I need advice, please be honest!

Question

me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years I've known him since I was 16, I will be 20 next month...I just broke up with him because he wanted me to play house with him...like he wants us to date 2 more years before he settles down with me. I feel as though I want to be engaged for the next 2 years, but I will not date him for another 2 years. i feel as though he wants all the benefits of us being married, but he doesnt want to make the full commitment...what should I do? Was I terribly wrong for breaking up with him?

Answer 1

I think you may be a little too young to want to settle down so fast. But I do side with you on ur refusal to not"play house". I understand that you want some sort of deeper commitment before you guys move in together but he's still young so he may not be too sure right now. If ur not willing to settle you may just have to cut him loose. Ur not wrong for feeling the way you feel.

Answer 2

You wrote:  i feel as though he wants all the benefits of us being married, but he doesnt want to make the full commitment...what should I do? Was I terribly wrong for breaking up with him?

You did the right thing.  If you feel he wants the benefits without the commitment, then you did the right thing breaking up.

I think you should date others.  If you and this ex-boyfriend are truly meant to be together, you will reconnect at a later date.  But for now?  Move on. Date others.  Finish your education, and start your career.

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

You have to do what makes you feel good about who you are and the situation you are in. Maybe he would have proposed in another 2 years, maybe not. Sometimes we never know what could have happened, and we move on in life with that little thought in our head of maybe we should wait a little longer. You both are still technically young, and still have ALOT to go through. Maybe he would like to be more financially sound before he pops the big question. Maybe he had legitimate reasons, only he knows the answers. Your not wrong if you are unhappy in the situation, you decided to change it. If you regret it is totally in your heart, and not anything anyone can answer for you.  

Answer 4

You are absolutely right for not moving in with him.  Maybe you should not have broken it off altogether....unless there are other reasons you feel like you had too, like he's leading you astray a bit and he has no regard for your religion which is important to you and God.  (I know,  I've been there and I broke it off cause he wanted nothing to do with my God!)  Now my fiance and best friend of 5 yrs are gonna be marrien in 5 mths...and the best part of it is...we are each others supporter in our spriritual walk!  Best wishes, and God bless!

And for me, it's the other way around.  I'm the bride and I'm 29; he as the groom is 26!!

Answer 5

YOU are too young to make a commitment or ask for one from him.

And HE is too young to make a commitment to you or anyone else.

Yahoo Answers is full of WEDDING REGRETS . . and most of those regrets are about (1) we got married too young (2) we eloped/we got married at the Court House.

So that alone should tell you that you should WAIT until YOU and HE are more mature . . have gotten an education . . obtained a decent job . . and saved some money so you can have a nice wedding/honeymoon and new furniture in your home.

What's the hurry?  What's the rush?  

According to recent statics the average age of Bride is 26 and the average age of a Groom is 29.

Answered by:  A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

Answer 6

Your not terribly wrong. But is not a good idea to want someone to do what their not committed to as of yet. this kind of rush can bring the relationship to a lose if one partner does not feel comfortable yet. So try an give him an yourself time and space. If their is a reason why he's doing it try an see how you two can solve it together after all being committed takes a lot of responsibilities from both sides. the more you guys know each other he better communication and honesty the relationship will have. But in another case if you don't know the reason for him thinking like this you should off sit down with him and talk it calmly, being mad is not going to help. Is not going to make him believe that your their to understand him so that he can open up. Or maybe change his mind. he will think of it as a demand and he will not feel the confident both of you should have but rather trap. In anycase you want to be with him so go and talk to him and try and understand each other. if he wants to keep dating it's maybe okay, You guys love each other, they're will be lots of times together  after marriage :) :) :)

Answer 7

I been with my husband since I was 16 also. Guess what he didnt propose I did we didnt get married till we were 21 5 years I think if you truelly love someone who cares about marrige. It is just a piece of paper sy. I would of been fine if we did not get married we would still be in love. Now if you doesnt move in together than theres a problem. So i think you migh of done something you might reget but you are young so good luck.

Answer 8

I would say that you did the right thing, IMO when people are in a relationship sometimes they get comfortable and don't see a point in making the next step. Which is fine if that is what you BOTH want, but that is not the case here.  

Answer 9

My advice is that playing house is the best way to get to know someone even more before marriage. Play house for a little while. If everything goes well, you'll get your proposal. Don't rush. Rushing things causes divorce and breaking up. I don't think you should break up with him, if you think he's the one.

Answer 10

Good job.  Breaking up with him will show you are serious, and either he will change his ways, or good riddens'. :)  

p.s.  Might I add I always think living together isn't a good idea.