I need advice, please, dont judge me?

Question

So, My husband and i have been married for 3 years and together for 5 years. For 5 years now i have smoked weed along with him every day. last june i found out i was pregnant. I stopped smoking the day i found out. My husband kept smoking. My son was born in January and my husband promised to quit. He gave away all the things he owned like his bong and bowls and everything. ( i even gave up smoking cigs for my son). My husband smoked only when away from the house with his friends but that only lasted about 2 months. Then he started smoking in the bathroom. Now i know that he is smoking in the house when i am gone. This is really something i dont want my son to grow up around. My husband has had a VERY rough life such as finding his mom dead on the couch at the age of 13 from a crack overdose and i believe that he uses pot to keep his mind straight. Without it he has a really bad temper. He has never hurt me though or the baby. And besides smoking the weed he is wonderful to his son. He plays with him and feeds him he's just really involved with his son. The thing is i really dont want him smoking it. I dont want to leave him because of this because i love him with all my heart and we would have nothing if we didnt have each other. He keeps a job and we keep our bills paid we even have left over money a lot of the time. But when i mention to my husband that i would like for him to stop smoking he tells me " I want to quit to i just dont know how" and i try to help him quit he ALWAYS ends up still smoking. What do i do. He's great with his son, He holds a job, he takes care of us, he just has a bad habbit of smoking weed. How do i get him to stop. Its seriously something i dont want my son around. Im so lost i dont know what to do.

Answer 1

If he wants to quit, he may be willing to enter some sort of rehab program (one that doesn't take him away from home).  If nothing else, tell him to go talk to a doctor.  It will be confidental, and he may be able to give him some tips on how to quit.  

Answer 2

wow you are in the same position as my mom, i am 23 my parents have been together for about 25 years now my mom and dad used to smoke weed and cigs together before me but my mom stopped when pregnant with me and my dad kept the habbit and still to this day he smokes weed only i grew up around it my whole life and it actually had a positive impact in my life because i saw what my dad was like when he didnt have it and he and my mom would fight all the time because of it so i promised myself that i would never try it because of the things i saw them both go through its a shame that he sneaks it in your home maybe if you just accept that he does it but just set rules, my mom did, my dad is only alowed to smoke in the basement(winter time) and absolutly no smokin in the house other than that he can go to the porch or back yard to do it maybe thats what you should do you can email me for more advice desert_eagle50ae@yahoo

Answer 3

Although pot isnt physical addictive it is mentaly it effects dif people diferently u may not have a addictive personality ur hubby may also because of the hardships in his life pot is what makes him feel better much like choclate of shopping for a girl maybe.

you are right to put ur foot down not only is it bad for ur son but also ur husband.He really needs to speak to his doc to get help, if ur afrais he wont take this well say u have been craving it too and ask him to go with u for support so u can do it to gether for ur son- but really this will take a professional good luck!!

Answer 4

give him an ultimatum. its either your family or the weed. you gotta think about your family.

Answer 5

Heyy my dad smokes it to when he stands in the kitchen by the back door and wont let me or my brother in til he's done lol but i suppose he really does wnat to stop and he jst needs a bit more help along the way. you could try going to the doctors and asking for information about places available for people who want to stop. if he really wants to stop, then he would not hesitate to go to them :) good luck for you and your family :) x

Answer 6

I can see that you truly love your husband, and although I do not condone and kind of smoking around children, I do understand your what you are going through. Giving him a ultimatum will only cause friction in your marriage. I found some sites for you to go take a look at. Maybe this will help you.

Good luck!

http://www.quitsmokingmarijuana.org/inde...

http://www.stopsmokingweed.com/index.htm...

http://www.ehow.com/how_2141781_quit-smo...

Answer 7

tell him to stop or you and your baby will leave.

Answer 8

It IS possible (I have several friends who were long-time smokers and can attest to this) but it is not easy which you know - I'm guessing quitting cigarettes wasn't exactly a breeze for you, either.  If he loves you and your family he should say, "I want to quit, I don't know how, but I'll do everything in my power to make it happen".  You will have to be his confidant and be extremely supportive but he needs to know that this is an all or nothing issue.

