he won't want you to feel that way.  Otherwise, just completely cut off all contact with him and take the dog with you.  That is the only way to go sometimes.

Answer 8

You need to get out before your with him any longer and it gets even harder for you to leave him. Even if he doesn't hurt you physically one day it will be emotionally wounds can heal on the skin but when they touch your heart they are always there. You deserve a caring wonderful person that respects you and the things around him. There are plenty of wonderful guys in the world that would be perfect for you. God has a special person for everybody. It may take time but you will find someone worth waiting for. You don't need a guy like you have now. It just bad for you. I hope everytyhing works out for you and for the best.

Answer 9

What kind of sick freak beats their dog?? wtf?

Answer 10

Step 1: Ensure your emotion is controlled daily. Don't over reacted, stay calm and don't get worry easily

Step 2: Think before your action. Don't repeat her past experience on herself. Remind herself from time to time.

Step 3: Be confident to yourselves. Remember everyone is the winner. "Only One sperms out of millions fertilize an egg"

Step 4: Get a group of close friends to share your experience and get some activities that would occupied your time

Step 5: Increase scope of life. Meaning that she should involve in more social activities like dancing, outing and others.

Step 6: Put a rubberband on the wrist. If there is a negative thought, Tighten the rubber band and release it. Hence the effect of the pain would be able to reduce the possibility of negative thought.

Good Luck.

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Good Luck.

You may read more articles of mine through

Besides, If you have more psychological problem, please write to me at

http://drgeorgeleow.blogspot.com/

Answer 11

get out of this relationship now! he obviously has no compassion for anything and just think, what may happen if you had kids one day and they did something wrong and made him mad? GET OUT if you have any brain cells at all! my dad beat my mo and almost killed me when she was pregnant with me. he pushed her down stairs. if you want to live like that then by all means, go 4 it. i wouldnt go down that road. i lived it. my fiance would never dare raise his hand to me or the dog! he has what is called patience and LOVE

Answer 12

It has been pretty much proved that if a person mistreats animals,

they will have the likelihood of abusing women and children.

How attached and involved are you with this man?  If you really feel a chance for rehabilitation, you may try talking to him.  

Be careful though.  Who knows for sure what can trigger an angry response.  He may feel like you are trying to impose you will on him.  He may respond by losing his temper.  

If he does, get out of the relationship now!  

Don't ever delusion yourself into thinking that he will change or that you will change him.  There is a slim possibility that he could.  But this will be at the expense of time, mental health, and probably physical health.

Getting some counseling for yourself.  You probably have some feelings of loss about this or other kinds of thoughts.  Do let this be detrimental to the life ahead of you.  

If you don't have money or insurance to see a professional, check into community support agencies or faith-based sources.  I am sure that there are some in  your area.  You might start with calling the YWCA if there is one nearby.  Even going to a local church you may find a pastor, preist, or rabbi who has a listening ear.

I am bipolar.  When I was in a manic episode, I would become very angry.  I would break things, put holes in the wall, and verbally or physically hurt the ones  I loved. Now, I never was cruel to animals, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything either.  At the time I didn't know that I was bipolar.

Things eventually came to a head for me.  Maybe I was feeling guilty for what I had done.  Maybe I was so upset with myself that I couldn't see any possible remedy.  I tried to take my life.  Because of the help I got after that incident, I got into a program (and stuck with it) that included medication, counseling, and  God.  (The last one on that list may not be for you if you are not a religious person.  I am just saying that is working for me.)  I am doing reall well now.  My wife (of 35 years) says that I am real mellow now.  My kids can't believe that I am the same guy.

Do what YOU have to do for YOURSELF.  A person may not be able to control everything in their life.  But a person can learn to cope with those things that they can't change.

God bless.  Go with the grace of God.

I just read your additional details from 2 hours ago.  I am very concerned for you.  If he has threaten harm to you, get out now with your dog.  

If it is your house or apartment,get out anyways.  Don't hesitate to get the authorities involved.  Any embarassment that you may think you will feel if you do this can't compare to any physical harm or mental anguish that may come your way.  

If there is a chance for reconciliation or for him to get help, do it on YOUR terms.  Don't go back to him unless you are accompanied by family or friends.  If he wants to talk with you, do it over the phone,  at someone else's house, or in public.  Don't find yourself alone with this guy.

As much as you may love this guy,  he sounds dangerous and unpredictable.  It will do no good for either of you if he hurts or threatens you again.

I saw this same scenario years ago when I was growing up.  The man across the street would come home drunk and beat up on his wife and kid.  She even had another kid by him.  Eventually, the wife would leave house with her kids before he  came home and go to her  mother's.  This continued for years and she never left him.  When their daughter grew up she got into an abusive relationship herself.  A child can be greatly affected by his or her's environment and upbringing.  Some awful things can become generational being passed on from parent to child.

You sound concerned about your future children.  Do this for them now.

God be with you.

Answer 13

Get the h**l OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP now!! Don't look back. Just get out.