I need advice about something?

Question

I'm 17 and a senior in high school but when I was in the tenth grade my boyfriend died in an accident. I haven't dated anyone for awhile after it happened. His sister is in my grade and we became friends and I still hang out with his family sometimes. Last weekend I went out with a guy for the first time since his death and his sister is mad because people at school are saying we are a cute couple. although we aren't really a couple yet but I really like this guy so I can see it happening. But now his sister won't talk to me and his mom gave me a dirty look when I saw her at the store today when I spoke to her. I asked one of his sister's other friends about it and she said they think I'm disrespecting Jonah's memory by going around with another guy. It bothers me a lot and I'm sort of thinking they are right. What should I do? Should I keep seeing this new guy or not?

Answer 1

PLEASE don't let yourself be manipulated into not doing what is in your own best interests to do.  Date whomever you wish whenever you wish.  If his relatives want to be idiotic, it's not your problem.  It is not at all necessary for you to not date to have good memories of him and honor him.  If he were a good guy and could send you a message, he'd want you to be happy and content and have fun.

Answer 2

H e died two years ago? And they still think you should be in mourning? You weren't married to him. You have to get on with your life, As should they. I understand how they feel, but come on, they should be happy for you. Don't let them upset you. You are finally living again. You might want to talk to his mom about this , and try to make her understand that you'll always love her son ,but he wouldn't want you to be lonely and he would want you to get on with your life. You'll always be a part of there lives too.

Answer 3

You have to move on w/ your life. I know it was & is extremely painful to lose a love one but...... you are so young, you need to have a life. His family will realize this in time. Don't feel guilty about living your life!

Answer 4

My little cousin went through the same thing you are now. You have to move on after you believe you have properly grieved for Jonah you must move on with your life. That is too much negative energy for a young woman just starting her life to be going through.  I suggest having a sit down with Jonah's parents and sister, let them know you would love to keep up the relationship with them but they should expect to see you date other guys and potentially get married and have kids one day. They should encourage you to move on. if they don't tell them see you later and get out of there ASAP. Don't let no one control  your life and make you feel bad about something that isn't your fault. Good luck Girl.

Answer 5

Jonah's mom and sister are dealing with an un-imagineable pain that most of us will hopefully never have to live with.  You dealt with great pain also, and in time you've begun to heal and move on from it, just as you should.  It may take longer for Jonah's family and they may have a hard time seeing you move forward because they haven't yet.  But you have a life to live, and you deserve to be happy.  Maybe you could write a letter or have a conversation with Jonah's sister and mom and tell them how torn you are with this decision.  Ask them what they would want Jonah to do if it were him who'd lost a girlfriend at such a young age?  If you can't gain their support, surround yourself with friends and family who would like to see you move on and be happy.

Answer 6

Girl...you are only seventeen years old. It's not your fault that their beloved son/brother was killed. You are young. You'll experience so much more things to laugh about, cry about, live through, and get angry at. All I can say is that you aren't disrespecting his memory.  don't know what they expect of you but your life shouldn't stop because of is death. Mom and sis need to relax and remember their brother/son in their own way not through you.  

Answer 7

You must move on with your own life.  What happened to your boyfriend a few years ago was a tragedy, but you still have a life to live.  I am sure  Jonah would want you to go on and be happy and love other people.  As far as his family,  they are probably still very sad about their loss.  I can't imagine how painful that would be. I would try to contact your friend and make sure she is ok.  If she ignores you , that is her problem.  It is silly for her to think that you will not move on with your life.  Keep seeing the new guy...it will be ok.  Take care!

Answer 8

your 17 and you have loved and lost. That doesn't mean you have to be alone for the rest of your life. my gosh live your life. You will always have a special place in your heart for him (Jonah) thats my oldest son's name, but its time to go on. They are angry at the world right now and will be for a very long time. They loved their son and still do and they need to accept that hes gone but your not, you still have living to do. Pray for them and always keep them in your thoughts, be careful what you do around them with this guy but your not wrong, your ok. your just right.

Answer 9

Well I think this is not disrespecting anyone's memory, I am sure Jonah would like you to be happy even if he was alive, and if this is the way you are going to find happiness, I think you should go for it, how long are you going to say worrying about Jonah's family feelings, what about yours.........go for it, be happy!