I need abortion advice..?

Question

I really don't want to hear from people who are going to d**n me to h**l or call me a murderer. I am married with 2 children ages 2 & 3.. I am about 12 weeks pregnant. My husband left me a few weeks ago & I recently found out he had a girlfriend, who is also pregnant by him. I know I cannot afford a child nor do I need one at this time in my life. If you were in my shoes would you have an abortion? & for those who have had one what is it really like? Is it very painful? Do you regret having one? & do you have an estimate of how much this is going to cost me? I'm very afraid and could really use some advice.

Answer 1

If I was in your shoes I would have an abortion It takes two people to make a baby because it takes @ least 2 people to care for one

Anyone who preaches to you adoption, please inquire how many adopted children they have, & wheather or not they have seen the state of foster homes as well as the statistics on homes of children without fathers

I have had one, it was non-evasive I took a pill It was painful for a few hours, and emotionally draining for a little while after that I do not regret it at all for several reasons The first being I was on birth control & did not want to get pregnant The second being that I dont think anyone (man or women) should be forced into having children they are not financially or emotionally ready for

Planned parenthood will give you all the figures, and your options I am SO sorry this happened to you All the best

Answer 2

If I were in the situation, I would just put the child up for adoption. I'm 14 weeks along right now, and while I know it wouldn't be an easy situation, I could not imagine having an abortion and not giving this little one a chance at life.

From what I have heard, pain varies from woman to woman - some have severe pain/death and some have slight cramping and bleeding like a period.

Some people regret having abortions, some do not - it all depends on your personality, whether you really want one or not - if you dont really want an abortion and you get one, you will regret it and you will feel horrible.

Abortions in the second trimester (which is where you would be considered ) Run from $600 - $6,000 depending on where you live.

*edit* I don't know why I got all the thumbs down, I answered each part of the question that she asked, with factual information from places like Planned Parenthood.

Answer 3

I can't tell you what to do you need to do what is right for your family and only you know that. Getting and abortion does make you feel guilty but for how long depends on the kind of person you are. It is not painful but you do feel discomfort and depending of where you have it done it will cost from 350 and up Good Luck sweetie  

Answer 4

12 WEEKS??? Do you realize your baby already has all it's organs, eyes, nose, a mouth that has even started making sucking motions, even it's fingers and toes. It is already kicking and stretching. It's hands are opening and closing. If you push on your belly, it will respond by squirming..bc it can feel it!!!.  It is alive and a tiny human being.  How can you say " my other two kids were worthy of living but not this one"  Don't be selfish, give it up for adoption. There are people that want children so badly they are willing to pay for the entire thing. I know you are worried but don't kill your unborn child bc your husband is a jackass, give it a chance at life.  

Answer 5

Im 16 and im pregnant by my boyfriend.Though i dont like bringing this up i think it might help you or make you understand my point a little better.In june my boyfriend cheated on me (knowing i was pregnant) and left me and our child for another girl.Abortion was the last thing on my mind.After a couple days he called and talked to me and we have things worked out now.My friend had an abortion over a year ago and to this day it still haunts her and makes her depressed.Honestly not just because im anti-abortion i think itd be better if you were a surrogant mother and allowed your child to be adopted out.Then your baby will be with people who are willing to take care and love your child and you wont have the guilt or anything like that on your shoulders.I dont know if this helps any but i do wish you good luck.

Answer 6

Abortion is a very personal choice. I would say don't abort but that is my opinion. I have had a D & C due to miscarriage and it is the same thing. How much it costs depends on your state. Probably around $500. It doesn't hurt, they sedate you but the cramping can be very bad after and then it is like a really bad period. Also, because you are so far along you would have to go to a special clinic, it may cost more and be more uncomfortable. Like I said, it is a personal choice but I urge you to think long and hard about this because you cannot change your mind later. I also ask that you read about how far developed your baby already is and what you are doing. I understand you are in a very hard situation but you were given this baby for a reason.

Answer 7

I'm sorry about your situation. I'm sure this is not an easy choice to make.

At 12 weeks, your only option in terms of abortion is a surgical suction curettage/aspiration. You are too far along for a medical abortion.

You can be put under, although it's not really necessary. The cervix is numbed with an injection, and the contents of the uterus are aspirated. It feels like light tugging or heavy menstrual cramps. The procedure takes under 15 minutes, plus 30 or more minutes in recovery. It costs between $200 - $500+ at a clinic, more if you decide to have it preformed in a hospital. The longer the pregnancy, the more an abortion costs.

Good luck with whatever decision you chose.

Answer 8

please don't. Look to your family for support, and his.  

