I need advice... Don't know what to do

Question

My husband was my h.s. sweetheart. We got engaged the summer before our senior year. I found out I was pregnant at christmas time that year. Our daughter was born August 4th last year we got married October 13th last year. We no sooner got married and he talked to a girl about having s*x with her and her being his secret girlfriend! *she was supposed to be my friend, yeah right!* I thought there was something going on somewhere but didn't have any proof. I asked him and hed denied anything! He lied to me for a long time before she finally told me!! It's been a year and it still hurts me like it just happend yesterday! I thought I forgave him until we started fighting one night and accused me of cheating on him!!! I'd never do that! he doesn't want me to talk to guys anymore, because of his fear i'm gunna cheat! Things were going really well until I got pregnant again *this one planned* and it's like our marriage has just dwindled. We never see each other, cuz we work opposite shifts, and when we do we fight!! He even asked me one night if i thought we'd make it!! I had confidence until he asked that. and ever since I have ?'d everything!!

I love him theres no doubt about it! I mean we've been together for 5 years!! But I hate how I've come to have this love/ hate relationship! When we try to talk about it, it just ends up in a fight!! We want to let things work out for our children, but I feel like we are forcing it. I didn't realize how I really felt until I started talking to a guy I work with. He got me to open up and think about and talk about how I feel. But I just don't know what to do! I brought up marriage counceling, but he looked at me as if I was dumb!

I want to know what you would do...

I know we are young, we're both 20. So please don't make all the "oh your young" bull c**p! I don't think age has a lot to do with love.

Answer 1

Marriage counseling is not dumb.And if he thinks it is then so is he.Marriage is a lot of work on both sides try to see it from his side too ask why he cheated?Why does he think you're cheating?Talk to him not to the world wide web.But be prepared for the worst and hope for the best.

Answer 2

Not to scare you, but if he is accusing you of cheating it makes me wonder if he's not still cheating on you. My ex would always accuse me of cheating, and then come to find out it was him! I think marriage counseling would be worth a try. If you love him, and he loves you then do your best to make it work. If things still aren't working, then maybe you should get a divorce. I don't think you should stay together for the kids though. My parents did that c**p and it was much better when they finally split.

Answer 3

Considering what this man has done to you I would think that going to a counsellor to help you get over it is a small price to pay. Staying with him for the sake of kids/ love but spending your life unhappy and not being able to trust him doesn't sound like the answer. If he has cheated once for that period of time and lied it sounds like he could do it again. once a cheater always a cheater! Think of your children and the kind of environment you want them to grow up in.

Answer 4

Age doesn't have to do with love but relationships do.

Answer 5

so he cheated on you and thinks you are cheating? you should really give him something to worry about, but i think you are to decent a lady for that. so he will not go to counseling and you are prego again. do you have family or friends you can stay with for a while? maybe you 2 just need a break. see the thing that stands out here is that he will not do a thing to help the situation. well good luck, do not be afraid to leave him if you think you must, this will not get any better if he is not willing to meet you half way. take care.

Answer 6

It is not that simple to forgive and forget.Being cheated on by your spouse is a betrayal of the worst kind.You tried to get counseling for your marriage,but he looked the other way.The best you can do now is to keep yourself occupied on better things in life.Like your daughter or school.The more you pay attention on your husband's "wrong" actions,the worser your marriage will fall.

His insecurity could mean his cheating on you again?

Answer 7

hmmm well this is a difficult question to answer because there are kids involved. Personally if my man cheated on me for a year straight i would dump his *** and move on. thats bs. and if he is this insecure thats a problem especially because hes the one that cheated! if it doesnt work, it doesnt work and you will find someone some day who treats you right.

Answer 8

If he won't go to a marriage counselor,you can at least go yourself. That might help you get a clearer view of things.