Question:

I need advice on dealing with rude people. I went to the Post Office today, two hours before I was to ?

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leave for a Tom Petty concert in Dallas tonite. The line was long and a young lady asked the postmaster to look for a pkg. He told her she needed a slip because if she didn't have one the pkg wasn't there yet. She insisted. He disappeared for over 40 minutes leaving one postmaster to handle the long line. The more I looked at the lady for causing the holdup the more I wanted to ask her if she was happy causing the line to be out the door at that point. When I got waited on and left, the lady was still standing there and the postmaster was MIA. I get to the concert and there is about a 250ish pound girl sitting next to me with her little purse on her shoulder and her elbow in my side. I scrunched up next to my boyfriend and she was still sometimes touching me. Most of the concert she stood up dancing with part of her body in my chair area and sometimes her a** was in my face. I saw more of it than Tom Petty. The people behind her could barely see and I could tell they were not having a good time. Sometimes she would swing her arm and I thought for sure she was going to hit me. I stood up near the end, still scrunched up next to my boyfriend and I decided she wasn't going to to it anymore. I tried to get fully in my chair space, but part of her body was still in my area and her arm kept brushing up against mine. My boyfriend could tell I was about to lose it and he traded places w/ me. (he offered to early on, but I said no because he weighs about what she weighs and I knew he'd be uncomfortable. One time when she was sitting down I said (where she could hear me) that it's bad to pay $99 for a seat and not be able to see because of people standing up. After I said it, she stood up. When I stand up, I make sure I'm not putting the person behind me out. I wanted to tell her she was in my space and making it hard for people behind her to see. As the night progressed, I wanted to tell her she was a rude b and that I saw more of her a** than I saw Tom Petty.

How should I have handled all of this?

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  1. ...My ADD kicked in about a third of the way thru your question & I drifted off... sheesh!

    But really, I would just kinda try to get her attention and kindly tell her that I couldn't see... sometimes people respond to kind requests. It's better to try that first than to make an indirect sarcastic comment, people don't respond too kindly to those. You were there to have a good time, it's just not worth getting all angry and upset when there could be a simpler more polite way to go about it.

    See how my 1st comment made you feel? That's probably how that chick felt too.


  2. every ones patience gets tested at some time, frustrating as it is, I don't think there is much you can really do other than grin and bare it,

  3. Ethics.  Sometimes I think they're not learned, they're genetics.  Last major concert I went to was on my B-day, went early to get seats up front to see Bob Seegar (sp).  Well, I got up front, only to have the guy in front of me put his girl on his shoulders (c**p), then have her proceed to dump her beer all over me (double c**p).

    Some folk just take an unconscious path thru life.  Can you change them? Probably not.  Do you want to avoid them?  As much as you can.

    I'm glad you found a man that is aware of his/your environment.  Just write it off...

  4. you know the fatal mistake was going to the post office they call it going postal for a reason. on the concert side next time get a guard and say this drunk girl next you is trying to start a fight and she scares you the guard will remove her more then likely because she is inclined to protest him and push him away which is a sure fire way to get rid of them.

  5. Fussing would actually only make you feel worse.  There are inconsiderate people everywhere.  Fussing at them does no good. Usually nothing will make them change.  So just learn to live with people. It is so sad that people cannot be considerate of others.  We would all be happier.  

  6. Hi, In a perfect world you would not even have to 'stare' at someone to let them know they have transgressed, they would be aware of their actions and thoughtful of discomfitting others...

    Alas, this is NOT a perfect world, so what I have found is that when someone is trying to be annoying then ignore it as if it is a compliment they are paying you etc, these type of people usually won't bother continuing if they are not getting any reward for their actions and in fact they themselves become the annoyed ones as their actions have not yeilded the desired results.

    Of course there some who are so dense that this course of action is lost on them, then you will unfortunately have to grow some balls and take a stand for your rights (or hopefully someone with the balls will stand up for you, what or where was your boyfriend during all this? or concert security?)

    I suggest attending some assertiveness training classes.

    Good Luck.

  7. You could have asked/told her nicely what you were thinking, and if that didn't work, I would have gotten rude with her. But, that's just me.

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