Answer 9

YOU WAITED TOO LONG, CANT GET ONE NOW, SO SUCK IT UP AND JUST GO AFTER HIM FOR CHILD SUPPORT.. GET SOME FOOD STAMPS.. WIC ... MEDICAID... AND THEN GET SOME HELP WITH DAY CARE AND GET A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIFE WILL GET BETTER PROMISE... AFTER YOU SEE YOUR CHILD DEAD AT 19 WEEKS YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO KILL YOUR CHILD.....

Answer 10

Convenience, convenience, convenience......how about adoption? I don't understand how you could have two babies and want to end a third merely because your life took a turn for the worst. I really feel sorry for you about your situation, but killing your unborn child is not the answer. Please please please think of adoption. It might not be the easiest solution, but when is the right answer ever the easiest?

Answer 11

Adoption could always be a possibility.  My friend had an abortion over 10 years ago, and is still seeing a counselor because she cannot deal with it.  I went with her and it did hurt her, she was stayed with my parents and I, and was in a lot of pain.  I would chose adoption, atleast you are giving the baby to a family that would love to have a child.  You just have to think of your choices you have and don't make any quick decisions, especially one that seems like the easiest solution...because it has very bad long term emotional effects.  Good Luck.

Answer 12

Well, I am very sorry you are experiencing this.  An abortion is such a permanent thing.. and at 12 weeks, you're pretty much at the cut off point.  I can't say what I would do if I was in your shoes but I'd definitely PRAY ON IT!  "Take it to the Lord with Prayer!"

I have done some reading and I was not aware that abortions were this graphic.  They basically put a small surgical knife in you, slice up the baby into chunks and then vacuum it out.  Can you live with that?

There are so many options for you.. so many waiting adoptive parents..  Please, just think this out before you do something that you will regret.

Honestly, since you asked... Most likely, I would never get an abortion.. no matter what the circumstance... notice I said "Most likely" because ya just never know.

GOOD LUCK!  And definitely think about some birth control for the future :)

Answer 13

I'm so sorry for your situation. Don't listen to anybody, do what you think is best! It does not hurt that much like a period, and depending what state you are in it is up to $500, but in NY it is $75-125. You might qualify for free check with your local planned parenthood. honestly I think you would feel worse if you kept the pregnancy and had to deal with that and all the other stuff that is going on in your life. Concentrate on you and those 2 kids you have, they need you to be strong for them and you need them.

also you can have an abortion up to 20+weeks, but you can do the standard terminination procedure up to 16 weeks.

Answer 14

if there is no medical reason for the abortion, then maybe you ought to go ahead and have him/her and put them up for adoption, you could make some couple very happy, and you wouldnt have to worry about feeling horrible afterwards, or living with "what if " and at the same time give the child a chance at life. to be whatever he/she can be.

Answer 15

well i understand how u feel aboutt the 'girlfriendnd'' thing.

but remeber,what if u were the baby.

maybe ur kids would love a baby in the house???????

Answer 16

I have had an abortion, but for much different reasons to yourself (poor prenatal diagnosis).

I was given 2 options: medical abortion, or surgical abortion.

Surgical abortion:

they place a sponge on your cervix the day before the abortion, and leave it there. You go back in the next day and they either knock you out, or give you a local. They force your cervix open, and scrape the fetus out.

Medical abortion:

They give you a couple of pills (Mifigyn). Two days later you go in to hospital and they place several pills directly on your cervix. Labour is induced, and the fetus passes naturally

I was 13 weeks, and I did it because I loved my child, and couldn't bare the thought of carrying a doomed fetus, and letting him die in pain at full term. At 13 weeks, he was 11cm long, 50g in weight, and he had toe nails, finger nails, eyelids etc. I would strongly recommend you go through adoption process instead, or you try and get support from your family for the extra child. I am so sorry that you are going through what your husband has done to you.

But, if you do decide to have an abortion, I recommend the medical (it's what I had), and your body can heal quicker, because the process is inducing what the body would have done naturally. Also as far as pain goes, it is not much worse than having bad period pains ~ you've had 2 children, it won't be worse than that. During the medical abortion, though, you do have full contractions, and you still have to push!!! Also I would suggest that you seek councelling post-abortion. Even women who thought they would feel nothing still grieve.

Good luck to you in whatever decision you make.

Answer 17

i am truly sorry about your situation. i hope you are in a state that will do an abortion after 12 weeks. if you have insurance an abortion may be covered. if not, it will probably cost around 600 dollars, possibly more because of how far along you are. i wish you the best of luck!