Answer 9

First marijuana is against the law.

And if that doesnt worry you, how about:

It is against the law.

The both of you are immature, and are wreckless in regards to the law.

Could you image if there is a DRUG bust when you hubby is buying his $10 dollar bag?

He gets the choice of either narc-ing off his buddies, or going to jail for 3 years for being there.

Trying changing your friends,

Joining a health club, and eating better.

Your husband may suffer from bi-polar, and could use medication

Or see a therapist to process those underlying emotions regarding his mother.

Smoking marijuana is against the law, buying it is against the law, and bbeing in possession of it is against the law.

And child protective services will take your child .

Grow up.

Answer 10

You both need professional help.

Answer 11

go see a shrink.

Answer 12

I have had several addictions that are unhealthy for me and I found that going to a hypnotist has worked.  

Answer 13

try outpatient drug therapy. they can give him the tools to quit smoking weed and to deal with the loss of his mother in such a tragic way.

Answer 14

your family doctor maybe able to help you with this, or at least be able to tell you where to find help, and that way you know everything will be kept confidential and they will make sure he stops in way he's not likely to start again.  Good Luck I hope all works out  

Answer 15

ask him to go to NA meetings...

Answer 16

You have to try and get him professional help, like a therapist or some sort of rehabilitation clinic. A therapist would probably be best, because, as you say, he has had a rough life and most likely has a lot of emotional issues that, instead of working through, he covers up by smoking weed. If you can't afford either a therapist or a rehab clinic, go to your local doctor---he can help you find alternatives that you can afford. Good luck.  

Answer 17

you should get some kind of therapy.

Answer 18

He needs to go to a rehab for drugs! If he claims that he wants to stop but can't he is an addict! He needs help. He should NOT be around your child, (high). He is not role model..

When people get high they forget some things. (like he could leave a joint on the sink and the child could pick it up and eat it). He needs to stop his behavior. But since he has been doing it for so long I find it doubtful. it is his crutch. You said that he found him mother dead at age 13. He needs counseling for this. It was a trauma for him. Stop justifying his pot smoking to his mothers death. I understand that that may be one reason why he smokes another one is because he can! You need to stand up to this man and tell him that you are sick of this and you dont NOT want him about your son if he is going to continue to do this. Tell him to get a shrink and/or to go inpatient. It's only 30 days. 30 days can change his life forever. The real question is if he really wants to change. Doesn't sound like it to me.

Imagine 10 years down the road he is still smoking and your kid walks in on him. He will probably offer it to your kid. To try to keep the bond with him. He will then tell your son NOT to tell you. He is not a father. He is acting like a kid. Tell him to grow up!

My father is almost 60 years old. My mother left my dad. Because of the same reasons that you are talking about on here. My father still smokes weed. My dad is a space cadet. He has smoked for so long that I believe that the weed have made him lose tons of brain cells. He is always losing things as well. I have never had a good relationship with him due to his pot smoking. It has made me not like him. Don't let your son have a dad that is like this. My dad played mind games between my mom and I. To justifly his addiction.

Answer 19

People only stop when they want do not pressure him bive him achoice Make arrangements with friend or realative to come stay them explain that if he doesnt smoke today you will wait and see and again tommorrow ect.praise his every step if slides go ahead and stay for the night if he does it again leave for a few days and so on.

Answer 20

If that his only crush let him do it. You done it before. Just don't let him do it around your son. It seems like you guys have a great family. Would you rather him drink like crazy? If that is all your worried about that is so petty. I know people that have kids and does it and their kids are fine. I think your blowing this out of proportion. Good luck on whatever you decide.

Answer 21

if he insists on smoking it..banish him to the garage, far away from bubs.

Talk to him about quitting, but he wont find it easy unless he really wants to, good luck, its a pity you cant get weed patches :(