Answer 18

please do NOT have an abortion, this baby could be the one thing that keeps you together, take care of yourself and surround yourself by family and friends that love and adore you to help you through this difficult time in your life, that baby already has a heart beat.....you can do it, have the baby and forget about your Ex...

at the end of the day its your decision and no one has the right to judge you on whatever your decision is!!

best of luck

xo

Answer 19

could you get child support from that idiot? maybe save money in other areas to be able to afford the child. if not, you could carry it and put it up for adoption? at least it will live a good life then. if you do want abortion, then just tell yourself that the baby is in a better place now. good luck.x

Answer 20

It's easy for someone to say what they would or would not do but if they are not in your shoes its not the same. All i can say is think long and hard. I'm sorry for what your husband did to you but its still an innocent baby in you... abortion is not easy. Don't make a decision off impulse. that baby is part YOU!! Good luck!

Answer 21

I had one when I was 16 and I regret it ever since. It did hurt I could feel what they were doing and it wasnt a good feeling and even having my period after then it still hurt a bit. I wouldnt do it again it cost me $450 and I wouldnt do it again. But best of luck to you on what ever you chose to do.  

Answer 22

I had an abortion in California. It cost me $476. It was a vaccuum abortion. Basically you get put under anistetics (sp) put to sleep. When you wake up you are no longer pregnant. Someone has to pick up because you're not suppossed to drive. It is not painful but going through the process can make you feel like a crappy person. I wouldn't reccommend it, but if you feel like you need to. You need to do it fast because you can not get an abortion at four months. I'm not sure when the exact cut off date is though.

Answer 23

Honestly, thinking if I were in your shoes, I would probably be scared to death... but I don't think I could possibly have an abortion. I would seek out all my avenues of support. And DEFINATELY get child support... From all I've ever heard, you will most likely regret getting an abortion and personally, I hope you choose to not get one.

Good luck. God won't give you a new baby, knowing your circumstances, unless He'll make a way for you.

Answer 24

What is wrong with adoption?? Abortion is definitely not the answer. There are so many families who just wish they could have one child and can't.  

Answer 25

hi umm im not sure but i think my friend once was preganant and wanted to get an abortion and she went to the doctors and they enjected her wit a needle to kill the baby but i dont no if it were true but u should give it a true but it could be to late also but idunno its wat i herd...and about ur bf hes a jerk *** face of a father hope everything works out

Answer 26

I had one that was only for medical reasons.  I would have died as would the baby.  I regret it and will regret not trying harder to have that baby for the rest of my life.  When February rolls around, the month it was done, I get very depressed and want to die.  I have to be on antidepressants.  I am suicidal because of it.  And the one thing they don't often tell you is that this depression doesn't even start until about five years after the fact.  I don't know why, but it doesn't.  It affected my behavior and nearly broke my marriage.  I nearly went insane and there was talk of losing my two daughters.  I don't advise it.  I don't advise anything but keeping the baby or giving it up for adoption.  Don't you have anyone who will help you and your daughters through this time so that you can keep this baby?  I hope so.  Please, please think it over very carefully.  Once that baby is gone, you will NEVER have him/her back.  Each year during the month when he/she was supposed to be born, I grieve all over again.  Don't do it.  Please don't do it.

Answer 27

I have never had an abortion so I can't tell you how it feels. I am worried that you are 12 weeks because the first trimester is now over. Most places won't do an abortion after the first is over. If they do then you just need to make sure you are 100% sure you want to. If you feel it is the best thing for you then go ahead.

I do know my friend had one but she was 6 weeks at the time. She cramped like a bad period but otherwise was fine. She also does not regret it. She went into it knowing it was the better and right thing to do in her situation.

Whatever you decide good luck.

Answer 28

There are a couple options and it sounds like you are not 100% for an abortion, which I think is good, I have been blessed to have 3 healthy children and 1 more due in Jan. (last one) but.....plenty of people cannot have one and would love to adopt, there is no shame at all in doing what is best for your child, and probably adoption is better for the child. This is a Dads point of view but this is also from a Dad who would never leave my wife and children. I wish you the best. Let me know if I can help.

Answer 29

Why would you murder this child and not the other 2?

If I were in your shoes I would have the child, divorce the man and move on for my childrens sake.

Answer 30

i know there is a 1800 number you can call about abortions and stuff like that try to google it. umm did u think of adoption? d**n i sorry this happened to you, you can also go to a planned parent hood and get advice i thinkin like 5hundred.

Answer 31

This is a huge decision for you and not one you should come to lightly. You will probably spend the rest of your life wondering what the child would have looked like, was it a boy or girl, etc. I don't say this to make it hard for you, but this is what other women I know still think of years after abortions. It also can be painful. Make sure you go to a clinic that is properly licensed if you are going to do it.

Adoption is another option, but you ultimately need to make the decision for yourself. Don't step into this lightly. I would try to find a counselor to talk to as well, Things may seem desperate now, but circumstances change. On a side note, your husband will have to pay child support, so you shouldn't let finances be the sole reason for your decision.